Dilemma on being a lonely virgin forever, why?

[sca6785060785]

i'm 23 years old I never had a boyfriend or date , so yeah I am a virgin .why? I'll tell you why because when I was younger my parents mostly , my mother didn't want me to , plus nobody was interested . two guys did ask me at two different times, but I had to say no plus they were strange . that was in high school . though I am not gorgeous , I am not ugly, sort of like ugly betty . so I feel cursed.

I am an only child .I am also a mixed raced (white father , black mother) so I am open to any guy . I am about to leave one college here in los angeles to go to a career college next year . my mother told me from the time I was young that education came first . I'm also 5'1 and overweigt but not by a crazy amount , I'm curvy . I don't have a job and yes I still live with my parents , but the block I live on people my age and up a few of them live with their parents , but I don't know their social lives very well . any way once I have things under control I will move out . I thought about online dating but still not sure about it .

i absolutely do not want to do the bar scene or club scene not my thing . I thought about trying a singles mixer ( I heard it on tyra banks)or speed dating when I finish at my career college and when I get a job , that's if I don't find anybody there. I would like to find someone at 25 or 26 , not 30 . I have two great friends and they are like me but yet they managed to get boyfriends though those relationships didn't last . their virgins too (their catholic) .

well that's my story sorry if it is long but it has been driving me crazy . hopefully you guys and girls can help me if not thanks for reading any way .sadly I feel like the only one in los angeles , yet the world.

[cucumber]

Right, if you want to find a boyfriend it is very easy for a woman. Find a guy you like, a good place to look would be somewhere that interests you ie. sports club, music venue, workplace something like that. As this means they are likely to have a similar interest to you. After you have your target it shouldnt be too hard to get them to like you. Don't be to extreme, be nice, FLIRT (this is what women do to make men fancy them, ie make small physical contact (touching their arm when talking to them), laugh at their jokes, eye contact, make sure they know your interested in what there saying. Ask them if they would like to participate in your 'common interest'. This gives you plenty of time to repeat the steps above, if you are interessted in them they will usually be interested in you - that is how it generally works. Maybe after several meetings they will try to kiss you after 'a long starey moment'. and hey presto you have a boyfriend.

I would try to avoid the arranged dating thing as you are likely to meet many wierdos and few people with similar interest. Plus you may find many awkward social situations that could only knock your confidence. Remember that every person has many likeable qualities and its up to you to make sure that people see yours, you should never try be something your not. emphasise your best bits.

hope this helps

The Love Doctor

x

[lordian]

Ok my best piece of advice to you in all honesty is, don't wait to date. Sex is a different story, that is a personal choice, but dating is essential for two reasons. Firstly it gives us all a much needed outlet for emotions in the age that your in and helps us to learn how to share those emotions, and problems, as well as (depending on how serious the relationship is) supporting someone else, or even letting someone help you out. The other major thing dating will give you, is the sense of what type of person you want to spend your life with, you don't want to go in blind at the age of 25, especially if you want to be settled down and have kids and a good, whole, family at any point thereafter.

[BlondeNovice]

Well, if this makes you feel any better, I didn't go out with anyone in high school either, and the guys who liked me were always (in my opinion) strange, or boring.

I think finding guys really depends on the circumstances you put yourself in. I just moved into res in university a month ago, and I'm already dating a guy who I like very very much. It's a completely different social atmosphere than high school, and I love it.

If I was still living with my parents I seriously doubt I would have had this opportunity to meet the guy I did, which would be extremely depressing.

I'm not gorgeous either but trust me there's a guy out there for everyone.

I guess the advice I would give is to try to some how get yourself out there. It may seem intimidating at first, but ti's well worth it. You could go to parties (even though I know your not into that, I think you might surprise yourself), moving out of the house, or maybe even moving to a different city.

I don't have much experience in this area except for at university though of course, so I'm not sure if what I said will be useful, but I wish you the best of luck and never give up hope!

I use to feel extremely lonely too and thought I'd never find someone, but then it just snuck up on me and caught me by surprise. =)

[Jaeford]

I know this story! Wait, this is me too! I am 25yrs old and still a a virgin as well. I only had one boyfriend but it only lasted a few months. Besides, I think he was jumping the gun too soon with trying to get me to spend the night. We were only dating for half a month when he did this. Anywhooo.My mother was like your parents, she didn't want me to date until I was 16. I didn't go on my first date until I was 18.

Nonetheless, you shouldn't rush these things but if this is what you really really want right now in your life: Put yourself out there for the world to see. Hang out with friends and meet different people. Stay open and also smile all the time. You will meet someone.

The difference between me and you, is that I am in a "transitional" period in my life. My focus is the completion of my education and landing several amazing internships. I don't have time for a boyfriend, unless I meet someone I am head over heels for and he feels the same for me.

Don't fret. Sometimes you have to something really different and out of the ordinary to receive different results.

[Evolution86]

There really isn't a solution that anyone will be able to give you. Everyone is different, and when they start dating, etc., is different. I will tell you this, at 22, I'm in pretty much the same boat as you. Although, I have dated, I haven't dated anyone who's been special enough to give him everything I had.

I look at it this way, I'm finding out exactly what I want from being friends with guys. I find different traits from different guy friends that I would like to find from a prospective boyfriend. I think of it as a mass dating scenario, I hang out with my guy friends and learn over time what traits these guys have that I would want in a boyfriend. Then I look for those sorts of things when meeting knew people.

Hope this helps.

[Anonymous]

your not the only person like that. you won't be alone forever you need to wait for the right person, it will be worth it, when I'm 23 I will most likely be a virgin and dateless. I'm 16 and haven't kissed a guy and hadnt had a date, don't worry about it

[Opinion Owner]

Also I forgot to say^^^^^above that I have 2 best friends too and they manage to get bfs and everything just like yours.

[Anonymous]

I'm in the same spot as you, but I'm 25 and about to finish all my education. I can't give you any fix all solution, but what I will say if that if you want things to change you have to do something to change them. So if you want to find someone you have to do something to put you in a situation to find someone. You're idea about online dating would work. Or your other ideas about speed dating or mixers. Basically, you just have to do something. It may be hard to get up the courage to do it, but at times you just have to say, "I'm GOING to DO THIS" and fight through your fear and do it. It's possible you might be able to meet someone by chance, but why leave things up to chance alone? Other options include finding a college club you can join or some other social place you can go to beyond the bars and clubs.

If you try the online thing just start out slowly. Remember if you decide you want to meet the person online in person to do it someplace safe in public.

[quantumdefender]

you think you have it bad? have your read my stories and artices on this site? I am 39 and still single and a virgin, trying dealing with 3 decades of rejections from women!