I’m not confident?

[Anonymous]

I’ve never really put much thought into it before but now it’s really getting to me. I’m feeling extremely sad and unlucky. I’m feeling that way because I don’t like the way my life is. Ever since I started at a new school there’s been a lot of pressure, not academically but more about appearance. I just feel like I don’t fit any characteristics of what you’d call pretty or enough to be socially relevant. Of course I’m not lonely or anything. I have a best friend and I talk to a lot of people in my grade but my best friend is super pretty and I feel like I’m just there. Also it’s my height, everyone has commented about it. It’s not necessarily negative but it really gets to me. My friend he always says “Hey! My favourite midget”. I just play it off as a joke but deep down it really hurts. Not only my height but I feel like I can’t wear certain clothes I like because of surgical scars. I have a big one on my stomach because I was born with Gastroschisis. I just feel all my flaws make me lose all potential. I literally beat myself up because of it and my height is the worst. I’m 147 cm or even less and no one takes me seriously. I’m 15 and I don’t think I’ll even grow anymore. I stand on my toes in my shoes to appear taller and my legs are always worn out because it’s tiring but that’s the least I can do.
My friends tell me I’m pretty and so on but I don’t feel it. It just doesn’t sit right with me, how come I experience all this including my horrible family problems. I know there are people out there who would die to live like me because of the situation they might be in but it doesn’t make me feel better. I notice my friend also gets attention from the popular guy. When there are parties with people in our grade me and my friend usually aren’t invited but my friend does get some sort of invitation while I don’t. I know the guys are just toying around with her but to even get that privilege says something…

Updates

10 mo

It’s not like I’ve never experienced something that has boosted my confidence. I’ve had a few people ask for my snap of be interested in me but the people I’m interested in never take a liking to me. I just feel like all this is so unfair, I don’t understand what I did to deserve this.
Like I avoid wearing shorts or skirts because then people will see I’m leaning my heels on the top of my shoes which obviously is very abnormal.

Updates

10 mo

When I talk with someone who’s more popular than me it’s like I’m not taking to them as a friend more like someone who’s desperate for the attention they have. I have this friend, Emma. She’s in my class and we talk but I’m only available when her friends aren’t around or when she doesn’t have friends around then. It just doesn’t sit with me

[MementoMori777]

believe it or not to guys being short is adorable, your height won't effect anything and about your scar, i know you might feel self concious about it but a good person would accept your flaws and maybe even like them, there's someone for everyone, to build confidence you have to accept yourself for the way you are and embrace it, which i know you can, i think you'll be fine, love yourself, you are surely worth self love and confidence, at the end of the day, flaws only make people unique in their own way, instead of seeing the negative things about it, look at the positive.

[Asker]

Thank you for that but I’m sure a teenagers have different standards from adults when it comes to appearance. I just know that because of my height I’ve lost a lot of dating opportunities. Where I live the standards are often to be tall or not 140+ at least.
I just want to live a teenage life where I’m not excluded from things. I’ve tried to hard to fit in and at some point it worked but not the way I now want it to.

[MementoMori777]

fitting in is overrated, you are living how others want you to live, be yourself in general, dont look for perfections that they simply just dont exist, thats what i mean by embrace it and dont forget you'll grow into an adult, at some point this advice will become useful if it isn't already 😆

confidence is being yourself not being something you are not and being happy with that, you are short, you aren't worthless bro, huge difference, the opportunities you get, take them, you should focus on what you have and what you get, not what you dont have and what you can't get, trust me, you'll be fine, i can guarantee that you'll regret changing for others cause the truth is people are never satisfied, its never enough, dont fall for it, they dont give you the opportunity then there loss, waste no time on them, you'll be alright and this path will lead to confidence.

[Mynameisbobby]

If you focus on all the positives about you other people will too. Forget about things you can't change like your height. You're the only one who can control how you feel about yourself no one else can do that for you, in fact people will follow your lead about how to treat you. Essentially you teach others how to treat you by the way you treat yourself. I struggled with confidence at your age too, then I just realized that the only thing that matters most is how I feel about myself I could choose to feel negative about myself or I can choose to feel positive about myself which is what I decided to do and it was like everything else just fell into place. You too can do that. Show the world how beautiful you are on the inside and outside beleive me your life will change for the better! Best of luck to you 👍

[Levin]

I'm sorry man.

As they say, comparison is the thief of joy.

You're comparing yourself to other people.

Can't you find things in yourself that you like? I feel like this is the way forward. To appreciate yourself. But I know it's not easy. But I think you might have more things going for you than you realise.

[Asker]

I used to not care too much about how I looked but I feel like everything is adding up. I though I was relevant enough because I’ve talked to a bunch of people who’d call themselves popular but now I see I don’t even get invited to parties where even the most random people are at. I feel like I’m missing out on a lot and of course when my height is always mentioned I don’t think people take me seriously and perceive me as a kid younger than them.

I really don’t think there’s anything I like about myself both with physical appearance and my life

[Levin]

Well, if it makes you feel any better, the 'popular' ones usually burn up and end up looking like shit after the age of 25.

I know you're hurting but you're at one point in your life. I guarantee you your perspective will change as you get older.

[Sparkie460]

Don't compare yourself to others. You are an individual. Be proud of who you are. If people joke about your height, tell them " great things come in small packages". If you don't want them to keep saying things about your size, tell them. Let them know it's getting old. Try being more confident in yourself.

[RyanK9b]

You're 15 ffs. Much will change. kids can be very mean, hostile and stupid.
Don't be so shy about yourself, small girls are not bad. At least you can wear heels without getting to big for guys.

A lot will change and you will have no problem in the future.

Just get comfy with stuff u can't change. Acceptance.