An ex-husband or ex-boyfriend, baby-daddy that won't even commit to them and, depending on who has custody, they have to pay the one who does, child support. ! Not to mention, they are TAINTED in the dating field as an easy lay when that could be farthest from the truth (their husband could have died and she could have been widowed. Though more rare it's still a possibility). I am NOT in this situation but there were times in my past I had a pregnancy "scare". Though, I would have welcomed a baby, my finances as a single person would have taken a nose dive. I would have definitely filled for child support (IF the baby's father wasn't a bum! But even still...). When I was younger, I DID judge them negatively, but now that I am older, I am thinking that at least they are lucky that they got to pass on their genetic line and experience being a mother.
A lot of single mothers don't have the child by choice when they are young, and if the father is young too, he sometimes walks away, bc it would ruin his goals and hopes. I feel sorry for her, bc society feels when the father walks away it is the mother's responsibility to raise the child, even though he is just as responsible. Ya, so what, he may pay child support, whoop-di-doo, she stays up with kid when their sick, attends all the parent teacher meetings, raises them to be a good person, and has to deal with the child asking questions about their father being absent in the picture.
So here she is raising a child with little to no help (especially if he is a dead-beat dad) and yes she has to contend with other dead-beats trying to get some action bc they automatically think she must be sexually neglected/frustrated.
I think some young mothers actually think the opposite, bc they have been burnt in the past by a dead-beat already, so why chance it and labels all guys as dead-beats at that point. Can't hardly blame her.
It takes a special kind of guy with a lot of heart to be with a girl that already has a child as there is undoubtedly drama between the mom and the father.
It is unfortunate, there isn't some kind of website that publicly displays these dead-beats who walk away bc it isn't convenient and/or they want to use the money they make for something else. Women could go on the website and see if the guy they are currently dating has a child that they have walked away from. It would identify what kind of character the guy has and publicly stamp him with a warning label.
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When people don't have nothing important in their life going on they worried about ish that doesn't concern them.
@TenderFantasy You just answered this question yourself. In your youth you had a lot of pregnancy scares because you had unprotected sex and didn't think of taking plan b / contraception pills afterwards.
The AVERAGE single mother is as thoughtless about birth control and is usually single because she a) got involved with a douchebag who was just using her for easy sex & was never interested in a relationship fuck having a baby or b) baby's daddy is who the fuck knows who among the 10 odd men she's had a one night stand with in a month.
Because she's single - particularly if she was younger - she typically doesn't have a good job, education and more often than not is on welfare or child support benefits.
Benefits alone has a stigma of being lazy, incompetent, etc. without kids being considered. And if she's getting child support from baby's daddy most guys are going to be worried they'll get roped into paying for her next child - aka there's guys who'll think she lied to the first guy about being on birth control, disliking condoms, etc.
Exceptions - divorce, death - exist but as like anything called an exception these situations are RARITIES not the NORMAL of single mothers.
Guys just like to dog women period, especially on this site, there is a huge discrepancy in their views and reality. I admit even I have been mean and cruel to single mothers, because if you get pregnant really young, it just seems you should of known better. But now that I am single, I can see from their point of view and I think it is dumb to write someone off just because they have kids (the same for single fathers), especially at an older age. Sure the person had kids with the "wrong" person but maybe they truly thought they would be together forever. It doesn't make them a bad person, but if a guy truly judges you from a harsh view he wasn't worth it anyways, someone who is meant for you will always love you regardless of things they don't find favorable...
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Your rant completely overlooks the fact that she CHOSE to become a single mother, and if the father of the child is a bum, that is only because she chose to have sex wth a bum!
The problem for younger guys datin single moms is that a childless single girl can make a guy the highest priority in her life, while a single mom can't (and shouldn't.) It's not a horribe reflection on her that she can't make a guy more important, but it's also not a guy's fault if he feels that's not enough for him.
Define "dogged"?
What is the specific theme we are talking about?
Are we talking about just dating?
Well, bluntly, when I was a single guy looking to fall in love with someone and to go long term and have a wife of my own and my own kids... I didn NOT want some woman who has already gotten pregnant with some other guy, with his kid, a kid in the way of dating. I dated ONLY single, childless women.
Outside of that, what "dogging" are they getting?
Life choices? Well, not in EVERY case but in many cases they gave it up and were chasing the CHAD's and TYRONES and the bad boy players... the ones who will NEVER settle down and will always bail after they get laid. If they had unprotected sex with one of these bad boy, player types thinking they could tame them and that they'd stick around for kids. They are pretty dumb.
If they ended up with a kid by some other circumstance, I can empathize. I still wouldn't have dated one. Let the single dads out there date the single moms.
You 38, you might to be able to give birth at that age, so it make sense if you feel that being a single mom is less worse than being childless forever, among non-monogamous animals single moms are common, the females get humped and dumped, but at least they continue their genetic line you can say. Her ex won't want to commit to her? it's her problem for choosing such man, if even the father of her child don't want to commit to her, why would I commit to her? single moms bring too much baggage with them, why would a man want to raise a child of other man? it's a very desperate move, especially for a young man.
Most single mothers are bad parents when it comes to academics, emotional support, discipline, etc. Most criminals come from single mother homes.
Why would any good quality man ever choose a single mother instead of a single woman that didn't make bad decisions? Why would he choose drama, stress, and an extra financial burden that wasn't his fault?
Single mothers will only get guys that use them for sex, or low quality guys that have very few options. The only chance she realistically has of having anyone decent is getting a single father since they are both in a similar situation.
I don't judge, but I admit I'm having a rocky relationship with one such woman, a friend of my wife.
I don't say her current situation is her fault, but I help her out with her child because my wife wants me to (by the way the child is not mine and I never had any kind of sexual relationship with her) and sometimes she gripes that I give better stuff to my daughter and my half-brother, which is sort of an adopted son.
I think that's out of place - of course my actual children and family are the priorities, and she comes later - but she still gets what she needs. She's not a bad person, but she's a real choosy beggar and I'm seriously considering cutting the support we are giving her.
I wouldn’t take anything most of the incels and mgtow types say about this subject seriously. Its all part of a movement to make women out to be public enemy #1 because they didn’t want to fuck them.
in short they have an agenda.
Hahahaha! Typical female victim mentality. Having sex with men they can’t trust is exclusively the man’s fault, huh? Women aren’t responsible for their own choices? It’s always someone else’s fault.
THAT is why single mothers get a bad rap. More often than not, they made a series of bad choices that landed exactly where they ended up. But we’re not supposed to talk about that.
Look how quickly you dumped 100% of the responsibility on men. Most people do! Say “deadbeat dad” and nobody blinks an eye. Men are always held responsible for their poor choices. But shitty women always get to blame men. Ell oh ell!They haven't planned or been careful enough about the serious matter of having babies is what people think. Gov't taxes becomes the husband and people resent that. People aren't impressed by having babies when the mother can't properly support them.
If it is pregnancy by hook up or being drunk people get quite disparaging. If their are several different fathers people get even more disparaging.
I'm not sure they're not right.
Actions have consequences, sleeping around is easy for women, irrespective of their looks. However, it's almost impossible for most men. Generally, women get pregnant by a certain type of guy and then ask for help from another set of guys with whom they would never have gone out in the first place.
Sleeping around isn't wrong but expecting that men will have to pay for your fun is wrong. There are still plenty of guys who will date single moms however high quality men may avoid them.
I think it is more that fact that when a guy gets involved with a single mom that has very small kids , the kids take priority in the relationship. This is the way it should be but a lot of guys want more out of a relationship than what is left over.
it is because they deserve criticism for picking the wrong guy even when they are warned about them, i mean why are they not with the father, plus here in the UK they make themselves single mothers for social security and a house. It is like some posted here yesterday on something, they are free to make their choices but not free from the consequences. Plus it is not fair that they can keep taking away disabled peoples needs like priority car parking and disabled seats on buses.
Two big factors, the first is just plain old human stupidity and people making judgments without knowing the facts. The second depends on the "type" so to speak of single mom. Is she a mother of 4 kids, two of whom are from different dads, neither of which pay support, and doesn't even know for sure who the father of the other two are? That's a different story.
I think when they hear "single mother" most guys aren't thinking about widows or a wife whose husband abandoned the family. Instead they think of the worst case stereotypical never-married with four or more kids from multiple baby daddies, all of who are stalker-level crazy, And she is now looking for a financial bailout.
Too much baggage to be worth it, and no guy wants to raise another man's kids. I mean I don't get it this all seems fairly obvious. I mean just pretend you're a guy for a minute. You have 2 girls to choose from and they're both pretty much the same but one is a single mom and the other isn't. Which one are you going to choose?
Single mothers bring all of their problems on themselves and yet they expect to be seen as "heroes". If you look at the statistics of how children fare coming from single mother homes you would realize single mothers are actually the worst kind of cancer imaginable.
No. They cause their own problem by getting porked by a dead beat. Its not the kids that are the problem. But dealing with her bullshit.
Because 90% of them could have avoided becoming single mothers by using their brain a bit.
When someone had a baby, and they are no longer with their partners, they usually fall into one of these categories:
- Nobody likes her attitude.
- She enables bad attitude.
I've dated single mothers before I give them mad respect.
Could have died, could have been widowed, could've, shoulda, woulda. The fact is with the majority they're a single mother by her own CHOICE. Either she CHOSE badly and left him. Or she CHOSE badly and he left her. Rather than b**** about being judged by your mistakes how bout you instead just put in more effort to making LESS of them.
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