Can I make myself like a nice guy for once?

I dated smooth talking, "cool" guys throughout college, and I always ended up getting hurt in the end. Last night, I finally went on a date with an incredibly sweet guy. I've never seen someone try so hard before and he treated me like gold. He's cute, very smart, and generous. The problem is that I'm completely turned off by his lack of self-confidence. He kept putting himself down and asking for reassurance, and was just overall awkward. I know this is the kind of guy I should be dating if I want a different result, but I can't seem to get past his low self-esteem. Is there a way to make yourself like someone you know is better for you? Is it even the right thing to do?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • You need TIME to get used to someone and be confident around them. Girls I know will talk to a guy for one night and sleep with him right away and then the guy moves on. I don't know if you slept with other guys easily, but with a nice guy you have to gradually work up to it. Get to know him. He will open up, and once you guys are actually close and have an emotional connection then he will feel like he can be goofy and fun and confident around you and he can be confident in thinking that you won't judge him for being a goof and that you will do the same.
    Actually, act like you know him, be goofy, be fun. It rubs off in people. Im really shy, and its way easier to open up and be confident when you're around people who are confident and act as if they've know you for years. They make that feel true :)
    But if you don't think you're ready to start looking for that deeper connection in people don't feel like you have to. You can be young and have fun too :)

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What Guys Said 6

  • believe it or not, people who are nice and have a high self esteem exist!

    You can't FORCE yourself to like something you don't, that ain't gonna work. Likewise if you put up with a guy that's an ass, that ain't gonna work either, albeit for different reasons.

    Try to find nice, confident, and attractive. They exist. Trust me.

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  • Emotions aren't directly controllable. But, you can change them indirectly by changing your views. So, I think, you can make yourself like this nice guy.

    However, should you? I don't think so. It's not your fault that this guy has low self-esteem. Many guys these days do, by the way.

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  • You can't make yourself like someone. Please dump him.

    If you think about it, the problem is he trying so hard to get you right? but what happen after he got you? Would he still be trying so hard everyday for the rest of his life for you? probably not. That the REAL problem. You will then get hurt, AGAIN, but much later down the road..

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  • instead of running out on him because he's not the full package already how about you GIVE him a reason to have better confidence in himself?

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  • The reason why people like that have low self confidence is partly due to the lack of female attention that we get, thus making us think we are inferior, give him time

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  • If you give him a chance his self esteem will likely improve. It's having girls lose interest over and over again that reinforces that.

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What Girls Said 0

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