I thought no contact was supposed to get EASIER

[jaime76]

I swear I feel like I am going BACKWARDS, not forward. I am such a strong person in life, but why did this break up affect me so horribly? Truth be told, my ex is not worth crying over. I KNOW THIS. I have a career, he works part time. I own a home, he lives with friends. I have a vehicle, he doesn't have a license. He is a commitment phobe and I love closeness. THEN WHY AM I HAVING SUCH A HARD TIME? He said he wants to FOCUS on getting his life in order and I feel like screaming, "YOU ARE 35 YEARS OLD AND YOU THINK BY ENDING A RELATIONSHIP WITH A WOMAN WHO HAS HER SH*T TOGETHER THAT THIS WILL HELP YOU!" Sorry, I am having a bad day...Why is no contact not working for me? :(

[tdsianac]

Breaking up is never easy. You have a lot of memories and questions. But, remember that the healthy thing is to move ahead with your own life. Look for the better replacement... Especially if you weren't the one who broke it off. I got divorced and was told it would take about two years for the feelings of the divorce to go away. I thought that was a load of BS, but it was basically true. I'd lie awake going over all these scenarios, past conversations, what did and didn't happen, etc. Then I came to the realization that I was losing out on my present moments and my new partner opportunities. My feeling is that you should let it go and look around for a guy who is out there thinking, "I wish I could find this woman that would make me happy" - and you're her!

[standUP]

Yes this is tough honey, It is suppose to hurt. you are in the pleading part of grieving process trying to rationalize the craziness.

This is good your are going through the right process by the NO CONTACT. It will not help you recover by talking to him you are almost to the point of the next step of the process closer and closer to being mad which sounds like it's starting then acceptance..

Keep it going girl you are doing great.

You are amazing always remember that and what you just wrote. praying for ya girl :),

[Anonymous]

How long have you been doing no contact? It does always gets easier, but sometimes we take a step backwards and it makes us feel like there was no progress at all. When my ex dumped me I struggled for a whole year (although most of the time we had contact) and I remember saying to my friend "I feel as sh*t as I did the day after he dumped me" - even though I'd been feeling relatively good a week before that. There are ups and downs, and sometimes it does suddenly feel like you've been thrown way back. Hang in there, it will get better!

[jaime76]

Three weeks I have NEVER EVER initiated contact, but he has four times and one time it resulted in him sleeping over (last week). :( I KNOW I shouldn't have done it. He sent me Happy Easter on Sunday and I simply responded You TOO. He wants to be friends, but agrees it is too hard because of emotions.

[Opinion Owner]

Three weeks is nothing! I know this may not sound very motivating right now but I think it takes longer than three weeks for it to get easier. Like I said, just hang in there. Maybe you can block him for a while so as not to get tempted to respond. My ex was in contact with me daily for a while, until he found someone else and ignored me. The way I see it is if a guy doesn't want you as a girlfriend, he has no right to have you as a friend.

[Anonymous]

Im so sorry this guys doing this to you, Hun. I think he's giving you the most lamest excuse possible. I've done the no contact rule upon breaking up and the timeline for the other person calling you back varioes. It might be two weeks, it might be two years. But, 9 times out of 10, eventually they will call you back, for whatever reason. How long has it been since no contact?

[jaime76]

You ready for this. Its been three weeks break and and he initiated contact 4 times. ONE time being the time he asked to "talk" and he came over and we had sex and he SLEPT OVER. BAD IDEA. Set me back BIG TIME. This was last Monday. When I was driving him to the train (because he has no car mind you) I told him I couldn't be his FRIEND because it was too emotional. He AGREED and started bringing up old memories and stuff in the car. I was crying

[Opinion Owner]

yeah I've been down that road before he wanting the milk but doesn't want to pay for the cow(if yoll pardon the expression). Looking for sex without all the things that go along with commitment. that's why he wants to be friends. I think you should go out with this other guy that sounds nice, all it is is a date, doesn't mean you want to marry him.

[miles55]

It is very hard. I feel the exact same thing. but they say its OK to feel this way and frustrated. Its a part of the healing process

[Anonymous]

It's not working for you because you are a human female in her 30's. When a woman is in her 30's she feels a lot of added pressure to be married, or at least living with a committed boyfriend.

To get over this pain you must find a new man to replace the one you lost.

You have a job, car, and your own place, so going online of networking should get you a man pretty soon, then you will be over this guy.

[jaime76]

I met a nice handsome man on Friday evening and he is what I SHOULD be dating. Handsome, was in airforce and retired two years ago, owns his own trucking business, respectful, good father...asked me on a date...WHY DONT I WANT TO GO? :(

[Cryostatic]

You don't want to go because you're still having a hard time dealing with this. Your ex didn't leave you because he needs to get his sh*t together, he left you because he doesn't want to be with you anymore. Until you accept that, it's going to be hard for you to move on.

[jaime76]

I know he doesn't want to be with me anymore. I knew his exchse was lame. He pushed the friends thing way too quick. He wanted me on his own terms with no ties.

[Someone1]

Because he is the opposite reflection of you, your ultimate shadow. He completes you just like Batman completes The Joker (I know weird anology) But you get the point..hehe :p You need each other.

[jaime76]

The last time I saw him he kept stoking my hair and saying I hate you so much Jane. Then h would kiss me and say...I just can't stand u. Wtf

[Someone1]

Hmm weird...well you know what's best for you, just don't let him play you too much. Tell him he need to decide if he wants your or not.

[Anonymous]

It's really tough to go through this but you have get yourself together, keep your head up high and stay strong for yourself. You will get through this eventually and realize it's not that hard after all. It's just some sh*t-happen in life.

[Anonymous]

No contact doesn't make it EASY, it makes it EFFECTIVE.

Hurt still hurts, nothing's going to fix that but time and a new boyfriend.

[allen246]

Yara the hard times to get to the good ones hang in there we're out there

[MoonshineMooCow]

It is always hard :(