How do you know if you're ugly? (long question)

Nope. You're not ugly but the way you think about yourself is unattractive. Self esteem and self confidence truly come from within. When you seek validation externally, I. E. From other people, you're setting yourself up for failure. No matter what your appearance, if you take care of yourself and do the best you can with what you have, you're good. BUT, the MOST IMPORTANT THING about feeling attractive is positive thinking and believing that you're all that. Whether other people think so or not. THAT'S what's attractive. Confidence and the energy you put out in the universe from that.
It will draw people to you but you must fake it till you make it. In other words, you must work on your attitude and distorted thoughts until you get it right. Then, you will see results. Walk with your head held high. Make good eye contact with people. Strangers. And smile lots. People are drawn to positive energy because other people feel good when around that. Looks truly are skin deep. Have you ever met someone who is not appealing to you physically but once you got to know his personality, he seemed beautiful?

Sure it would be nice if we all had the body we wanted but any boy/man drawn to a person based soley on their physical appeal is not someone you need in your life. Physical chemistry is important but that typically comes from within also. It's how you make a person feel when they are around you that is important. You can't possibly expect someone to be drawn to you and feel good around you when you feel so poorly about yourself. Work on it. You're a smart girl. I can tell that by how you articulated your question. Learn this lesson while you are young because I know precisely what I'm talking about and you don't need to waste years of your life with low self-esteem and self-confidence washing all over you everyday.

Best of luck, cutie. By the way. Older women don't tend to comment on a persons beauty just to be nice. They've come too far in life to worry about helping someone feel better by lying to them. They speak the truth. Trust it. But most of all, don't rely on external validation. Take are.

Now I'm just trying to give constructive criticism-

Where you wrote you're not trying to be conceited; and also the low confidence, it also seems like you're not accepting of the fact of taking these compliments. From reading this it seems like you've built a barrier from receiving these types of compliments, and it's mostly in your mind. Do you have flaw's that you concentrate on fixing and can't get past? or anything like that so as to where you receive a compliment you say to yourself "that can't be true they're just being a wise guy."

It kind of sounds like when you receive a compliment, if you were more accepting and had the attitude like "well now I like hearing that I look good or my hair looks good because I put some effort into making it look good!" That's just an example to think in your mind instead of being like "this person is lying about what they said about my hair, or whatever."

Also, sometimes there are girls who are pretty, but the only time I see them is with their friends and they are in a group and I don't want to just walk up to them. The group situation is a little difficult to deal with when that's the only chance a guy has. So he doesn't always act in trying to get to know a girl that way. If your around like 1 friend or so that's a little easier to handle but a group of three of more might make some guys think about it and not act on it.

And beauty is in the eye of the beholder - someone can go and look at Piccaso's paintings and say "wow these are gorgeous!" and the next person might say "Oh man, I should of went to the museum of history instead of the museum of art; these paintings don't hold my interest!" And this is because of personal preference and what people see as beauty.

And like we all have strengths and weaknesses; it's just, the people like Ted Dansen (I know old school here, Sam Malone from the tv show "Cheers" and John Becker from "Becker"); well, they know how to hide their flaws really good!
What if I was to tell you that Ted Danson famously was balding from a young age and wore a wig in many of his roles, a fact that was worked into a storyline on "Cheers" where he removed his hair piece on camera.

How about that! The Ladies Man from "Cheers" and "Becker" wore a wig!!! He's not perfect neither, but he worked with what he had until he became a success. So the moral of the Ted Dansen story: the fact that he was bald didn't bother him, and sometimes he didn't use a wig (that's rare) but he looked past the fact that he was bald and worked on other things that could make him feel better about himself.

I don't know what you look like so I can be totally wrong here and if I am well nevermind, but, it sounds like you still carry some of the low self esteem of when you were younger, and you have grown and are still becoming a beautiful person. Everyone has something to contribute as to beauty, you just have to figure out how to embrace it. Then we guys can notice what makes you special!

I know you are not def not ugly. I feel the exact same way, but deep down, I know I'm not ugly. I'm just not as pretty as the other girls, but, I think I have a very likable personality, and I bet you're very beautiful in body, mind, and spirit. God will love you no matter what, and that should be all that matters. But it is human nature to want to feel accepted and attractive. No one should have to feel the way you do, but unfortunately, much of society is cruel. You are just insecure, but you're not ugly. You are beautiful, and most of all you are a child of god. And no child of god is ugly.

I can completely relate to how you are feeling. However, in my life, no one tells my I'm pretty. I am ugly; all the people at school are always making fun of me because I'm "fat". I only put that in quotations because I am not like the 300 pound girl, I am smaller than a lot of girls at my school, but I just get picked on a lot. Anyway, by the way you are writing, you are not ugly! If people are telling you that you are pretty, then you are! You need to learn how to except compliments! I know this may seem hard, especially for having a low self-esteem, but guys mat like you and you just don't know about it.
I can bet that probably every person in this world has sometime in their life thought that they were ugly. Sure, you probably are to some people, we all are! I know I think people are ugly, so people may think the same about you. It's just how humans are! You need to stop worrying about what everyone else thinks. They don't matter! It is only you that has to think you are beautiful, we all are in our own way! There are certain things we all don't like about ourselves and others. It's ok, and we just have to except that.
Hope I helped!!

By my reading skills, you don't seem ugly. You probably think that I am just saying this. But I'M NOT. My mom told me, "What guys really like whether your ugly or not is your hair"
Just be happy that you don't have too many freckles to count on your face like me!

So you just need to ignore those guys and be confident. And make your hair look great!
:]

Okay well you seem really nice and caring so I say get a mirror and stand in front of it because my mom did this to me once I had to stand in front of it till I believed in my self that I was beautiful even if it was just one thing but it worked so much for and I love my body and if you don't do some exercise or put on make up and maybe a skirt during the summer one guy has to find you attractive because you sound attractive and if old women come up that don't even know you and say that your pretty then you are cause a old women wouldn't do unless it was true

I know how you feel when I was younger my brother would make fun of me all the time and call me ugly, but then later on I found out that he's an asshole and some brothers are to their little sisters. but that stopped a long time, but it still kind of sticks with you. it wasn't nice for him to say that or for any guy to say that to you or any other young girl, but boys are stupid and they don't know what they are saying most of the time. so believe people when they say you're pretty its a good ego boost. plus guys love a girls who's confident in herself, so if you think you're pretty then other guys will too.

You'd be surprised with how many people of both sexes are wondering the same thing. There really isn't a definition of pretty, handsome, and attractive. People have personal likes and dislikes, although some are more common then others.

Many people, including myself, sometimes get offended when they receive compliments. It's about being happy with how you look, and then others will pick up on your self confidence.

People also pick themselves apart. I know I have an eye that closes more then the other, but I am the only one that notices it. Start looking at yourself in the mirror and looking for things that make you beautiful, and tell your self that in a mantra everyday. It will raise your self-esteem.