How should I give my ex boyfriend his stuff back? (I want him back)

Question

Keep in mind that I still miss him and want him back. We ended our relationship peacefully.

Should I deliver his stuff to him personally? Tell him that he can come get his stuff whenever? Let one of his friends take his stuff to him? Leave his stuff outside of his door/at his job?

involved6 · Accepted Answer

If he's single, B is the clear winner. It puts you on your home turf. The trick is sounding disinterested enough to get him to wonder why, but not so disinterested that he doesn't think you have any interest at all.

Sexy attire and action without being obvious and transparent is the key. For example, clothes where your breasts are pretty well highlighted (or better could just "fall out by accident", or he gets a quick, "accidental" flash) and other things along those lines will really help your case.

All I can say is that this would work on me. I would already be a little curious why you had invited me over, but seeing parts of your body again that I might miss would help me make the decision that I might want to try again...

I must warn you, though, I can't speak for your ex, as I don't know his sex drive or your level of activity in the relationship, but the best way to a man's heart is through his pants, and that hold true for a good majority of guys.

Snorkledorf · Accepted Answer

If you want him back, then C and D are going in the wrong direction. C is leaving it up to some random third party, and if it were me, D would strongly imply that you actively want to avoid meeting and just want to get the stuff away from you ASAP.

So A or B. With A you'll taking the initiative to give his stuff back/end things. B at least means he takes the action of coming back into your domain where presumably he has some fond memories. And judging by your pictures, involved6's advice actually seems pretty solid. If he can ignore that, then it's like, "Dude, are you stupid?" :)

audreymarie21 · Accepted Answer

i chose A

option B has the most votes, but here's some reasons that one isn't the best choice -

he may not find his belongings that important and not even come to get them

he may put off coming to get them for months

he might show up sometime while you're not home

he might show up with a friend and just run in and leave

if he shows up by himself and doesn't feel like talking he can just leave

so the reason I chose option A is because you can talk to him, and he has to sit there and talk to you, he can't leave, unless he's a jerk and left anyways. he sees you in person, bringing back feelings. by bring him his things it's a nice gesture you're doing, he'll most likely notice.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I thought guys separate sex & feelings {I do don't believe this but it is presented as a supposed credible argument to the point where every time I think of a guy I have this flash of words strung across the front of my mind.. "Why does she think there is something between us, we just had sex-- NO big deal.

So, if guys separate love & sex & give love just to get sex, then why would sex be a "way to a mans heart"?

It's more like the way to a a womans heart believing she has a way to your heart - which coincidentally gets guys sex.

How can sex be sex for sex sake, & simultaneously be the path to the heart?

Please explain.

lilmama · Accepted Answer

If doing it it person would be too emotional then I would either mail/drop it off at his home or work.

telitasitis · Answer

Even if it is C or D and you do want him back, what matters is does he want you back. It does not matter which way you chose, once it is done in respect and you maintain your value and dignity.

I mailed my ex his stuff after he broke up with me because that way worked for "me". It is not about "us" anymore You have to do what helps you heal through this heart break. The item he had for me I asked him to mail it to me because I need time to heal and seeing him would not help. He showed up at my house to drop it off. I told him I asked you to mail it, his response was "you don't want me coming by anymore?" My response quietly "You know why", and turned away and went inside.

I do love him and deeply. This he knows. It was about my heart and the hurt I am feeling and not have remorse for choosing how I get his stuff to him once I do it with the utmost respect and dignity.

It was all about "us" before it ended so why make accommodation to get his stuff to him. Just get it to him if it matters.

John-Bee · Answer

I chose "B" even though I thought about "A"

Either way you can tell him A or B and say something like if you really want to end this I can drop your belonging over & maybe have a chance to talk or B when/if he picks up his belongings say the same thing here is your belongings do you really want to end this.

I hate the saying "the balls in his court" because that gives control to the other person. You ALWAYS ALWAYS want to be in control The ball to be in YOUR court. The basketball player at the free throw line (your in control why would you want the other team/person to be in control? The pitcher whom must strike out the last batter, the hockey player with the puck on his stick. I'm sure you get the idea.

That's not to say compromise in life but in this situation if you really want him back or to give it another try KEEP THE BALL IN YOUR COURT.

onewithana · Answer

I would maybe mention that you still have it, and see what he replies. :] Don't offer to give it back**

Ceesa · Answer

if you want him back he should know that you're not that desperate..send it to his place " not to him directly " he'll have it back without sensing desperation..if he wants you back he'll let you know..be cool \ fun & friendly around him!

Hughman · Answer

You want him to come to you. Any rekindled relationship will be much healthier as a result. So B or E.

l-hedoniste · Answer

It doesn't matter much, really, as long as your civil. Do what's convenient to you both.

love1210 · Answer

its really up to you.  but I chose A. just make sure you do it with confidence

Enideqa · Answer

I think ask if he would like you to drop it off or if he would like to come and pick it up.

emzy-89 · Answer

tell him you have his stuff and he can pick it up whenever.

ash655 · Answer

I would just leave it as his door.

How should I give my ex boyfriend his stuff back? (I want him back)

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