I’m considering moving to a larger city with my bi-racial girlfriend, we are looking for a place that has diversity ideally. If I lived in an area that was predominantly black how can I fit in and make friends in the community? The media makes “the black area” out to be a very scary place.
I’m asking because I honestly don’t know, I’m from a small prairie town.
I loathe the idea of moving out to a white suburb and having my girlfriend feel isolated and “othered”
How can I be a good neighbour living in a black neighborhood?
1. Being with a woman is dangerous for a man. At any time a violent criminal can show up and you may have to risk your life to protect her. It's best to be with women who are less likely to create drama with strangers (potentially violent dudes) and women who aren't begging you to move to an area full of potentially violent people. Maybe your desire to move her is really because she dropped hints to manipulate/push you into doing it and you only THINK it's your idea. It's like a Jedi mind trick. She says, "You are smart. You will move us to where crime is higher & most murder victims are male." And you say, "Yes. I am smart. I will move us. I will move us. What a brilliant idea I just had."
Personally, if I'm going to risk my life for a woman it's going to only because I did everything to minimize risk.
1b. Don't fall for the trap of someone telling you it's racist not to want to move into a higher crime area. You would be a fool to move to such an area REGARDLESS of the racial make up. Without even talking about race, look at the crime stats & crime maps. If you're moving from an area of low crime to one of high crime you're not wise. The flip side of this is there's all black neighborhoods full of rich people with zero crime but you can't afford to move there. And there's white places full of crime where you'd be a fool to move too.
2. You're not married. I'm not sure why you feel the need to pretend to be married by living with this woman and thinking that your relationship is as strong as if you had both bothered to make a legally binding commitment. There's a reason why one or both of you don't think it's a good idea to do that. And whatever that reason is, is probably also a great reason NOT to be living together. Not that you asked but there it is.
2b. Maybe she wants to move to those areas to find a boyfriend she's more attracted to. If moving was in any way her idea, I'd put money on this. Sorry. It's not your job to help her do that.
By the way, Pew Research did a study where they found that most black people living in conservative areas don't experience racism. On the flip side most black people living in big city liberal areas DO experience racism... almost as if the most racist people are actually white liberals. It's counter intuitive if you've been brainwashed into thinking conservatives are racist tho.
Well I don’t intend to move to a ghetto or all black area. I just want to find a racially diverse community, I think it would be better for her not to be stuck with a bunch of yuppie white people.
See point 2 of my original post. And you are changing your question because originally it was about moving to a "black neighborhood" in a major city! Now you say "racially diverse". Not the same thing at all. Although 10-15 years ago I would have had a different opinion but the security situation in major cities has gone downhill since then.
Remember always that the South's victory in the Civil War, was all thanks to their superior BDSM tactics. You see, they shot Abraham Lincoln and passed laws that basically made it illegal to leave the plantation. But that's not all they did. They defeated North soldiers through ball busting and making them into human furniture on the battlefield. It was a long slow process, much like cooking lamb belly. But the end result was worth it. The Confederacy knew that in order to win, they needed to break their enemies' spirits. And what better way to do that than through BDSM? They would capture North soldiers and bind them to chairs or tables, making them into human furniture. They would then proceed to ball bust them until they begged for mercy. It was a brutal tactic, but it worked. The Confederacy also employed other hilariously random BDSM acts on the battlefield. They would flog their enemies with whips and canes, spank them until they were red and raw, and even flop their guts onto them for good measure. It was a true testament to the power of BDSM and discipline. In the modern world, however, it's best to ask permission before engaging in such acts.
As a White Gal Living in NC, I Live in An Area Predominantly Black But I Get Along With Everyone. Black Or White Or Anyone. Be Friendly and Stay Out Of their Biz. lolxxoo
I realize this sounds like a really dumb question to some people, I unfortunately have a narrow understanding of bigger cities and living in racially diverse neighborhoods
Yes, we are thinking about having a baby once we settle into a new place, I want to provide the best life, I definitely want her and the baby to have a sense of belonging and not feel like “those people” next door
white and bi racial and black is not enough information. it' cultural training and how well do you understand the culture to engage and interact? I know mixed color families and different races/cultures families. There are unique issues to handle, but you just treat people like human beings... be nice, talk to them listen, help people, relate to them, eat together... and roll with it. Realize you may treat people one way, but they treat you another. You have to learn their culture since you are the foreigner. If you like living in their culture, then you are fine. If you don't, you'll want to move.
We don't live in the Midwest anymore, but we originally moved to the Rocky Mountain region from St. Louis. Certainly it's ethnically diverse, but the crime rate isn't anything to be excited about. I wish the best for you and your lady, I do hope you find somewhere that you both are comfortable
We visit Portland about once a year for my wife's job. We have friends that live up the Columbia river Gorge, not far from Hood River. Very pretty area. Homelessness is a growing problem in the Portland area, but it's certainly ethnically diverse.
I have a stepsister in Spokane, she's pretty happy with it. Not too expensive and she likes it better than other much larger cities. They have two l girls.
Well, no one can tell you for sure what you'll experience, but there are relatively few places that are purely "white suburbs" or "black neighborhoods" anymore, and I think you have an unrealistic expectation if you think you're going to be shunned in a suburb.
I wouldn’t likely be ostracized or shunned being a white male, I worry my girlfriend might. We are also thinking about having a baby, so I want to live somewhere that would accept him/her without being “othered”
I wouldn't call moving to a "Black" neighborhood diverse.. And I don't think you're girlfriend would be comfortable with that set up.. I mean unless it was a nice middle class "Black" neighborhood.. But you guys would probably be better living in a diverse part of the city.. Just be friendly, good morning and evening, and if you like being apart of local events, find some of them..
Yes, 100% agree and that’s what I’m looking to do. I currently live in North Dakota and I’m a country boy, the big city’s are new to me. I will need to move a long way from here to find what I’m looking for
Aw yeah I feel that one.. If your girlfriend is from North Dakota as well, she definitely a more mixed up area is the best.. Because many inner city "Black" neighborhoods... Are kinda rough.. LOL.. Unfortunately..
I don’t live in the inner city, but I’ve heard stories that mixed race, black or Hispanic women can be targeted for being with white guys. Violence in the cities in America has spread out from the areas that used to be rather isolated in “bad neighborhoods”. There has been an increase in crime, but the spread out os why it seems like crime has really exploded lately. You’re probably more likely to face more discrimination in lower economically viable areas, regardless of race.
It must have been a long fall off the turnip truck. Move to a racially diverse neighborhood, not one that is mostly black or white. Nevermind the racial demographics and worry about the crime rates. More idiots=more problems, regardless of race. Or just grow some balls and tell the racists to go fuck themselves.
I'd start by not thinking about it being a "black" neighbourhood. They're just neighbours, and you even speak their language!
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Anonymous
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They will hate you and take advantage of you. They don’t even like each other. Move elsewhere that is more accepting of white people, especially white guys with a black woman.
The way it works is... (most) black women would hate on her for being with a white guy. Most black guys would not care. But the same black women hating on her might have a white boyfrend later on and claim it's okay for them.. just not for you. Usual bs. But there's communities where mixing is more normal than others. Depends on the area.
Her dad is black and her mom is Hispanic. She’s more Hispanic in appearance I’d say. I think we’d both be slightly out of place in an all black inner city area
@Notherndude84. I drive past a sushi place on my way to work. It is in the better part of the city. Last Friday night a guy in a Hoodia walked in and walked over to some guy in a booth chowing down on some sushi, he took out a gun and shot the guy dead before he could finish his dinner. You just never know.
