Never had a girlfriend, never had sex at 25 years old?

I am 25 year old male, super-shy, never had a girlfriend, never been kissed and obviously a virgin. With all that wrapped into one, it makes me lack confidence - big time. I still live with my parents, play lots of video games and watch a lot of movies. I do go out from time to time, but I don’t go to bars or clubs because I don’t drink and don’t enjoy being around those environments. But I still struggle and still get nervous around girls I find attractive. I talk to very few females on a regular basis. I have never been approached by women or known of a woman who has ever had romantic feelings for me... ever, yet I see guys who have nothing going for them who get women at the drop of a hat. I get very envious of them.

I'm sure everyone that knows me would consider me to be a very nice person. I’m kind-hearted, intelligent, considerate, responsible and respectful. As far as looks go, I would consider myself average. I'm a little overweight but I’m working on losing a bit of weight. I just can't get over the shyness factor - not knowing what to say or even where to start a conversation. It's really a catch-22. I am extremely shy, not knowing what to say when I am out which in turn makes me feel even worse. The few times I did try and ask a girl out on a date I ended up looking like a bumbling idiot, it was really embarrassing. Having said that however, I'm not looking for a cheap hook up or a one night stand, I'm looking for a relationship.

Any suggestions on where to even begin? What’s your god honest opinion about me? Am I a loser?

Any replies would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • You are fine, I am 22 never had a bf, never been kissed, never sexually touched a male and haven't had a guy touch me. I am obviously as virgin as it gets and I am not giving up. If a guy likes mw then something is right if a guy doesn't well doesn't mean I am doing something wrong either. You perhaps need to not be a homebody but if that truly is you then find a chick who is like that. Find a girl who sees you for who you are, wants to make you a better person, be there for you and actually care. You aren't doing anything wrong sometimes it could be the wrong place. Trust me people where I love are not worth it such ugggh waste of time.

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    • im curious as to why that is the case for you? Have you ever been approached/courted by a guy... or is it an issue of you just turning guys down because you aren't ready yet?

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    • i was curious because I'm really trying to figure out how often girls get approached these days, and how many guys actually take the initiative. I recall you being quite a stunner, so your post had surprised me. This is just info im gathering for myself as I believe that with less guys approaching (if that is indeed happening), it would be a lot easier for guys like me who don't mind approaching still to leave a lasting impression and be more successful. Anyways, thanks for sharing sammy

    • @Watermlonaoma Yeah well apparently not a lot of girls easily get approached I mean at the same time I would quickly reject aholes lol Those I can pick and remove easily now, lets just say I am not as gullible and naive as I once was :D No problem :)

What Girls Said 2

  • Honestly you sound just like my bf. I fell for him so hard. I made all the 1st moves except the saying I love you which he said first. I was his first kiss, bj, sex, etc I love most about him was his kindness interest in WOW and LOL and 3d printing and how safe I felt/feel. Unfortunately he is having issues with being 45 min away from me which is frustrating b/c sitance should not be a factor of love. anyway sorry to ramble, I just meant you sound pretty cool and I would date u if I was not with a guy.

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  • I'm 15 and yeah I'm still young and have a lot of time for it but, I haven't had my first kiss nor had sex nor have a boyfriend. I don't drink nor smoke. I know exactly how you feel. I'm also shy, but I'm trying to be more outgoing since I'm going to another school. But mostly almost every one before 15 around where I live had a boyfriend or girlfriend before. I wouldn't really say theirs something wrong with me appearance wise. I mean, I'm pretty tall (5'4 3/4) and skinny.

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    • This made me laugh so hard I'm sorry honey but your average to short. At 15 I was 6' and I'm 19 and still the same height (yes!)

What Guys Said 6

  • Do you really absolutely feel you want or need to have a long term committed relationship?

    Try looking for someone with similar passions first, but it won't be easy.

    Since you like video games then try and see if you will find a girl that has the same interests as you such as video games.

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  • I didn't have sex till 24 I did everything else. But hey dating is not hard try online its pretty damn simple and your luck of finding someone who you could actually go the distance with sky rocket. Trust me you are not a loser you are just someone with different priorities than most.

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  • I'm a few years older and in the same boat. I do go to bars alone, not clubs. I go to concerts, movies, and generally spend most of my time alone. It might happen that I date a girl at some point, but not likely soon. if it happens it happens, likely it won't and I don't care much. you get rid of your sexual tension by yourself and forget about it.

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  • try online dating. its a nice way to meet a girl and ask her out with much less pressure.

    i haven't fared much better than you. im 25 and still a virgin and never been in a relationship that got serious enough to meet eachothers family anyway.

    keep on keepin on man

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  • Hit the gym and lose the weight first of all, you get a confidence boost just from being at the gym. Do you hangout with friends?

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  • you won't breed make like a man from catherine and die already

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