We're both in our 40s but I'm still waiting for such presents and he knows it. Should I talk to him?
1 mo
My boyfriend didn't get me anything for Valentine's day. If he does the same this year, do you think I should question our relationship?
I wouldn't necessarily question your relationship. However I would address the issue in a slightly round-about way. If you confront the situation straight on it may become awkward because if he then does get you something then it could be simply because you confronted him but not because he actually had the desire to do it.
If on the other hand you insinuate what you'd like in a way that is obvious but not confrontational then one of two things will happen: he'll get you something and maybe you chalk last year up as a blip or he'll not get you anything at which point you have two more issues - either he's kind of dimwitted (and you have to maybe confront him after-the-fact about it and then possibly question your relationship) or he has a side-gig that he's getting presents for (this is a more complicated situation).
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No. If you have a good relationship why rock the boat? Besides this is just another holiday made for stores to drain money out of you. Valentines Day should be everyday showing you and you showing him you care. And that can be done in different ways not just buying stuff. Like taking you out or Netflix and chill spending time. Look at all the holidays, every single one requires money.. holidays are a money grabber to get customers in the door. It’s fun to participate but if you don’t, do not feel guilty.
Well, if he's a kind person to you, and you have a very stable relationship, I don't think material things exactly matter. If he treats you in other ways outside of V-Day gifts, that is also fine. I also think that you do deserve at least something. Like perhaps, a box of chocolates, a gift, anything. However, I think that it's very unlikely that he's going to do anything and it'll feel forced if you tell him. What you should do on the other hand is not get him anything if you normally do for the simple reason that he does not get you anything. There are obviously other factors that play into questioning your relationship. Just, think about how you are treated by him, how you feel, and if you are happy with him.
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Hmmm if it matters to you I do think that you should talk to him about it. Why would you let him do something that upsets you? Communication is one of the keys for a successful relationship/marriage. If you feel like you need to think before voicing out something to your partner, it shows that you are not completely comfortable with him. Something is off here. I don’t mind not getting anything because for my fiancè and me, everyday is a Valentine’s day lol. Also he has spoiled me a lot on daily basis.
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No you should not question your relationship. You should question your communication skills. Yes you should talk to him. You say "he knows" that you're "waiting for such presents". Did you tell him? Part of the problem with Valentine's Day is that there such a mis-match of expectations about the day. The day might (clearly) not mean much to him. So, it's up to you to clearly and non-judgmentally explain what it means to you. If he understands that and still chooses to not value what you value, then you should start to question the relationship.
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Not necessarily some people don't think of gifts as part of Valentines. I grew up thinking all you did was cards and nothing else, it wasn't until I met a guy who was like, we are suppose to exchange gifts for Valentines just like Christmas.
I was like, oh okay, that is new to me.
I thought it was all about cards, making out and having sex.
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Some people just aren't into Valentine's Day. I for one, am like that. To me it is just a day that says that "romantic couples are supposed to do this" and there is no basis to it. Just my opinion and I know others might feel different.
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Gifts / presents don't matter. It's the little everyday things that go unnoticed that matter.
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If you are in your mid-40's, why do you need to ask this question? You already know the answer.
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The real question is: Is he a good partner to you during the year?
If yes, then what is the issue? Maybe he doesn't really care about Valentine's day as you do. What matters is if he is a good partner throughout your relationship. So what if he misses Valentine's day. As long as he is a good partner, that's all it matters. Unless he is a good person to you throughout the year, you would be incredibly selfish and shallow to be questioning the relationship simply because he isn't getting you something for 1 day out of 365.
And getting presents should come from the heart, not because you nagged him to give them to you.
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Girl, do not, I repeat, do not have that discussion you are thinking of having. It will only make some big waves in your relationship.
Secondly, don't even buy him anything or do anything for him for Valentine's day!!!
He chose not to celebrate it with you last year, and he's more than likely going to skip it this time.
I know it hurts terribly to not get even a card for Valentine's day. I had it done to me as well and so did my brother. Both of these people didn't really love us and the relationships ended.
Let him sit and twiddle his thumbs waiting for a surprise from you and you can laugh all day knowing you didn't get him zip for Valentine's day.
If he mentions it's Valentine's day, just look real surprised and say something like "Oh, it's Valentine's day today? I had no idea"! And just smile.
In my opinion he should be sending you flowers from a florist, take you out to dinner, buy you a card, and but you chocolates! Period! -
No don’t tell him anything I don’t really like it when it’s forced will you be happy if he buys you something because you told him? It’s forced right.. it feels creepy ! I think your boyfriend is not a gentleman sorry to say this. It doesn’t truly seems like he is the perfect one for you. He might be right one if he loves you but not perfect like the one you dream as in like a man who treats you nicely and shares his love easily.
Is he poor? Does he work? Is he like this in other departments? Does he treat you once in a while? Vacations? Something? Do you feel cared from him? If not then yeah that mother F ain’t a gentlemen 😒
How about this Valentine’s Day you buy him something. It doesn’t have to be Male to Female in some European countries and Asia women can gift something to their man. You can try this and see what happens
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So he didn't get you anything last year and so what if he doesn't this year either. You like pretty much all females put a dollar sign on a man's worth as well as your relationship. Valentine's day should be renamed to Spend on your Gold Digger day, everything they advertise for guys to get females for a gift gets a price mark up, so they can put it on "sale" for regular full price and cheat guys into thinking it's a deal and what do they do for guys, well for starters girts for guys actually go on sale and it's always items that aren't pricey to begin with and most of the time they won't even have an advertisement for gifts for guys and most females these days consider themselves the gift and refuse to get anything for their guy but expect the guy to get them a gift. Guarantee that you don't give him good or thoughtful gifts but expect it of him.
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Some comments here are phrased harshly but they do make a point.
I sure hope that in your 40's you managed to learn the fundamental skill of communication. And yes I know a lot of people never learn it but it's not too late.
So yes. You should talk to him, don't wait on him to guess what you want, just tell him and see if or not he complies. -
Why does any female botger with a 'boyfriend'?
First of all, only a virgin is a boy. If you are also a virgin rhen I'd understand.
But, unless you have engaged to marry - if he is _only_ a friend who is a boy - then he won't get you anything romantic or marriage intention symbolising/showing - because first you must engage to marry (e. g. to talk about living together, pregnancy/pregnancies, etc).
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Depends, does he get you things throughout the year, that easily compensates for missing Valentine's Day.
I would make a deal with my SO to get her things throughout the year, if we could bypass Valentine's Day.
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One of the women I'm with (I'm poly) loves Valentines day and apparently is planning some over the top thing, while the other has made a point that she does not care one bit about it... sad thing is it's the one who doesn't buy into it who I want to do something with
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did you get him anything last year, except for sex?
if he Forgets again, question Who He Is giving Valentines Day gifts to. Especially if he is in his 40's.. -
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Assume you’ll get nothing this year. Does he need to buy on Valentine’s Day so the shops make a killing? Does he not show you he cares and loves you other days of the year?
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My wife and I agreed not to celebrate Hallmark day years ago. Corporations don't just get to declare national holidays to prop up a slow profit month in their sector.
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He better remember and bring you a cute gift. I mean you have a reason to question this relationship.
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Why does it have to be one day where someone HAS to get something? If he shows you love and affection all year then Valentine's Day shouldn't matter. People shouldn't expect anything on V-day 😒
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If he makes his love for you feel other days of the year, it's not worth questioning your relationship for a silly Valentine's Day.
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