I'm 20 and am kinda into a 35 year old, but I kind of feel like he thinks he would never have a chance with me because of age. How old are you and what age is the youngest girl you'd date, assuming you both got along very well and the relationship was genuine?
Most Helpful Guy
It varies from person to person. I'm a little north of 35, but I was there recently, haha. 20... iffy. I mean, from an attraction standpoint, sure, no problem. I don't think there will ever be an age when girls that age won't LOOK GOOD to me, but when we're talking practicality of relationships, if assume that would be a tough situation. From my end, the first thing I'd consider is the public perception. At my age, many people would probably look at me like I was taking advantage of a young girl, or that it's creepy for me to show any type of attraction. That depends on the person, some people do the "age is just a number" thing, others are weirded out by even a five year age difference. The younger you are, the more those gaps matter and the larger they seem. Like if an 18 year old was with a 25 year old I, or someone else, might question the 25 year old's motives. But if I, at 37, dated a 30 year old, would you even think anything of it? Same age difference, but once you're far removed from childhood you realize we're all adults here. All that said, I would probably hook up with a 20 year old in the right situation, but a relationship, that might work in the present, but when I'm 47 and she's still only 30, is she still going to want to be with me? You just can't be shortsighted is all. Also, to your point, any 20 year old girl I knew now, I'd kind of just assume they'd think I was too old for them, so I might not even let my mind wander down that road in the first place. So he might think you like him in a friendly way, and he may even like you romantically, but just has it ruled out in his head. Anyway, if I were to be realistic, 25+ is probably what I should be shooting for in terms of relationships and being in the same places in life. Like if she's 20, she might want to go out a lot, maybe on unconventional nights due to being in school and not working full time. Meanwhile, I have Friday and Saturday night for that, every other night I need to be home and ready to wind down to get up early for my 9-5 job. So if probably bore the hell out of the average 20 year old, even if we were cool with the age gap. I wouldn't rule it out altogether, everything is case by case, but that's my guess.1
Most Helpful Girl
I had a lot of run-ins with older men in general I don't like them or I haven't liked the ones who were after me, they can be too controlling and possessive. They also tended to view my age as a fetish for them and tried to get sexual too fast, Plus I found that age doesn't always = maturity. I do have a few older male (and female) friends though just because of my interests in writing and playwriting. Also because of the fact that I like to run in academic social circles and many academic types are older obviously. I am glad I chose someone my own age but I like older men as friends and mentors. It could certainly work with the right person though but there are always challenges!0