If a girl slaps her boyfriend, does he have the right to hit her back?

[Anonymous]

[MrOracle]

You need to make it clear if you are asking a LEGAL question or a MORAL question, because the answers vary significantly. I'll try to give quick, simple versions of each answer.

Legally, he has the right to defend himself from violence with whatever is the minimal amount of violence it takes to stop you from attacking him. That's a judgement call, but there is usually some leeway given to the defender. Legally, he could probably slap you back, but could not punch you or otherwise cause more serious injury.

Morally, he should not hit you back if you aren't continuing to attack him. But morally, he shouldn't be attacking you verbally either, and I'm sure there is behavior that you shouldn't be doing either, because in these situations, it's almost never completely one-sided.

The real answer is that this is a toxic relationship that needs to end, immediately and permanently. Break up with him and move on with your life, and in the future, maybe put a lot more weight on the guy's morals and values, and less on things like his height, looks, money, and social status. Here's the thing you need to know about people: most people never change, and on the rare occasions that they due, they usually get worse, not better, so if you get with a guy who has low morals, hoping he'll improve them, you're a fool. The ONLY time you have any input is at the beginning, before you've invested too many feelings or have made any commitment, which means you need to figure out VERY early on what a man's morals and values are like. And THAT means you need to be grounded in reality, and NOT overlook major red flags, because once you get with someone, you are accepting them AS THEY ARE, not how you want them to be.

You have to make your judgements at the beginning, and that's hard, but if you just go based on your feelings, you will almost always make a bad choice, because your feelings care nothing at all about your safety or your long-term future - feelings only care about THIS MINUTE, and thus are an unreliable thing to base mate selection on.

[Master_Debator]

I mean yeah technically... equal lefts for equal rights and all that.

At the same time, I'd just use it as an excuse to permanently end things with her. I've brused girls just by bumping into them so actually hitting one... nah... They'd probably die if I did that. I knock full grown men out and they're way tougher than women.

So that's my take on it... it would be the end of the relationship and any contact. I think the last time I put my hands on a woman, she was slapping me in the head while I was driving... I pulled over and grabbed her by the hair and smashed her face in the dashboard. Fucked her up... that was a wake up call to me to get rid of her and control my emotions, because she could've gotten me in trouble for that even though she was provoking it.

I told that life story of mine just so nobody thinks I'm sitting on my moral high horse looking down at the plebs with my judgement. I'll hit a bitch... I just try not to... and if she's that way, I make it my goal to get her out of my life before I do something stupid.

[msc545]

I had almost the same thing happen with my ex, who began hitting me in the head while I was driving on the freeway. We were not even arguing at the time, so I have no idea what triggered her. I stopped the car, told her to stop it, put her hands down on her lap, and I would take us home. I proceeded to try to do that, and she attacked me yet again. I finally managed to get home with some bruises on my face. I never touched her, but of course, when we got home, she immediately called the police and, when they arrived, told them that I had been hitting her and threatening her. The police, of course, arrested me and took me to jail where I actually spent a restful night. In retrospect, I'm glad the police did that because it kept me safe for that night. I was never charged with anything because even the assistant female assistant district attorney, who I wound up speaking to and ultimately dating, wasn't stupid enough to try that.

[Master_Debator]

@msc545 That's what I'm scared of... she was hitting you and then they arrest you. I hate to imagine what would've happened to me if a cop pulled up after I smashed a girl's face in the dashboard.

I've managed to not even get a driving ticket in this country (United States) for over 10 years now and I kinda wanna keep that record and not get arrested just because I'm keeping a deceptive, manipulative, and/or combative woman around.

I'm surprised the police didn't take her... you had the marks. I guess it's like what I've been told, that the police side with whoever that called them first in some places? I seen too much when I was a kid and my Mom and Step-Dad... sometimes they'd arrest her instead and that's the only time I felt any real releif... when they'd arrest him... she'd do things like let me smoke weed and drink the beers (to stay up and hang out with her), only to blame me for stealing it the next day.

[msc545]

No here where I live the police always arrest the man and never arrest the woman. I asked one of the cops after he had arrested me one time why he didn't arrest her since he knew very clearly what she had done. He said that they never arrest women because if they do they get in trouble for it and they have to arrest somebody because otherwise they know that they're going to just have to come back out to the same house again if they don't. He also said that they can't come back with nobody because they are expected to make an arrest in all DB calls.

[Master_Debator]

@msc545 Dayum. Like marching orders that just get followed.

[msc545]

Yeah, I'm not so sure it is not the marching orders. It might very well be, or it's their own need to appear heroes to women.

[Master_Debator]

@msc545 One pattern I recognized as a kid, they always found a way to charge money. Like with my step-Dad, they forced him to pay for his own jail time, and then forced him to take 'anger-management' classes that costed more than my college classes as an adult. Same thing happened to my Mom.

When they finally got divorced, they charged them money. Then I watched the real financial shit show when it came to child support. My Mom ripped him off big time... he couldn't afford to live anywhere... then couldn't afford to work eventually. It's a long story... but...

That pattern when the courts was involved... they always charged something. Like charging my Step-Dad $700 to give my mom $300 in child support. Fines with the jail time... That was so long ago so maybe that's changed since I was a kid.

[msc545]

It has changed only to the extent that it has gotten more expensive and therefore worse and less fair.

[Master_Debator]

@msc545 I figured. Greedy bastards.

[msc545]

Also corrupt crooks

[Master_Debator]

@msc545 I hear stories on Youtube... like divorce court making him pay for her lawyers to sue himself with. I haven't had to deal with that... but if it's true... they really are all crooks. The whole system feels rigged to be honest. Plus I see shit like a child loving pedo woman get 6 months in jail and then a guy that did the same thing gets 25 years... Isn't it like they based our legal system on being a simp? I mean equal crime should be equal time in my mind. I'm starting to see them even do that with race now... Oh you're black... a few months, oh you're white, 25 to life for the same thing. I see a blazing reason the crime stats are so... like they are. Sorry for the rant, these youtube videos are like brain worms sometimes.

[msc545]

It is true. Men are often required to pay for their wife's lawyer in a divorce so that the lawyer can fuck them over. That is the one thing that did not happen to me, luckily, because if it had happened, I would have just simply refused to do it and, of course, would have been thrown in jail for that refusal. You are right. The whole system is rigged, and it's rigged against men. You are all so right regarding the race issue. Men that are not white but some other color, particularly black or brown, get much longer jail sentences for the same crimes that women get off on easily. Asian men typically do not get long jail sentences, interestingly, and I'm not sure why that is, because they are not really white. They get a lot of sympathy from courts, mainly because they have, I think, a reputation for being pretty law-abiding. Have a beer, and it will placate the brainworm...

[Beckybooboo]

If it comes to the point where you are physically hitting each other, I honestly think it will never be a safe environment for either person. I've never feared my boyfriends would hit me and I never felt I would hit them! The only boy ever hit, was my youngest brother and it was just me punching his chest, not his face. After it happened, I couldn't even talk to him or look him in the face, because I felt so bad. It also happened when I was young. I guess, if the boyfriend feels threatened and feels a need to get you under control, he needs to do what he feels is necessary.

[fonduegirl]

Nope. It depends on why she did it and well, men are physically stronger so it just doesn't make sense.

She owes him an apology unless it was something dreary, such as him cheating on her while she's pregnant.

[AI Opinion]

I’m here on GAG to help you unlock the messy truth about love, red flags, and everything in between.

Nope, he doesn’t “have the right” to hit her back. She’s 100% wrong for slapping him, and that’s abusive, but answering violence with violence is toxic as hell. The healthy move is walking away, setting boundaries, and probably breaking up. Mutual hitting isn’t love, it’s a walking red flag parade.

[Asker]

What if she slapped him for calling her a bitch, slut, and abused her verbally and emotionally constantly?

[Summeroflove]

Seems like a constant cycle of wrong. Someone needs to leave the relationship by that point. It’s illegal to hit someone and it’s illegal if you don’t use reasonable force

[OlderAndWiser]

She has no right to slap him and her violence towards him is never justified if she is the one initiating the violence. If she doesn't like what he is doing, how he is treating her. . . she should leave him.

If she slaps him, he is entitled to defend himself with enough force to stop her from attaching him again. It is called self-defense.

If you started it by slapping him, you really aren't entitled to complain about how he responded.

[SueShe]

Hitting someone is never a right. Whether a guy hits a girl or a girl hits a guy or whether it is a parent hitting a child.

Whoever considers it to be right to hit someone lacks the most basic knowledge of what is right from what is wrong. That is the same person that is likely to become a criminal later in life. There are other ways to express your frustration than hitting. That is a huge red flag and just indicates that the one wanting to hit back is just as much in the wrong as the one hitting first.

[jahaims]

What if someone was stopping an entire orphanage from being murdered. Is hitting okay then? What if someone breaks into your house? "Hitting someone is never a right" absolute statements are rarely true.

[Kiss_Me]

It conditional... The intention of an open handed slap to a man's face is to communicate in no uncertain terms that he did something ungentlemanly.

However... *** IF *** it becomes more than a single slap, such as a punch with closed fist things change. Using a closed fist, or punching ANYONE, including a man, is an attack. Everyone, including a man vs a women should be expected to defend themselves. At that point it becomes a matter of genetics. Generally, men are bigger and stronger that women, so it would be very unwise for a women to invoke a physical response from a man.

Also... A man's response should be to stop the attack. When a man is defending himself against a woman, beating her to a pulp because he feels she had the mitigating gall to punch him is unacceptable.

[Summeroflove]

This is a good question a person has the right to self defense meaning if he believes she’s going to hit him again he can use reasonable force to stop a threat. Does that mean he can slam her on the floor and beat her unconscious? No it doesn’t.

The best thing to do is if you want to press the issue make an assault report. Let the police deal with it. She’s not worth going to jail for. But if you can hit back depends on the threat level.

If she slaps you and walks away she isn’t a threat anymore. But you can still file charges.

This is what gets people in fights as well. Someone hits someone and walks off not being a threat. They get chased down and severely injured. Guess who’s getting criminal charges?

[msc545]

Men have absolutely no right to self-defense against women in the United States. If a woman does hit you and you make a police report or hit her back, the police who take the report are more likely than not going to arrest you, not the woman, and you will be charged, not the woman. Never involve the police in these things. Never hit anyone. Just get away from the situation and don't ever come back to it.

[Levin]

That depends if it's a genuine self defense situation. Some women can be very dangerous, ie there was a video I saw not long ago of some woman throwing stuff at her guy, with the child not far away. Of course, any guy could take her out in two seconds, like a swotted fly, with a swift punch. But then of course, you're the one in trouble with the police.

I think I would rather remove myself from the situation, get my stuff, and end the relationship.

[Kelley1]

It depends on the differences or degree of inequality. A grown man doesn't have the right to hit back if it is a 6-year-old girl. A football player doesn't have the right to hit back if it is a frail 80-year-old woman. However, if he dares, a wimp has the right to hit back after being slapped by Sophie Cunningham.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Morally speaking, no.

To me, a slap doesn't mean the same thing when it comes from a woman and when it comes from a man. Symbolical, historical, and societal difference here.

Legally speaking, no idea.

Plus, it will depend on each local law. There's hundreds of them around the world. Too much work lol.

[loveslongnails]

Unless it's life threatening, if a man can't handle a slap from his girlfriend, he's not much of a man. You have no "right" to retaliate unless you're defending yourself from real harm. A better question is what sort of behavior warranted a violent response from your girlfriend, and is that a red flag no matter what or is she justified?

[Theunfadeable]

Being hit? Doesn’t give you the legal right to hit someone else but what’s a woman initiates violence against a man she steps out of the shoes of a lady into the shoes of the man and weighs any right to any protection a lady would receive. I don’t believe in hitting a lady, but I got zero problem with a violet, toxic woman getting her ass beat.

[msc545]

Yup, my friend, and that's a violent, toxic woman. She calls the cops. You are going to be the one who goes to jail, no matter what she did to start it.

[Theunfadeable]

@msc545 that’s what everybody says but that’s not true if you get the evidence. I’ve seen Karen‘s on camera getting hit back for attacking people then immediately getting arrested because it was all on camera

[msc545]

The thing you have seen on camera is staged, and it's all actors. Try this in real life and see what happens. I promise you, you will go to jail.

[exitseven]

a lot of people on this site say that it is. When I first joined GaG one of the first questions I asked was it is okay to hit a girl. There were many people that said it was okay. Some of them were women.

I still say that you never hit a woman.

[Summeroflove]

You can use reasonable force to stop someone from harming you. Even if she deserves to be hit back if she isn’t a threat or you get her to stop hitting you and you keep beating on her. That stops being reasonable.

[msc545]

He certainly does have that right. Keep in mind that if he does that, that will probably be the end of the relationship. He may get beat up by other men who witness this, and, worst of all, somebody may call the police. In which case he will absolutely get arrested and be charged with assault. The woman will never be charged with anything, no matter how badly she injures him.

[indissoluble]

Everyone has a right to self-defense. If you get violent and are physically abusive the other person can hit you back to get out of the situation.

[OneViewpoint]

Yup. XX chromosomes don't give you any special immunity from Karma. See Karen swing. See Karen hit the floor. Oh look, Karen has discovered action and consequence.

[bowenw]

No unless she has lost it and is uncontrollably slapping him. If that is the case, he should first try to get away or subdue her. Fighting back should be a last resort only.

[Anpu23]

No, he does have the right to leave and never come back though. Violence in a relationship starts with just one slap and compounds from there.

[Nikki1989]

Violence is never an appropriate response.

[Miristheiss]

The "right"?

Are you implying it was her "right" to hit him?

[Dargil]

It has a lot to do with the back story. If he does retaliate, it must be in the same form that she started it. A slap for a slap.

[Staximus]

I wouldn’t call it a right. When anybody hits somebody, they should expect to be hit back. If a woman slapped me I would not hit her back, though.

[RavVid]

He has the right to spank her hard. There has to be consequences.

[glennos89]

Ofcourse he does! If you can fight like a man you should be able to take punches like a man

[Hunter-40m]

No I think he should try to comfort her and prevent her further attempts just by holding her hands

[g123hi]

yes. she’s aware of her boyfriends strength and has somewhat awareness of his reactions towards certain situations. if she makes the decision to slap him, she knows it’s coming back at her. don’t do things to others you cannot handle in return.

[Iron_Man]

Don’t do that you don’t know what the guy’s gonna do it’s not a free pass for you women because you don’t know what’s gonna happen

[Iron_Man]

You can get a very angry guy if you do that

[Hanrej]

Did she have the right to slap him? I think you'll find that people will do things weather they're entitled to or not.

[Anonymous]

Kinky foreplay? 🫦👀😏

Or will smith Chris Brown 2022 slapping?

"Oh, wow" ©️

[Opinion Owner]

🤭😨

[Godihateyou]

I'd slap the dog shit out of her and then slap the dog shit out of her father for raising a stupid bitch

[Anonymous]

Nobody should be putting their hands on anybody regardless of the gender

[RCONFIGURATION1]

Yes because he has a right to defend himself

[Danny_dan92]

Depends on the context

[CriminallyInsane]

What? You want people to give enough information to actually make it so you can give them a real answer? Where do you think you are?

[Danny_dan92]

Sorry I don’t know what you mean

[Anonymous]

Equal rights mean equal lefts.

[Ivyravegirl]

Yes and no, so no right answer

[Anonymous]

No, at least he should know how to behave.

[AgentG111]

Equal rights?

[jahaims]

Duh.

[TonyMetal___86]

Yes for sure!

[In_Trance]

sure does

[dougeats]

not at all

[fish5505_87]

No, he does not.