So I went on few dates with a guy who is extremely fit. He trains, works out, eats healthy, he has a beautiful face and cares about his appearance A LOT.
I, on the other hand, am not AS fit. I'm not chubby either nor skinny, I'd say my body is average. I have a back problem (got it years ago from an injury while I was training a professional teakwondo) and I practically can't do any sport anymore. I also can't do hard fitness, because I would risk getting injured again. I only go to gym sometimes. But I eat healthy and all that stuff, it's not like I'm not taking care of my body at all. I have a pretty face (at least I get told all the time) and in all honestly I almost never had difficulty getting a guy.
Anyways, he hasn't made any move on me and I started to wonder why. In the end he told me that he is not over his ex yet and that he thinks I'm the coolest person ever and that he would like us to just be friends for now, because he doesn't want to fuck things up. I kinda bought this bullshit and agreed to stay friends. But then he told one of our mutual friend (he didn't know that that friend knows me) that "I would be perfect if only I was fit" and that that turned him off, that he wants a fit girl.
How is this supposed to make me feel? I honestly feel fat and ugly now. And I think he is a jerk with an unrealistic standards. Is not being fit seriously a dealbreaker? I considered starting with hard workout even though it will reawaken my back pain and just screw everything just so I would get fit for him, but then again, is it worth it?
Most Helpful Guy
For some people (both genders) physical fitness is extremely important to them and they want a partner who feels the same and has the same lifestyle. A lot of women have rejected guys for this very same reason. Just move on, he's not the right guy for you. Yes it amazes me to the people who are like this, that this would actually be a deal breaker over everything else about them, personality etc but to some, yes. You don't want a person like that anyway so good riddance I say.1
Most Helpful Girl
Listen to me when I say this. If you want to get fit for yourself, then do that for you and your own health, but doing it for some guy, who clearly didn't even have the balls to say it to your face the real reasons, should tell you something. The way you're feeling about yourself now and your self esteem should tell you something. I have health issues myself and people I'm dating have to understand that I can only do what I can physically do, not for lack of trying or wanting to do more than I can. Dating someone is accepting who they are right there in front of you, not trying to make them into someone else that they'd prefer. I mean if he didn't want to date you for that crazy reason, then why did he bother if he knows he has a certain type. That's not on you, that's on him. So pick yourself up off the floor, and remind yourself how freaking great you are. Clearly if as you've said you have no problems getting a guy, then this is just an unfortunate speed bump on the road, so keep it moving.2