After second date, he wants to be friends.

he's not interested in dating you. sorry.

"no contact" won't miraculously change his mind. in fact, what you describe is more accurately called "silent treatment."

move on. you'll only torture yourself.

"I sensed 'ex girlfriend alert'..."

What does that mean?

Hey, I can feel ur confusion from the description of events. I reckon it could be one of two things going on with this guy.

1. He has low self-esteem.
2. He knows exactly what he is doing and is very good at picking up women (because he seems to have you thinking about him all the time)

Either way, go date some other guys. If he does have low self-esteem then he is the only one who can help himself, you cannot fix him. If he is a playa, then you not waiting around will increase ur attractiveness in his eyes.

My 2 cents

I'd rather give you the advice of Cerebralcaustic, to make things less complicated. :) Find another guy. :)

well, I think he means what he said. Obviously he has self esteem problems, failing at things, looking at himself as a failure. I felt the same before, maybe you could help him change. :) He is afraid and he also doesn't want you to get hanged.

It sounds like he's ready to date you, but he doesn't THINK he's ready to date you. Tell him you are coming to pick up your lipstick when he stops sending you mixed messages.

All the confusing moves he makes are an effort to get you to do all the work while he tries to "figure out" whatever it is he thinks he's going through. Sounds like a decent enough guy, but he's got to learn how to handle himself emotionally. Otherwise, you get strung along and waste your time.

Be decisive and don't give him more thoughts or feelings than he has earned.

He's mentally scarred. This doesn't mean he's mental, it just means that he's at the point of his life, where he analyzes EVERYTHING. He takes dating advice from books and magazines cause he is so stressed about why he and his didn't last or what she did to him.

He needs help, cause he clearly hasn't gotten over the breakup and he clearly needs some support. I think you should give him space and maybe start dating someone else with less baggage.

He's not confusing he said he wanted to be friends. he obviously doesn't thing that iu two would make a good realtionship.

When you sent the email he didn't respond because it was awkward and he probably wasn't interested in sex if there no relationship. then you gave a reason so he had something to responds to, (to make it less awkward he told you that it was okay and that he doesn't mind the attention but again I think he was trying to tell you he didn't mind so you wouldn't feel bad.

as for the cofee he obviously deterred fromm the sexy email by mentioning coffee, cofee really does mean coffee So sounds like he wants to be there as your friend. so if you want to see him again, don't ask him out to dinner ask him out for coffee as a ffriend. (talk to him about anything you want don't try touching him. Unless he changes his mind about just friends. He sounds like a decent guy.

he says "coffee anytime" but says he wants to be friends, but what he really wants is low commitment sex. he wants a girl that he can sleep with but without the pressure of a relationship.

You are very right about the "ex girlfriend alert" haha I laughed for a good minute when I read that. I am in a super similar situation too! He is probably in the stage where he is still analyzing his past relationships too. Ugg and then he asked what your complexes were...yep he has some baggage. The guy I have been talking to seems to be looking for particular answers when he asks me questions too, and I don't really like that. It is like they have some sort of "criteria"-which is probably created based on past relationships-, and if you don't fit it perfectly then they aren't interested. It drives me insane when guys do this, cause I just feel sorry for them. If he wanted a shrink why didn't he just make an appointment, instead of dragging you along? I would stop contacting him, cause he obviously thinks of you as just a friend. If you don't mind being just his friend then send him an e-mail telling him to hit you up anytime he needs someone to talk to.

Im not sure why us women do his to ourselves,how does it get so over complicated?
He has said he just wants to be friends,there is the answer.
He ment by that e.mail you sent him that he was flattered-it is flattering when someone likes us even if we dnt feel the same way I think.
He mentioned meeting for coffee as that's the kind of things friends do.
I don't think you were causing him to be claustrophobic,i think that you are clinging on to a bit of hope and making excuses/trying to find away around him not wanting to be more then friends (I really don't intend to be rude there its just this is what we do as women imo).
Look you stayed over and there wasn't sex (guys don't often turn sex down if they are into you) and the next time you saw him YOU had to kiss him.
He has told you in black and white,dont torture yourself analiseing it and looking for ways around it-If a man is interested,he wants you to know.
I didn't mean to be harsh there,ive just read "hes just not that into you", and it really makes you realise how women don't really hear what's being said because we look for any little thing we can use as a reason to hang on in there...so,thats just mho,you deseve better.

it means that he is being nice about telling you that he doesn't want to date you and sees you as more of a friend then someone he would date. I wouldt even be friends with him because then your just hurting yourself just forget about him.

If you like him and want more than friendship, leave him alone. I am currently back and forth with a guy who swears up and down he's in love with me one day, yet three days after we get back together, he's telling me he feels he's losing interest. I have lost nearly all interest in him because he's playing this game. He's not over his ex yet but I wasn't aware of it until after we'd met and seemed to go crazy over each other. Now he wants to just be friends. I want more or nothing at all. The only way to get that is to NOT be friends. Otherwise that's all he will see you as.