My boyfriend scares me sometimes?

My boyfriend is three years older than me. He was in the military for a little bit and got discharged medically or something. He never sent to war. he's becoming a cop now. he's a really intimidating guy buff and just the way he carries himself. I'm getting genuinely scared of him though.

He likes to really dominate me with sex he throws me around and hurts me but I think I like it sometimes. he's sort of hot headed but I know he has a good heart. I would never try to make him mad because I know it would be terrifying I've seen him yell before.

He says things that scare me too like I said I was going to kill him jokingly and he was asking how I was going to do it you got a plan cmon going in depth asking if j have what it takes. He said it in a joking way but I know he has the potential to kill someone. I don't know how I should bring this up but he's just a scare man. Is this normal?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Many many returning soldiers become police officers. There's a similar environment. Being a soldier or officer makes for a difficult romantic partner. I'm fairly certain police have one of the highest rates of divorce because their schedules don't work well for a family. It is very concerning when it comes to his temperament. Granted, you should never joke about death with a soldier. You should never be scared of your partner. Police officers can be aggressive. It takes a special person to be with a police officer. Just some things to consider.

    • Feel like he does joke about it sometimes and shakes it off like nothing.

    • Show All
    • Have you ever been with a military guy do you have a similar experience?

    • I'm in criminal justice. I'm surrounded by them all day every day. Same goes for women in the field. I am very aware that it takes a special guy to put up with me. I personally have never dated a military guy, but I'm friends with quite a few. We like the same rigid environments do we get along but other girls don't like them because of the lifestyle they chose.


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What Guys Said 2

  • If he has a good heart and you love each other, then tell him you are getting a bit scared of him and he may well improve! He will very likely feel guilty about scaring you, especially if he has a good heart, so just see what happens, ya know?

  • He may just be playing... But he may not be aswell... this is a really tough judgement call


What Girls Said 2

  • Well what I do know is that this is statutory rape (under-age sex) so that is illegal. Another thing is no guy should ever say that they are going to kill you, so your boyfriend is in need of some help because generally gut feelings are right. So you should bring up these things, a relationship should be open communication and at legal age too.

    • It's legal where I live and he didn't say he was going to kill me I said it joking and he responded with that sort of joking but j felt like it was too intense

  • Please be careful, and let someone know if you aren't feeling safe. Perhaps you should sit him down and talk about it? Communication is key! And if he doesn't want to stop scaring you, leave him.