My boyfriend gets upset because I had swimsuit photos on fb

[Anonymous]

I want opinion of other men. anyway he got furious because I had my modelling photos up and also when guys say stuff like "hey babe, hey hun.

he said don't respond. don't comment back he was even mad because I had over a thousand people in my list even though I told him that they are photographers and people I worked it while I was doing acting.

On my birthday some of my male friends commented and said stuff like happy birthday babe, happy birthday beautiful and he got so angry and ruined my birthday complaining about he hates that and how Facebook cause doubts in relationships.

Is this normal, or is this a sign of him being a control freak

[TheUglyOne]

I wouldn't say control freak, more like some insecurity. LOL, so many guys fantasize about dating models or actresses, but time and time again when I know of guys who actually do, they get very jealous and insecure when she has pictures in lingerie or underwear or bikinis in public and other men ogle over them. I want to say (and I do to the guys I know personally doing this) to them "chill, dude, she's with you, she wants to be with you, all they can do is look pathetically at her pics, you get to touch, hold, and make love to her, so chill!". I don't think many men are ready for the baggage that comes with dating models or actresses lol.

Sit down with him, tell him this comes with the territory in your line of work. You are not doing anything wrong, you are promoting yourself on physical attraction, which is definitely what a model needs to do, and to a large extent, even actors/actresses. But also reassure him that he is your man, you do love him, and of all the men out there, you picked him over all others. That addresses the root of his insecurity; that one day, you'll leave him for another man. But at the end of the day, this is your dream, your life, he needs to either come to terms with it, or leave if he can't handle it.

[Asker]

i do all of that. He knows I love him. He knows I don't sleep around. He knows he is the only one but he's crazy. Facebook isn't the only thing. He is like no male friends. No social networking sites. He even gets mad because I pay attention to American politics, he is from Europe, he is like why the f*** are you watching that stupid sh*t. I love him but its getting too much

[TheUglyOne]

Controlling behavior, likely driven by underlying insecurity. You will have to decide how much you want to put up with. I wouldn't put up with any of that, I'd never do that to a woman I am with, I never had to, and as it turns out so far, I have never been cheated on. Trust can be an amazing thing. He should try it once in his life.

[Godsoutlaw]

All of his behavior is from the fact you showed photos to the world to lust after at least that's whats on his mind no matter how much is justified to him your telling other men that your available,

[kholland65]

It's partially normal. Having 1000 friends and keeping photos up of your modeling is OK (as long as they don't illicit undo attention).

However, having other guys call you babe and beautiful cross the line a bit. Granted its not really something you can control, but it's perfectly understandable for him to be upset. I would be too. Look at it from his perspective. He knows that these guys are drooling over you. How would you like it if a bunch of girl came up to him and started calling him babe and handsome?

I'm going to be honest though, while you may deny it, we both know you enjoy the attention. There is no other reason you would have 1000 FB friends and even have swim suit modeling photos on your FB. My advice would be to defriend the guys who you aren't really close with and are also making advances on you via FB.

[Asker]

I deleted the account.

[kholland65]

Well that solves that problem then doesn't it.

[Asker]

In a way, he still goes off on his rants when I dress up. He is like, are you gonna wear that? why do you have to dress up, don't you get enough attention as it is? I am like didn't you meet me when I was hot, wtf is the problem now

[kholland65]

I can sort of understand his point of view. He's just jealous. Most guys are thinking the exact same thing, your Boyfriend just so happens to be voicing it. Guys are territorial and we know how other guys are. To us its like sending you into the lions cage with steak strapped to your chest. We're not a fan. I'm not necessarily saying he's right. What it sounds like you need to do is address is jealousy directly and not worry so much about the specifics of how it manifests itself, like your outfits.

[kholland65]

You need to reasure him that you love him and that you are not going anymore. Compliment him, do things for him, tell him you love him. Things like that will make him feel more secure in the relationship. When he feels like there is no chance of you leaving him, he'll be much more comfortable will you receiving attention from other guys, within reason of course.

[roshniharish]

He just loves you so much and doesn't want other to see you in a bad way in another words he is a bit over possessive about u

[Godsoutlaw]

Its not a question of jealious or insecure, but if it were then its justified, he's probably like a host of other concerned men and women acrossed the globe read of the many marriages and relationships that are broken because of someone's vanity, He sounds like a nice guy that doesn't post his photos because of his love and respect he has for you, is it to much for you to grant him the same respect from you? or are you just trying to garner support for displaying your half naked body before strangers? he has a right to be concerned because in his eyes your telling people your available

[jacquesvol]

This is a sign of him being a jealous guy. Control freak or narrow minded? Up to you to know, by asking him his opinion about "which girls are sluts."

Similar question here: link

[Asker]

omg. its the same thing

[Godsoutlaw]

Not a question of control freak i hate hearing those labels because of a man not wanting his lady to display herself as half naked before the world to lust after, he's got a right to be concerned even if it were a question of insecurity then its more justified than the one who provoked it to begin with, it will be no surprise if he leaves her and finds someone else that will respect his concerns without stereotyping him as controlling

[jacquesvol]

@Godsoutlaw Does he own her?

[Godsoutlaw]

Not a question of ownership, but a question of morals or consideration of someone she is with and how he feels, of course social media is the cause as anyone knows has caused the divorce rates to go through the roof, so there is countless cause for alarm but people always wrap someone's concerns up in the blanket of insecurity and being controling so as to not to be burdened with a conscience, i pray the man gets peace of mind, and she considers who's compliments she values most, that of her boyfriend or those from strangers? To post of one half naked is asking for trouble, men may lust such a person, but to trust one is another question.
Who can find a virtuous woman? the heart of her husband doeth safely trusteth in her.
Proverbs 31:10...

[Anonymous]

He's an insecure jealous guy - he'd probably like to be a control freak, but lacks the balls.

[Godsoutlaw]

No he's most likely read of the many relations8 tga