Being someone's first girlfriend?

A long description but bear with me here

I've been friends with my now boyfriend for about 5 years, since the 7th grade. We're now both seniors in high school. As far as I know, I'm his first girlfriend. He's always been very reclusive. He has no problem talking around me and with people he knows, but around strangers or too many people for his comfort level he shuts down and quite obviously becomes very anxious. I, myself, have an anxiety disorder, so I pick up pretty well at his little ticks and behaviours. I could tell that he had a bit of a crush on me for a while now. As far as affection has gone, it's been pretty subtle stuff. Putting his head on my shoulder and vice versa and just affectionate hugs. We have to take a class at the community college down here to meet graduation requirements, so last night I gave him a ride home for the first time. I stayed for a while and we just stayed talking and watching tv. I asked him before I left if he wanted to take it further and we officially started dating last night. Today in class was a bit tense for us. I've had a few relationships, usually where I've been the reclusive one. I'm not sure how to go about this. I don't want to overstep his boundaries and push him out of his comfort zone too fast. In my last relationship, I was used to being told what to do. I was used to him telling me when he wanted me to go over, what he wanted (kissing, holding hands, shit like that) etc. I just really have no idea what the hell I'm supposed to do. I want to see him but I've always been afraid of inviting myself somewhere when they don't actually want me there and I'm really afraid of moving too fast for him. Any help? I know I'm thinking way too much about this I'm just really not sure about this kind of stuff


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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • I think you're overthinking this but you did mention you have an anxiety disorder, so this is common.

    I suggest sitting down with him and talking with him. You two can comfortably talk with each other, right? Just let him know what you want and are looking for and ask him what he wants and is looking for. Make it clear to set boundaries - what is and isn't okay. That way you both never have to worry about over-stepping any boundaries at all. Communication is key and you have to be honest and clear.

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  • I am my boyfriends first girlfriend and nothing has been different

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