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A new girl just moved into my house. Lately I feel like I am the mascot to a sorority. There are now 4 girls living upstairs, granted one of them is only three but I think she has the hots for me. I wish the new girl did, she is absolutely adorable. Why did she move in with a lecherous guy like me living downstairs? Two reasons, she knows me and trusts me (nuts I know) but the bigger reason is the guy she was living with broke up with her and gave her three days to move out.
He’s got a growler
She was a mess when I showed up at the house. Christina was red eyed talking to my roommate Lacy. “Tell Mike what he did…” said Lacy folding her arms. Christina said “He didn’t mean it plus it was my fault.” “Tell me what?” I said making a U-turn from the bathroom. Christina couldn’t make eye contact with me and stared at the carpet. “He SPIT on herrrr” said Lacy Glaring at me and dragging the R over her lower teeth. “He WHAT?? Christina… he spit on you?” I asked, “yes” she said. “Did he spit in your face?” again she said yes and anger welled up in me.
Christina is a bit of an airhead but she is kind and didn’t deserve this treatment. However she still didn’t want to move out of her boyfriend’s house! She was holding out for him to change his mind. Which is why Lacy was giving her a big sister scold in the kitchen. I looked at her and said with steel “Christina, people spit on garbage, are you garbage Christina?” I stared into her eyes and she finally met mine. “No” she said. “Okay lets go get your bed, you are staying here tonight.” Lacy jumped in “see! I told you he would say that!”
She didn’t stay
We got her bed, although fitting the queen-sized mattress in back of a van was like trying a force a pair of underoos on a sumo wrestler. I finally got it in to the chagrin of the van and the wrestler. I muscled the bed upstairs, set up Christina’s room, gave her a torch lamp and even arranged her furniture. She seemed uninterested. About one in the morning I heard her car leave and it was clear where she was going.
The next day
She spent the night with him and they slept on the floor. He apparently said sorry for spiting in her face and screaming “GET THE FUCK OUT!!” Christina felt this should be rewarded with sex. What a mess… Like trying to separate fighting cats you will inevitably get scratched and bitten, I stayed out of it. The next day I just smiled at her with pity in my eyes. “What? He said he was sorry…”
Christina is going through what we all have been through before. The first time we get betrayed by love it is horrible and we will do anything to avoid the inevitable. Christina had it even worse since she had no family to run to. She was in his home and she had less than a week to get out. In her mind the only solution was to work things out. In retrospect we can all see the cow pie she stepped in and we want to reach out to yank her out like a child. But like the child she ran right back to it to tromp around in the filth. (Cows have permanent diarrhea and when the go they create a large round runny mound of dung. This is a cow pie, it later dries into a funnel cake looking disk that can be burned or thrown at friends)
The need for control
I think it is necessary for all of us to step in the steamy cow pie of life to really understand and grow. We need to touch the hot stove with our genitals or stick our tongue in a light socket to really get it. We need to lick the metal pole in the school yard or pee down the furnace vent. We need to Jump off the roof into the neighbors pool or see if it is possible to drink a bottle of Vodka in one go. Despite all of the best advice we get pregnant, get others pregnant, Crash cars, get drunk, do drugs, fuck up and step neck deep into the cow pie.
When the student is ready the teacher appears - Wayne Dyer
In other words, no one listens until they really want to. Be patient and don’t be frustrated when they don’t listen, after all you never did.
Mike Masters
Writes a blog for women about relationships at MikeTheMasterDater.com. Traveling the world and dating every single he met along the way allowed Mike to make an uncountable number of mistakes in relationships. These mistakes led to a fluency in the psychology of dating that could only be gained from radical immersion.
He’s got a growler
She was a mess when I showed up at the house. Christina was red eyed talking to my roommate Lacy. “Tell Mike what he did…” said Lacy folding her arms. Christina said “He didn’t mean it plus it was my fault.” “Tell me what?” I said making a U-turn from the bathroom. Christina couldn’t make eye contact with me and stared at the carpet. “He SPIT on herrrr” said Lacy Glaring at me and dragging the R over her lower teeth. “He WHAT?? Christina… he spit on you?” I asked, “yes” she said. “Did he spit in your face?” again she said yes and anger welled up in me.
Christina is a bit of an airhead but she is kind and didn’t deserve this treatment. However she still didn’t want to move out of her boyfriend’s house! She was holding out for him to change his mind. Which is why Lacy was giving her a big sister scold in the kitchen. I looked at her and said with steel “Christina, people spit on garbage, are you garbage Christina?” I stared into her eyes and she finally met mine. “No” she said. “Okay lets go get your bed, you are staying here tonight.” Lacy jumped in “see! I told you he would say that!”
She didn’t stay
We got her bed, although fitting the queen-sized mattress in back of a van was like trying a force a pair of underoos on a sumo wrestler. I finally got it in to the chagrin of the van and the wrestler. I muscled the bed upstairs, set up Christina’s room, gave her a torch lamp and even arranged her furniture. She seemed uninterested. About one in the morning I heard her car leave and it was clear where she was going.
The next day
She spent the night with him and they slept on the floor. He apparently said sorry for spiting in her face and screaming “GET THE FUCK OUT!!” Christina felt this should be rewarded with sex. What a mess… Like trying to separate fighting cats you will inevitably get scratched and bitten, I stayed out of it. The next day I just smiled at her with pity in my eyes. “What? He said he was sorry…”
Christina is going through what we all have been through before. The first time we get betrayed by love it is horrible and we will do anything to avoid the inevitable. Christina had it even worse since she had no family to run to. She was in his home and she had less than a week to get out. In her mind the only solution was to work things out. In retrospect we can all see the cow pie she stepped in and we want to reach out to yank her out like a child. But like the child she ran right back to it to tromp around in the filth. (Cows have permanent diarrhea and when the go they create a large round runny mound of dung. This is a cow pie, it later dries into a funnel cake looking disk that can be burned or thrown at friends)
The need for control
I think it is necessary for all of us to step in the steamy cow pie of life to really understand and grow. We need to touch the hot stove with our genitals or stick our tongue in a light socket to really get it. We need to lick the metal pole in the school yard or pee down the furnace vent. We need to Jump off the roof into the neighbors pool or see if it is possible to drink a bottle of Vodka in one go. Despite all of the best advice we get pregnant, get others pregnant, Crash cars, get drunk, do drugs, fuck up and step neck deep into the cow pie.
When the student is ready the teacher appears - Wayne Dyer
In other words, no one listens until they really want to. Be patient and don’t be frustrated when they don’t listen, after all you never did.
Mike Masters
Writes a blog for women about relationships at MikeTheMasterDater.com. Traveling the world and dating every single he met along the way allowed Mike to make an uncountable number of mistakes in relationships. These mistakes led to a fluency in the psychology of dating that could only be gained from radical immersion.
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