I would be extremely careful with this situation. Hanging out with another guy (or girl in a mans case) is always going to cause some type of problem. Sure you could talk to your boyfriend about it and quite possibly he might be all right with it. But then what if he gets a new girl friend whom he hangs out with. Imagine him telling you the same thing.
"Well she really likes me, but we just have fun hanging out together. Don't worry she is only a friend."
Now the fact that you have "abandonment issues" would lead me to believe that you would have a huge problem with this. Maybe not at first, but resentment grows.
Besides hurting your boyfriend you are also hurting two other people... yourself and the new guy.
He likes you and you are leading him on. If he likes you he will eventually try to make a pass at you. He may even be the type of guy that waits until you are completely vulnerable (drunk, in a fight with your boyfriend, or he might be that last fling before you get married)
I say you are hurting yourself, because in my eyes a woman that flirts with other men or leads them on while she has another boyfriend is a sad girl. I'm sorry but the fact that you need this other man around to fulfill your abandonment issues really says a lot about your insecurities.
You should really make some time for yourself and figure out what you really want in your life. Instead of hanging out with other men when your boyfriend is gone you should try starting a new hobby or furthering your career.
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It's not cheating if you haven't done anything with him. However, you are placing yourself in a situation where something could happen. Your boyfriend has made it clear (stupidly wanting to beat him up) that he's not pleased with the friendship and yet you continue. I think you have to ask yourself why you're continuing to see this guy when the guy you're going to get engaged to disapproves.
Turn it around. How would you like your boyfriend hanging out with a girl that really likes him?
I have been in this exact same situation. Based on my 6th sense, I've hid my male friend away from my husband. We've only hang around each other as pure friends. No boundaries have ever been crossed. My reasoning for hiding my male friend is because my husband has a tendency to be easily jeaous and eventually somehow drive ALL my males friends away. I've recently went through counseling and realized that my husband has been verbally abusive, physically aggressive, & controlling as well towards me.
It sounds like your 'boyfriend' has personal issues if he wants to 'beat up' your friend. Maybe your boyfriend is very insecure of himself... but there is really not a need for him to say something like that. I, on the other hand, learned it the hard way.
Not a good idea. It is good to have friends and youur boyfriend can not stop you from doing that but it is not good to contiue hanging out with someone who is interested.
It is upsetting your boyfriend which is not good and that could push him away. You could also be building up the hopes of the friend who likes you.
As the guy said think how you would feel if your boyfriend hung out with a girl who was in to you? You would not like it so don't do it to him.
It's not considered cheating but you might want to take it easy. Even if you may not have feelings for him now be careful because that "being alone" feeling and him keeping you company can develop into something more and then it could be considered as emotionally cheating. If I were you I'd tell my boyfriend because obviously if you feel guilty about it you must feel it's wrong of you to do. Let him know and hopefully he'll understand you're abandonment issues.
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Personally I think your boyfriend is a piece of sh*t for threatening violence. No man worth being with would ever do that. But that's beside the point.
Who's to say all your guy friends don't like you? Does being with a boyfriend mean not being able to have any male friends? Boyfriend better get used to it. Decent women have lines forming of guys who want to be with them and the line usually begins at their closest friends. Being with a boyfriend doesn't mean alienating those friends.It's not cheating. But it isn't honest not to tell him about it.
Your boyfriend sounds a little insecure and high on the jealousy scale.
Look, this mechanic is just another guy friend who happens to be attracted to you. I'm often---usually, even--at least somewhat attracted to my female friends. It usually doesn't go anywhere, certainly not when they have a bf. It sounds like the only person with a real problem here is your bf.if you're just hanging out when I see nothing wrong, just don't step over the line.
If you don't have any feelings for him then him I don't see the trouble. But if your boyfriend dosnt like that your doing it, then don't go see him. You wouldn't want this to come between you and your boyfriend.
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