I can only offer you friendship right now--- need guys' opinions?

I am going to try and make this short, so if more details are needed, please ask. Back in April an attraction began with a man who is quite busy, ending a marriage, with a family. In about July, it developed more but just saw each other socially, not dating. In Aug/September began texting some and went to a club with a group of people. A huge amount of extra stress got piled on him (legal issues) and he told me the next months were going to be very heavy for him.
He always seemed happy to see me even during very bad days.
Things have gotten tremendously like a pressure cooker on every side for him lately, and all I have done is tell him I like him very much. He only said that if he did not like me, he would not even talk to me.
His eyes have shown kindness and sparkle, and he seemed happy when together. Still no dates. Nothing physical.
We had a talk about some issues that I am having in my own life, but I didn't expect him to "rescue me", I was just telling him.
Things got worse for him.
Then, when I saw him, he was obviously sick, and told me that he could only offer anyone friendship right now. That he did not want to shut me out, but he could only offer me friendship right now. That he was so stressed out with all on his plate, that he was shutting down and couldn't do any more.
So I said, okay.
The next time I saw him (ten days later), I was terrified. He said hi, and then we talked. Still kindness in his eyes, but looked so tired and beaten down. Still going through the issues. Said he was just trying to get through life and trying to survive. I did not bring up anything, just talked and joked. He handed me something he knew I would like over my shoulder, getting close, and then when we parted, he hugged me. (He is not a huggy type person.) I don't know if what he said means, we are done forever, or he means just right now... does he care about me (it sure seemed so). We never got physically intimate, though both certainly wanted to. opinions?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • This always amazes me. Women are always saying how they want honesty and no games yet when they get they don't know how to handle it. This guy is being as straight with you as possible. He isn't faking. You stated he's physically changed. You can't fake that. Just be a friend and don't expect anything more for a while

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    • I am not questioning his honesty. I am asking if I should stick around, because he cares about me and when things calm down for him we may resume. Or have I been kicked to the curb for good?

    • That's up to you. How long can you ride it out? This is why its not a good idea to get involved with someone going through a divorce

    • Thank you for answering. I am not interested in marriage or a live in relationship. So I can ride it out for awhile.

What Guys Said 1

  • Goddammit miss... you lied!

    You did not make it short. I got ADD, I couldn't get through your pile of crap. I went unconscious in short order. But I get the idea.

    Listen, you are beating a dead dick. Print out your confession. Read it. Is this mf'ing, un-affectionate queer your goddamn dreamboat? You seem very desperate to have him as your bf even though he is a loser. Why lose before you even start miss? Things won't get better with age... they will get worse. How goddamn desperate can you be miss?

    I don't give a shit how much stress I was under. Unless I was dead, if I was your guy you would be being worked over from head to foot after date 1 or 2. Move on miss unless your a glutton for punishment. At your age you don't have much time left to find love. Don't waste precious time on dead dicks miss. Good luck!

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    • I'm not desperate. Just a bit perplexed. You make some good points.

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