Do you have mechanism for determining if someone is genuinely confused as apposed to pretending to be confused by stuff you say- if so what is it?

[VIVANT]

ONLINE PIC

I’m trying to think of a neutral example but it’s difficult and I don’t want the example itself to bias people.

My concern is the post will devolve into conflict- resolution for the example and stray away from the objective which is _how to detect when people are feigning confusion_.

So I do not think I’m going to provide an example. I may add one later if one comes to mind that I think may be useful. If anyone wants to create hypothetical to convey the problem that is welcome 🤗

I WOULD put this in a ‘psychology’ section IF we had one but we do not so I am putting it in Society & Politics bc

1) communicational conundrums are at the core social issues that do not apply to one specific gender.

2) while not primarily a political question, feigning confusion can absolutely apply in political situations, esp considering politics in the current climate is 99% gas lighting.

But all in all I’d prefer if we had a psychology section. 👍🏼

I can tell by being clear. When people genuinely do not understand me, it’s a straightforward fix. When they are playing , it never gets resolved.

I’m never really sure which one it is.

I don’t really care. If someone is confused by me, I just move on. Life’s short.

I can never tell the difference. I just assume they are genuinely confused.

OTHER.

Updates

4 mo

Why does gag do this 🤦🏻‍♀️ I haven’t had time to go through all the answers and in some cases correct typos & now i have to select one. Why can’t we choose on our time, what’s the purpose of forced choosing? Honestly, often I want to ask a question but I know I can’t get to it on time and I hate feeling like I left lol having so so I don’t. l ask. May seem silly but it’s too stressful 🤷🏻‍♀️

Well I’m sorry but I’m not ready 😤

[WindAtMyBack]

If you accuse someone of something and they say "I don't know what you're talking about." it means they know exactly what you are talking about.

Other than that, I don't think I have anything specific that I look for other than how likely they are to be confused. There is also the matter of how important it is, and how patient I happen to be that day. I rarely assume that someone is faking it. If all the stars align, I'll go out of my way to explain something. If the stars are not aligned, it becomes "whatever, not important".

It's more likely that they just don't give a shit about whatever I'm rambling on about.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

I want a girl to tell me straight up if she cancels a date that she has other plans, and that is all I need. If she stumbles over words a few days later she cancels our date than I know she went out with someone else, and it doesn't matter, but why lie? One little lie leads down the road to many more lies to come about with that same person, that is why I watch who I communicate with, and I watch for signs.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Thanks for MHO :)

[menina]

Voted A. If I repeat everything and they still seem confused, I assume they're either mocking me or they think they're funny. I don't have patience for that.

[OlderAndWiser]

One of the signs of someone who fakes confusion is that they get a faraway look in their eyes, with their head turned up as if they are looking to the sky, trying to feign a look of being lost in thought.

[Jamie05rhs]

My honest question to you would be why is this a problem to you?

If someone "acts confused," they're usually not confused. What is happening here is this person doesn't agree with what you are saying, but they are making a genuine effort to understand your point of view. So why is that a bad thing? They are trying to have a dialogue with you and listen to you and hear you out. I think that that is something that we need MORE of in this world, not less.

[Jamie05rhs]

Regarding poll option #1, sometimes things just will NEVER get resolved, period. That doesn't mean that either person is a bad person. I think the fact that they tried is still honorable.

If someone listens to you, but at the end they still don't come around to agreeing to your point of view, it is not a failure. It is not a loss. It's not something you have to be upset about.

We need to learn to be at peace with this potential outcome.

[VIVANT]

It bothers me if someone is pretending bc I don’t want to waste time explaining, I’m nit thinking if situations where there is disagreement. I’m thinking if situations where they say they don’t understand which is very different. If aoenoeb says they sugared I didn’t assume they don’t understand. If soenein asks me to clarify a point I didn’t assume they didn’t I detain per we but rather they’re why to think it over. So I’m thinking if when’s or ken I’d point Naomi saying they didn’t I detached to something that seems fairly straightforward like

Me “can you please step to the side”

Them “I do not understand”

Me “Can you please move so I didn’t bump into you”

Them “I do not understand”

Me“Please move”

Them “What do you want?”

That kind of thing, rather than just saying
“oh sure no problem” bc it’s not hard to understand is it lol

Obviously this is a simplified example but I’m thinking of straightforward stuff or stuff that’s seems straightforward but massive it’s not.

But for ex at what point will you feel in my example that it’s not a misunderstanding?

I think for me after the second time

[VIVANT]

Sorry I forgot to proof read

My New Year’s resolution was to proof read stuff more consistently and I’m already failing 🤦🏻‍♀️

[Jamie05rhs]

@VIVANT It's okay lol. I forgive you. 😊

[Jamie05rhs]

What does "sugared" mean, though?

[Jamie05rhs]

(For the record, I'm GENUINELY confused! 😂. I don't know which word you were trying to write!! 😆 )

[Jamie05rhs]

Okay, now I'm totally lost. I couldn't decipher the other typos in the remainder of that paragraph, either!! 😬😵‍💫

[Jamie05rhs]

I understood your example, though.

[Jamie05rhs]

And oh yeah. That's why I refuse to talk to robots on customer service calls. Because they never understand anything.

[Jamie05rhs]

@VIVANT

[VIVANT]

Yeah I don’t think things can’t get resolved. Even if people agree to disagree that’s not the sage as I don't know the literal words you are saying.

[Jamie05rhs]

@VIVANT Could you possibly re-write this paragraph for me, please?
"It bothers me if someone is pretending bc I don’t want to waste time explaining, I’m nit thinking if situations where there is disagreement. I’m thinking if situations where they say they don’t understand which is very different. If aoenoeb says they sugared I didn’t assume they don’t understand. If soenein asks me to clarify a point I didn’t assume they didn’t I detain per we but rather they’re why to think it over. So I’m thinking if when’s or ken I’d point Naomi saying they didn’t I detached to something that seems fairly straightforward like"

(Don't change the sentences. Just fix the errors.)

I really want to know what you said.

[VIVANT]

Sure thing, later, 😊

[Jamie05rhs]

Okay! 🤓

[Jamie05rhs]

@VIVANT Hey- don't forget! Haha

[VIVANT]

Sorry! Haven’t been on but I was just thinking how I have to correct this lol so I def will 👍🏼

[Jamie05rhs]

Okay! Cool

[VIVANT]

So when I asked the question originally, I was thinking of simple situation, but then decided of course it could be appropriate to more complex situations like politically, or legally culturally whatever, but I am first I was just thinking of like if you say something straightforward to someone and they keep acting like they don’t know you’re talking about something that shouldn’t be hard to understand and if you make an effort to re-explain, they still act like they don’t know what you’re talking about so I’m not talking about opinions like I think Florida would be a great place to live and then they disagree and then I’m calling bad they’re acting like they don’t understand what I’m saying, I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about like let’s say you say we should go shopping and pick up some work supplies and they act like they don’t know you’re talking about or you could say will you help me pick up work supplies and they act like they don’t know you’re talking about and then you explain it and then they act like they don’t know and of course there’s gonna be cases where, for some reason somebody doesn’t know what you’re talking about but I wasn’t talking about disagreement or different viewpoints. This is just like, straightforward interaction stuff

[Jamie05rhs]

@VIVANT Oh, okay. Well, I love Florida, and I like shopping as well. :)

[Jamie05rhs]

But I still wish you would fix the errors in your previous comment.

[VIVANT]

I know Jamie, I was going to but I’m sick and it’s Brent of long I can’t remember it off hand, I’d have to literally go through it and I’m just too tired. Sorry 😢

[Jamie05rhs]

@VIVANT Aww; okay. I understand. It's alright. 💜

[VIVANT]

🙏🏼🙏🏼

[MysticDevice]

After I explain somethig a second time I just say nevermind and move on.

I don't really have a mechanism for determining if they are actually confused or not. After all this time I can just tell.

[VIVANT]

You’re a twoer,

I’m a theeer, I don't know why 😂

[blondfrog]

Yes I can. I can even tell when someone is trying to gaslight me or someone else. Most people are also bad at lying. One of the easiest ways is when they lie they can't make full eye contact with you and i takes them longer to tell you that story.

[AmeerX]

I do understand when someone is genuinely confused and in cases I can see from their expressions.

Sometimes people can pretend that they are dunce though so they can get away with mistakes

[exitseven]

No, I just assume they are a moron until they show me different

[Sevenpointfive]

i don't see this as a skill. it should be common knowledge. we learn this as babies.

[Still-alive]

Facial expressions plus body language plus how well you know them to notice ‘tells’ when they’re lying of not.

[Alex8736]

I usually watch someone's body language

[Jennz6]

Life is too short for that