He's signed onto Facebook, hasn't opened my message, hasn't replied. Bad sign?

[Anonymous]

I'm going to take that as a bad sign. I messaged him 24 hrs ago. He's obviously seen he has a message waiting. Right? My phone shows the person's last activity... so how long ago they were online. He was online after I messaged him and then 4 hrs ago also. He never replied... never opened my message...

Maybe it's not that bad?

I just asked how he was doing and how he's liking this city since he moved here recently. It was just a friendly message... I mean, I was going to lead up to the "to you want to grab a drink" message, but I wasn't there yet. I really like him! Blah :(. My last day of work with him was last week. We don't have the same shift this week and I have two days left.

I'm so bummed. Should I take this as a pretty bad sign?

[Anonymous]

It sounds like he just hasn't gotten to it yet. There's even a small chance Facebook could've glitched up and not highlighted the fact that he has a new message (it's happened to me before).

If he sees it and doesn't reply, then that might be a bad sign. If he hasn't even seen it yet, it sounds like you're completely fine. Doesn't seem to be any reason for him to not at least read/open the message, if for nothing other than getting the new message alert to go away. Hope he replies soon. :)

[Asker]

Maybe he's seen he has a message, but hasn't had the time to reply? Idk, I guess I am one of those people where sometimes I get a message, but if I'm not around my computer I don't like to respond yet? :( Blah. Yeah, if he sees it and never replies I'd definitely take that as a bad sign! I hope he does reply. I guess I'm being a tad dramatic. It's been 24 hrs! ha. I just really like him... like butterflies in the tummy like him! I worked up the nerve to message him! :/

[Opinion Owner]

I get the whole butterflies thing, trust me. If he doesn't even bother reading it at some point, perhaps try messaging one more time (maybe give him one more day or so?). If he doesn't reply to that one, then you may deserve better.

If he's on your friend list, maybe message him when it says he's online? It'll most likely make his chat box pop up if you do, unless he's one of those people that keeps chat off. If it's on, it should make it more obvious that you messaged him.

[Asker]

Yes! It still happens at 24! I guess I'll try again in a week if he never opens it and replies. I start a new job on Monday so I won't really be seeing him.

I am friends with him on fb. I'm surprised he added me if he didn't think anything of me? Unless he did? I don't know he's very shy... my coworkers call him the awkward shy doctor. Oh, we work in the ER by the way so I know he is busy. He definitely doesn't use chat, kind of dislikes fb, hardly checks it? :/ Idk, never writes on it or anything it appears.

[Asker]

He eventually replied a nice long response to the first message I sent by the way. However, I wrote him back and he read it last night and never replied :/. It was longer though... mostly because he asked q's and said a lot I wanted to reply to. It was two paragraphs. My friends said I wrote too much and I am to blame if he never writes me back. :( He sounded really nice in the first one though! Even ended on a question. I don't know. It hasn't been 24 hrs so maybe I shouldn't worry.

[Opinion Owner]

Ah, he might still reply. I do that sometimes, too, though (write responses I realize are way too long).

But hey, he ended up replying to the last one awhile after originally seeing it, so maybe it's just his thing. :)

I don't you've driven him away.

Haha. You now have me thinking about someone who read my message last Monday and hasn't replied. She ended her message on a question, too. I did the same as you. I might do what I'm about to advise you do.

[Opinion Owner]

Just shoot him a shorter message in a few days if he hasn't replied. Asking how things are or something.

[Asker]

hahahaha oh funny we are in the same situation! Ugh, I'm feeling so embarrassed! To think I thought I had a chance with him! Even worse, I'm still on staff at my old job where he works and I have the weekend open if I'd like to make an extra $300. Rawr. See him and have it suck or make $300 extra? I could work Saturday and make 150... maybe I'll skip Sunday. I just feel so stupid! haha. I probably won't re-write him for weeks knowing me... if that happens. He does hate fb so maybe he's waiting?

[AmongTheApples]

No. You're fine.

[Asker]

I feel like I've just been completely shut down! :/.

[AmongTheApples]

Nope. Don't panic. Stay confident. This kind of stuff is common, especially if he's also 18-24.

[AmongTheApples]

It doesn't indicate anything. As long as he replies and he replies well, that's the only thing that matters. A lot of men and women between the ages of 18-24 have it in their head that they should come off as somewhat busy (which is stupid and counterproductive for the reasons over which you are worrying, but it is what is). Just try and remain calm.

[Asker]

He's 29... but he's also a doctor in the ER. I'm 24. Ok, I won't give up yet.

[AmongTheApples]

It's still, sadly, a common thing for people to think and do. And, if he's a doctor that works in an ER, he may genuinely be busy. I understand your panic, but as long as he replies and replies well, that's the only thing that matters.

[Asker]

Yeah, that's true. Guess I was just a little upset he'd been online and never replied at all. He is very busy... and I know for a fact that he's very shy. My coworkers think he's the awkward shy guy who never talks to anyone lol.

[AmongTheApples]

I'd recommend that wait and not message him again for a while. Even if he sees it, he might just be thinking about how to reply. If he's online then that might OK, but I'd recommend that you leave things alone for a little while, at least two weeks.

[Asker]

hmmm okay, sounds good. He hasn't seen it yet so I think there's hope?

[AmongTheApples]

Yes, there's hope. Don't conclude anything yet, even if he does see it and doesn't reply right away because he might be thinking about what to say.

[Asker]

Well he replied! At 2:15 am! haha.

[AmongTheApples]

Then I'd say that I was right, and you definitely have a chance :)

[Asker]

Thanks! He actually wrote quite the little novel! He didn't just answer the q's. He elaborated on them too :). He also asked me a question at the end. It was actually kind of a funny flirty question! He just asked what the nurses said about him when he's not around to hear it haha.

[AmongTheApples]

Awesome! All of that is a very good sign :)

[Asker]

Good! I'm so glad you think so! :) I wrote him back, but I decided to forgo asking him for a drink just yet. I'm thinking maybe the next message? I mean, just to grab a drink... talk about where he's been and then maybe suggest some places we could go visit together? I think that's my plan. Also, I decided to pick up one last day at work tomorrow. He works 9-6 am and I work 12-9. So I might see him! Maybe!

[Cherry_Berry]

I do that sometimes too... dont open a message from a guy I like because I need a little space.
Sometimes, because he did something etc.

[Socialyawkwarddave]

@Cherry_Berry i have a question regarding this. So are you like aggited due to him if you want space or does it really have nothing to do with the guy. I mean does he get "lower rank" in your eyes for annoying you?

[beerids]

The guy I like hasn't replied in almost a week, we've had many conversations before and sent 'x' to each other but I feel like I've been shut down? is that true

[Anonymous]

Well, I know that people have told me that I was online even though I never really was. I'm logged into Facebook through my phone so it almost always says I'm online even if I don't actually go to the app for days.

I wouldn't jump to conclusions yet. If a few more days pass and he still doesn't respond, then you can chalk it up as a loss.

[Asker]

Huh, good point. He wrote me back this morning at like 2:15 am! :)

[Opinion Owner]

lol well there ya go! : )

[Asker]

hahaha one step closer to asking for a date ha

[Opinion Owner]

lol exactly

[sallyalex]

Omg please tell me you went on a date with him!!

[Anonymous]

Sure seems like he´s not interested.