Why does my boyfriend act like a roommate?

[Anonymous]

Been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years, living together for 2. I don't even feel like he's my boyfriend anymore, we never kiss hello or goodbye, sometimes he will leave and not even tell me, he gets mad at me if I ask what he's doing or how long he's going to be, he doesn't care when I go out, he hardly ever wants to have sex, he falls asleep on the couch most nights then will come to bed early morning. I think the only think we do as a couple is have supper every night together. I don't know what the hell is going on, I asked him if he was happy with me, if he still wanted to be with me and he said yes, I asked if he was interested in someone else or if he has been with someone else and he said no. I'm attractive, I always do what I can to look good for him, I haven't let myself go or anything. I feel like I'm a good girlfriend, I do what I can for him...but I'm getting nothing in return..what do I do?

[paperplanes]

It sounds like he is taking you for granted, he's grown too comfertable, he wants to be with you but independent at the same time or he could be losing interest. Hold up. I don't know the details and you could be reading into things, and I could be wrong. So, just relax. If you're out for a while, if you're away from him, does it seem like he misses you? I think maybe you should start withdrawing. Don't try. Don't give. Focus on yourself and other things in your life. Get him to initiate. See what happens. You can tell him how you feel. Don't be too emotional, insecure, or needy. Don't stretch the speech on for too long. If it becomes a serious issue you can't handle, let him know how serious you are and don't appreciate it. You can also try doign somethign new with him, somethign different, that you'd both have fun with. Try something not sexual. A road trip, an outing, etc. If the chemistry is still there that's a good sign. Be natural, be yourself. If you don't like something, make it known, calmly and reasonably. Hope all goes well.

[Asker]

I'm usually not gone for too long for him to miss me. Today I went out and I just went for a drive and I got a text from him asking where I was and when I was going to be home, and when I asked why he said he was just wondering. We spend every day together except being a work, he hardly goes out but that's his own choice. I don't see him having time to cheat other than when I'm at work.

[paperplanes]

Oh okay. Tell him how you feel. Or maybe create some time apart, too much time together might not be so good.

[Blossom20k]

To me it seems he has someone else for sure without a doubt but he's still with you because he's just use to you.

[MrOracle]

Either the relationship has run its course and needs to be ended, or your Boyfriend is in a depression and needs to get some help to get out of it. Either way, the two of you need to address the issue and get it out in the open. If he's not willing, you're probably going to have to break it off with him and move out.

If you stay together without addressing the issue, you will both only grow more miserable and resentful of each other, and things can get much worse.

[Asker]

well I know right now his financial problems are taking a toll on him, and last year he just started up his own business so he's trying to get the going. I just feel like he's pushing me away. When I talk to him he just tells me were fine and I have nothing to worry about, and If I keep asking he just gets mad and I don't want to have to keep bringing it up.

[MrOracle]

Instead of asking him questions, tell him how his distance is making you feel (he probably doesn't know; he's likely to stressed to realize), and that you're concerned, and that you'd like to talk about it when he's ready. Then, back off and don't bring it up again until he does.

He should talk to you about it fairly soon.

People who've never started a business have no idea the toll it takes. The problem isn't you, but he's still got to make you an important part of his life.

[Cartiphilus]

My first thought is he's f***ing another girl. It's time to move out.