The "New" Brad Pitt
---a guy who just does whatever he wants and says whatever he feels like saying.
Here is a little concept that could start to build a brand new perspective on how to date and, if properly adopted, could result in a lot less stress and a lot more success for you. The concept is that of realizing that it's the person that makes something "work" not the other way around. In this way, you can literally make anything work if you believe in it. So what I mean in terms of dating is anything from dressing in baggy sweats to your first date, talking about your ex, eating something with onions in it before going for makeout and on and on. Every dating faux paux can hurt you but if you commit to it, it can't. It can only help you. You can make it work.
What does it mean to commit to something? Basically, it means that you find nothing wrong with it. Oh, I'm underdressed? I don't mind. Oh, I'm talking about myself too much? I don't mind. Oh, she only dates surfers and I'm afraid of the ocean? I don't mind. See, when you're entertained by yourself and what you can and cannot do that translates immediatly. Now, nothing in social relationships is ever 100% accurate 100% of the time. There is an exception to everything but mainly so much of what we find wrong with someone else can be counteracted by sensing the inner level of acceptance they have. We live in the self esteem generation and the thing that matters most is that you're confident at all costs. In such reasoning, you can't doubt yourself because you don't think you're as good as you could be if you hit the gym right before a date. You aren't losing to that other guy because you forgot what day her bithday was. Commit that you're not wrong. You're never wrong. Not in the sense that you're less than someone else. Not ever. Yes, of course you're wrong to not remember but as sweet girls can be many will have no problem pointing you to compare yourself with someone else who is more on top of it than you are then pretend to not know why on earth you're getting jealous. You can't stop this. It isn't for you to stop. You can only refuse her pushing you to measure yourself against anyone else other than your own convictions.
You listen to hardcore and she listens to Ed Sheeran. You're driving her homel. What do you do?
Turn on your music because you like it and you don't care.
Play Ed Sheeran because it will put her in the mood to make out and show you understand her.
The first. Ideally, you both like hardcore heavy metal, but if you don't it's better you go with your desires instead of hers because going with her wants is not going to be authentic. You don't really want to listen to that whiny ginger you think. What the heavy metal will do will put you in a place of authentic enjoyment which she will be more attracted to than the ed sheeran music. Have I lost you yet? Basically, the thing you want to keep going throughout a date is YOU having a good time. Often, seeing you having a great time and being yourself is all that's needed for her to have a great time. Girls, on average, are much less selfish than we are in this way. Of course we think pretending to be less selfish is going to get us sex. It's a very logical conclusion, but it's only logical because we are thinking what it would take to get us into bed. Have you ever noticed how if you tell jokes that aren't funny and she laughs or starts playing music that you talk about all the time even though she listens to no similar artists that you're really put at ease and you feel like the man? Well, for many of us, we like being mirrored and we like girls pretending to like what we like. This is not what they want from us which is great because we get to have our cake and eat it too. The point I'm trying to make is that it has to be this way. It's a bit of an all or nothing. Either you're being all the way authentic or her vibing off you is only as strong as the authenticity you're putting forward.
To put it as crudely and blunty and simply as I know how: The way to get the girl you want is to do whatever you feel like doing and don't be fake. Ever.
Unless you're an amazing actor but even great actors believe in what they're doing when they're acting...