Seriously, I've done everything, I look good, practice good hygiene, have a likable personality, I even did the whole nice guy thing for a whole, however, after getting treated like crap by so many people, I couldn't. I changed, I'm cruel, bitter, angry, and have built a massive superiority complex (like the guys that get girls) but even that's not good enough!!! And not out of choice but, I've become rather vicious too, I'm not above using people and girls to suit my purposes (people have used me in the past). Nothing I ever do is good enough, I'm never good enough, and it's eroded my confidence and sense of self-worth to the point that I pretty much hate myself along with everyone else. I'm at my breaking point, I try to hide my anger, I try not to feel it, but apparently girls have some magical ability to see through it, I don't even want to find my anger or sadness anymore, I'm giving up on fighting it, I'm just giving it to it, letting it consume me, I don't have a choice anymore, everyone made all of my choices for me. I don't even care anymore, lately I've been considering suicide to prove a point, maybe kill myself in public to make a statement, I don't even care, I just want to die. I want to be a machine, i wish I was born a sociopath so I wouldn't have to care about anyone else, nothing matters anymore.
Most Helpful Guy
If this story is true and it's how you honestly feel. You need some serious therapy.
Others have made choices for me. What a cop out. At your age only YOU can make the choices.
If you really want to value your life by what is or isn't in it. You're doomed for failure. How about putting a value on what you can make, of your life?
Girls don't have any magical powers to see through you. It's not that difficult to figure out you're a selfish stupid twat. Here's something I recently wrote in another thread. You could learn something by it.
"What you're thinking/feeling creates a positive or negative aura around you. Which people can pick up on. A person won't know exactly what you are thinking. but they will get a sense of it. Even subconsciously. It will tell a lot about you. Especially whether they would avoid you or talk to you if you approached them. Or they approach you."
YOU HAVE A CHOICE. Make some changes in your life. Or continue down the road to failure. If you take failure road. Than be happy about it. It is YOUR CHOICE0