Girls, what would your reaction be if your ex boyfriend, who you dumped cold, wrote this email to you? honest opinion.. is it too sensitive or mature comm?
First part is below, attached is the second part of the email i sent in question.
"I hope all is well and you're planning a fun weekend. I know you've moved on and I'm getting better at doing the same. By sending this, it's not my intent to push you away further; my conscious/therapist compelled me to write this, whether it's right or wrong.
I want to say this upfront in case you quit reading. I never ever ever in my life would've let you down in any way, judged you, betrayed you or hurt you in any way, shape or form; even during the worst of times. I was there for you then, and I'm nothing if not loyal, so know that I'm here for you now if you need someone to talk to.
With that said, regardless if you didn't want to be with me, I've never in my life been as crushed, hurt or confused by the way you left me. It felt as if I never existed to you. I let very few people into my 'inner circle' in terms of trust and openness for this exact reason.
dated for 6 months. The day after receiving a kiss pic via text, she dumped me cold by phone with no reasons other than its her choice, said when it ends it ends. 2 weeks after separation texts that she was really enjoying being together. first time she said anything about relationship to me. then she erased me from her life completely immediately, blocking everything but email. reaches out again but ignores my reply, i asked for honesty not confusion; haven't heard from her in 3 weeks. i sent this 2 weeks after her last email ignore and haven't heard from her. i know for fact she's not dating anyone else.
Did i do the right thing, im one for positivity and i loved this girl Reaction if this was your ex, after you dumlrd him for no reason why push/pull communication and hope then to go ignored? since breaking up, she's changed social profile pics every week for attention, posted odd things.. when together she never changed pics and posted happy positive things... is she hurting but just not wanting me to know?
Updates
+1 y
she's also very selective, private and deceptive about her life, social media posts about guys of past, me and won't add ever add me to her fb. in 6 moths she never posted any pics if us together or mentions of me, but did post pics of just her to the places i took her saying her life is amazing etc. i get the sense she's hiding me from something or someone. she also went back and deleted every post she made or picture associated to us from last 6 months. i know its just fb, but fishy right?
Girls, what would your reaction be if your ex boyfriend, who you dumped cold, wrote this email to you? honest opinion.. is it too sensitive or mature comm?
This sounds really hard for you, so I'm sorry you're going through a difficult break up. I have broken up with someone seemingly out of nowhere. I had tried to end it so so many times but he just wasn't picking up on the queues I was laying down to try and end it so it ended up cold and borderline cruel for him to accept it. If I had gotten this communication afterwards while I could respect how hard it would be to lay those emotions out there by replying I'd be opening up that bridge again and really; there is just nothing to talk about anymore. I don't want to be with him, I'm sorry his feelings are hurt but what more can I say without him reading more into it? On the other hand as someone who has been dumped; dwelling on your ex leads to nothing but heartache. Stop looking at her social media and writing her letters and focus on healing your heart. You do deserve good things and someone who can love you the way you need, so remember the good times you had with her and look forward to the better ones you have yet to have
yeah she went to this self help seminar cult thing and came back a whole new girl. there was one sign i guess, days before dumping me, she got me excited for weeks in advance about my birthday. On my bday night, she sent an old social media pic via text, yet lied she took it that mornng, no gift, bday card, anything. she was 30 mins late to dinner and then fell asleep cold 10 mins into movie after. I said the next day it was kinda rude to sleep and replied that she took time out of her night to be with me even though she was extremely tired and that should say something. no remorse or respect. my fault. thank you for your insight. i just thought it was cruel to end that cold after telling me so much and all good memories just gone so fast for her. like i never existed.
also did you at least give your guy a reason or in person? she demeaned everything she liked about me while breaking up. cognitive dissonance every day.
I did, but I don't think he was hearing me at that point. It wasn't even anything specific - I just didn't like him enough spend the rest of my life with him. I wanted to work hard and get a good job and buy a house and he wasn't keen. I wanted a partner not a man I had to drag along life. But trying to tell him that and he just kept saying he'll change so it wasn't absorbed
but see at least you shared with him and he was a bum it sounds like. she didn't share any reason and just walked out demeaning and blaming me fror everything when days before everything was fine. i was you and she was your ex in this scenario, except she belittled and manipulated me tl the point i had no self worth left really, even though im the one wirh career, education, finances, etc. she went from best girl ever to pure nightmare. she was so cold and calculated its almost like she had it planned from the start. i got the narcissist special
Reading that was painful, reminded me of what my disgusting ex boyfriend did to me. Found some chick at work who gave him attention, and out of the blue one day texted me that he can't be with me because he has another girl and that he already asked her out to lunch. Mind you, this was after a 2 year relationship with him. Repulsive. I'm glad you wrote that with the kindness and respect that you did. I'd send it (hopefully it helps her wake up to reality), which you did, and then never contact her ever, ever again. You're way better and worth more than she can ever appreciate. I doubt she's hurting, she seems out of touch with real life.
thank yiu for the reply and sorry you had to endure something similar. you're right, she never ever appreciated me. she's hurting i bet but she's so alpha and narcissist she'd never express it. it hust hurts knowing a girl who in time would've been more than a girlfriend, was never interested in me at all. all fake.
I know the exact feeling, and it feels like shit. I remember I cried everyday in bed for like 2 weeks. The good news is, the pain will eventually turn into some form of anger and you won't care about them anymore. Try your best to remove her from your mind and life, delete all text history, photos, everything to do with her. She wasted your energy and time man, don't let her take any more of it. I'm sure there'll be a day she'll regret this, because narcissism can only take you so far in life. I wish you the best :)
completely agree. i still think about our good times daily but i also remember the lies and disrespect more often now too, hence you reference to anger. im just shocked people can be so cruel after basically toying with love and my self esteem. im at fault too for letting her doninate me but i guess i try to hope for the good in people.
Right? It's shocking how cold and cruel people can really be :/ I don't think I'll ever be able to understand it. And true, just take this as a powerful learning experience, to never be quick to trust someone and let them charm you to hell. No I thought the email was wonderful, it sounded manly because you didn't sound bitter or like you're dying to have her back. It was strong and to the point.
thank you for your honest replies. i appreciate it. this is my first time ever even realizing what narcissism is, and im torn to shreds lol scariest part in all honesty was how emotionless she was when splitting. not one ouncr of respect or feeling for the loss. i can respect her fully if she was just honest and didn't lead me on, but she alwats knew how to reel me in with tenderness and affection just enough for me to overlook something or for her benefit later on. ill be honest, this has put a huge damper on my attraction towards finding a mate and has obliterated any self worth. i was at the peak of my life when i met her and now im in the darkness for doing everything i thought a respectful chivalrous guy should do. i guess i trusted her too much and her criticism and insults hit deep bc she used her knowledge of my vulnerabilities and likes against me, creating self doubt even though she's the only one in my life who has said those things about me. i guess i just wanted respect.
No worries at all! Believe me, you can only get better and better from this as each day passes. I understand, it's horrifying to know some people are like that :/ as for the self worth and attraction doubts, I actually completely understand because that's what I felt as well. My best advice to you is to try your best to form a crush on someone new, even if nothing major will become of it. Your mind will slowly find new inspiration, positive distractions and you will find yourself again as you move forward. A year from today, that woman won't mean anything to you anymore, she won't cross your mind and you won't have a narcissistic backstabber in your life :) Don't allow her to take away all that you've worked so hard for, your confidence in yourself and your hope for attraction. Screw her, you have so much more to live for and so much more to love. Give yourself a year. Work on yourself and take all the pain she gave you as lessons on what to watch out for next time.
First off she didn't dump you for no reason. She just didn't tell you her reasons or feels it's to complicated to communicate. Depending on your age (your account says you are 30), 6 months is a pretty short relationship. You mentioned a therapist, have you discussed this issue with them?
It sounds like she must be dealing with a lot if she is pushing you away and the reaching out randomly, for what seems like no reason. Unfortunately it's not realistic for her to rely on you at this point in time. Maybe with more time apart you can rebuild the foundation for friendship, but till then I don't think you can do much.
If this letter is helping you find closure and to move on, then it was definitely the right thing to do for you. If the letter was a hope that you can get her back, or even just make her feel bad, then you may have burned that bridge.
I hope you can take the positive and lessons learned from this heart break. May there be much better things to come.
she was always very secretive abd private about her life and glued to all social media wjth selfies galore. i think something big is bothering her but she never wanted to share her life details with me. she's also 34 and mormon, not strict, my other mormon friends say its not common to be 34 and never married for some hidden reason.
I think it’s good. I would take out the Love, Sunshine ending, as it’s a bit much. My ex has sent over emails very similar to this. It worked a few times. We got together for meals and what not. But the core issues always came back up. Everything happens for a reason. But I do think it’s a good idea to send it to her so you feel lighter. Don’t expect anything from it though. Think of it as a closure and then a fresh start. Even if you ever got her back, trust would be gone forever. She is probably hurting yes, at the very least self-searching
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