This what happened I think she is really beautiful and I regretted letting her see my ex
Most Helpful Girl
lmao oh god. this is the worst thing I've ever read. You didn't really mess up, I know what you meant. She does, too. It's obvious. She's just feeling bad about herself and looking for reasons to self-loathe. There was no reply to that message that would make her feel good about herself, you know?
A few things are important: you were right to try and take the conversation away from her comparing her looks to the other girls'. That's very destructive for her. Even if you say 'no, you are much better looking than her, blah blah' and she believes you (she wouldn't), it'd just reinforce the anxiety to look good (to look better than the other girl), blah blah.
She already knows you didn't mean to say that, so don't worry about convincing her. If it comes up in the future, try not to play the game of sorrows at all. Honestly, I really don't have a good solution to this problem. I've never been in a serious relationship and not had this situation come up. I think all girls have explosive episodes of self-loathing; it's a response to trauma (and all girls are traumatized). I have never found a good way of dealing with this.
Make sure to compliment her a lot when she's *not* feeling like this, I think. Because here's the thing: when she most needs the reassurance, reassurance won't help her. As with all things fate is cruel. But she won't believe a word you say when she feels like this. Better to take her by surprise - 'hey, uhm... you're really beautiful, you know?' - and make her feel good *when she's with you*, in general. At your best you can be a moment away from the pressure and anxiety of the world for her, where she doesn't need to worry about what people think. But it takes a very long time to get to that stage.
Anyway, that's my advice. It's not very good, sorry. Relationships are pretty rough! But you did good, champ, believe me! Good luck!2