You have tasted, first hand unfortunately, what is like to be in a triangular relationship. In a nutshell, hell.
"SHOULD I JUST LET HIM GO? [i couldn't]"
Find the will power to leave the table --- you have a pile of sh?t on one dish, and a pile of goodies on another. Your problem is you can't turn your eyes away from the goodies, but the smell of the "pile of sh?t" is so obnoxious that it makes you puke. This is what happens with triangular relationships. They bait and abuse you at the same time.
The longer you "indulged yourself" in such a relationship, the lower your self-esteem will sink, what is waiting for you around the corner is depression, anger/rage, jeolousy, perceived helplessness, hopelessness.
Clear your mind of him. Ask yourself, "What kind of guy do I want ?" Focus on your answers, until the guy you want shows up. Make no compromise. Learn this lesson well and engage in no mediocre relationships. They put you in a worse situation than when you are without them.
This link may help your boyfriend with his girlfriend --- link
He shouldn't be with her just to pity her. That is not going to build a strong relationship. If he doesn't cheat with you he is going to cheat with someone else. And in the end, he is going to hurt her eventually...probably even more when all his doings come to the surface in addition to her growing more dependent on him. It sounds like he needs to step out of that relationship and maybe make sure she gets help...
But that is all off your shoulders. I wouldn't play the game with him because it is going to hurt you too. Back out now...force his hand if he is willing to chase you and drop her. If not, at least let him face those consequences on his own. He's made the decision...you shouldn't let yourself get pulled through the dirt with him.
He isn't sure in himself and what he wants while he was with her he was talking with you being with you.
While he was with you he was talking with her being with her.
Now he is with her talking with you being with you.
If he was sure of himself and confident with who he is he would decide for himself what do I want. If he wanted you both he would tell you. I love both of you I consider both of you my girlfriends if you can accept that I want to be with you otherwise you should leave me because I can't control myself I love women. Or he would go to the one of you he really cares about either way he would be clear and steady this is what a man who is being himself always is clear and steady.
You and his current girl like him more than he likes either of you this is why he is letting your emotions sway who he is and what he wants. When you get upset with him this will also sway who he is he will be miserable which he will take out on you blaming you for his weakness. He will remember good times with his ex and talk to her or another girl because he is to week to cheer himself up or accept he is responsible for his happiness. This circle will go on till he wakes up and decides to man up to himself and take control of his life.
Let him go girl it's jealousy talking to you not love.
The sooner you cut ties with this guy the better your life will be. Out of the phone. Off of MSN. Off your facebook/myspace/twitter.
This is the type of situation, that after counseling people and living with teens and early 20somethings for 7 years, that can be filed under "Not going to end well". He will string you along, using you when he wants you, until his suicidal girlfriend finds out about you. She sounds completely off her rocker and you have no idea how she'll react to that. A guy putting himself in that relationship has issues himself, if you ask me.
Get. Out. Now. C'mon. You're better than this. "I knew that I should just forget him." You said so yourself. Start the process of getting him out of your life. This second.
This is so difuctional and stupid. You knew he was in a relationship from the begining and went for him anyway. You should be so disgusted and ashamed of yourself. You're right. You are selfish. He is dumb for being with her out of guilt because she is being manipulative by using suicide to get him to be with her, but come on. You don't love him and he doesn't love you. This is lust and infatuation. You need to grow up and learn the difference. Besides, even if he did break up withj her and get with you he would still do the same damn thing and end up cheating on you. Sometimes girls are dumb ass hell and will try to get with a guy in a realtionship and somehow when they get him they think he'll be different and be faithful. Once a serial cheater always a serial cheater. Let him go for crying out loud. How would you feel if you were his girlfriend and you found out he was cheating and didn't give a sh*t about you? Put yourself in her shoes. You just need to leave, grow the f*** up, and get with someone who is single and available to get in a healthy, stable, monogamous relationship.
This is horrible on so many levels. You are not only hurting this girl who is a innocent party but you are letting yourself be nothing more than a piece of side action for this guy...He doesn't love you or her, or respect either one of you. If he did he would have broke up with her and been with you. No cheating, no disrespect. He is playing both of you. More her than you though because she was actually with him when you started screwing him on the side. Put yourself in her shoes. How would you feel if your boyfriend did that to you? Like sh*t. That's how. How are you suffering, he never was really with you, he just screwed you on the side of your relationship. He didn't care about you enough to be with you, so why do you care about him? Some of you chicks are deranged...I tell ya. He didn't have to get back with her, dispite what you think. He knows that she will stick around even though he cheats on her and that you will keep screwing him on the side, so why would he change things when everything is going his way?
ditch the guy, find someone else who is SINGLE and not in a relationship. you should've known better than to fall for a guy who already has someone emotionally attached to him. no one will pity you. so you should stop pitying yourself. you kind of asked for it.
You need to bget it straight that you were ALWAYS THE 3RD PARTY.
He only wants you when its conveniant for him. That's not good. If he actually loves you he's want you all the time.
Dump him. And no you shouldnt continue with him like that, beasue that makes you the other women who is always a "slut" if you know he has someoen else. You're not doing any good for yourself him or the other girls.
If a man wants to be with you... he'll be with you. Even if that means hurting his girlfriends feelings and causing her heartbreak. The heart wants what the heart wants. And it's obvious that he's just not sure enough of his feelings for you. Besides, who in their right mind would want to date a guy that's cheating on their girlfriend? Ever heard of the term "once a cheater, ALWAYS a cheater." Don't expect to be the exception.
Get smart and find a single man that can make you happy. There's plenty of them out there!
i think you were on the wrong from the get go he was never yours and never will be if he went back to her she has a hold of him they have many years together just let him go you might of just confused him that was why he left her and went back leave him alone if he wants you he would of never left u.
*He's cheating on his girlfriend with me. I want him* Well guess?!... You deserve him! He's a low life cheating scum who is on a major ego trip here! And you... you're ignorant for dating someone elses man! What goes around comes around! I hope somebody does it to you someday!
Omg what are you thinking? You need to cut all contact out with this guy and move on. It is not a good situation to be in and also what would you be thinking and feeling if you was his girlfriend and you found out that he was cheating on you. You wil be very hurt and wonder how he could do this to you.
He clearly is a cheater and player and what's to say that he does not have more than you and his girlfriend on the go and also what's to say he would not do the same to you further down the line.
You are still young and have plenty of time to meet other guys, ones who are single and comit to a relationship. Also if he leaves her for you, you will just be the rebound and he will leave you further down the line and hurt you.
If he wants to be with you he will be with you. Stop fantasizing what happened in the past. It's over and now he wants to be with his gf. So, if you feel you're selfish, then let him go, let your past with him go. Don't bother him and his girlfriend anymore. You should move on and be happy with your life, find a guy who can treat you nicely. Of course, you can't find him when you need him because he doesn't need to do that, you're not his gf. If you know you have to forget him, you should. You can't forget him because memory will always be there. What you can do is to move on. Let him go, if he's happy with her, let it be. What is done is done, and don't blame yourself for the past as it is useless. It will only bring more pain and suffering to you. Just try to accept the situation now and keep yourself from denying that it's actually over. IT'S OVER so to keep you away from the pain, you need to do things you need in your life.
I really don't mean to sound so harsh but that's what you get. You don't mess with a guy who is involved married etc. How do you think the girlfriend felt when she left and apparently he loves her not you. What is sad is that you knew he had a girlfriend and you still did that and that's wrong. It would be one thing if you didn't know but you did. Men can't cheat unless they have the woman who are willing to cheat with them. I have always said if a girl didn't know about me and was with my man then ok I wouldn't be mad at her, but if she did it would be a whole other story. HE LOVES HER so yes let him go and get your own man. Trust me when this happens to you (cause it will) you will not like how it feels and will understand.