Why have I never had any luck with women?

I'm 20 and never have had a girlfriend. I'm very successful in other areas of my life. I'm very smart and go to an excellent college. I am on track to have a great career. I'm not the most social person in the world, but I do have plenty of close friends. I'd like to think I'm reasonably good looking and fashionable. I'm 5' 8" and 145 lbs.

Unfortunately, I've never kissed a girl or even gone on a date, let alone ever had a girlfriend. This really gets me down sometimes. Sometimes I feel like the world's left me behind.

I guess I'm just curious if anyone has any advice to offer.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think being social doesn't always equal to getting a girlfriend.

    However I do think it would be a good idea to show an interest

    in social settings and maybe go out once in a while. I didn't

    have my first boyfriend until I was 20, and we're still together

    and he is not a very social person, while I on the other hand

    really enjoy talking to just about anyone I can, but do not like

    partying. It all depends on what kind of socializing you want

    to involve yourself in. Exposing yourself to it would be a good

    idea, remember the fact that you're 20 doesn't mean you've

    missed the train or are never going to get a girlfriend, the right

    girl might just show up one day in a class and talk to you.

    Just be yourself and expose yourself more to the social

    world and have fun and I am sure a girl will notice all that

    you have to offer.

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What Girls Said 3

  • You need to learn how to be more social if you're going to get a girlfriend!

    That comes first.

    Meet as many people as you can.

    Go to clubs or just try to get your guy friends to introduce you to people.

    Not just girls, but anyone who can potentially introduce you to someone.

    Hope that helps!

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  • You seem attractive to me...By fashionable what do nu mean? Girls might think you're gay if you're too fashionable. That may be the cause.

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    • GAY ??

      I asked like 30 women if they think fashionable guys are gay,, they all said that sh*t abt,, we like the guy to know how to dress, and sh*t,,

      i even asked this Q here.

      GAY ??

      I ain't wearing sh*tty clothes and tees just to get a GF..

      thats just too much

      amma dress up, put on my tie,, and hommies over hoes.

      we'll see who chases who when I become a surgeon-engineer-pilot..

      sorry I got mad,

    • Lol, I don't think that's my problem. By fashionable I mean that I make an effort to keep my wardrobe up to date (with a lot of help from my sister) rather than just walk around in sweats.

    • What I meant by too fashionable is gucchi and such. Gay stuff. Not dressing nicely.

  • Probably because you're not social. Having close guy friends is good but if you want to up your chances at meeting girls and getting into relationships, you're going to have to meet a lot of women.

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    • ...and how do I get started on that?

What Guys Said 3

  • Hello,

    Women arnt going to come to you my freind.. remember men chase and women chose, ie you need to go to her and she will decide if your worth her time. your going to get shot down a few times so don't worrie this happens to the best of us.. (heck Brad Pitt and Gerry Butler have been rejected before).. so don't let it get to you just move on to the next girl, get there number wait 5 - 9 days then ask them out on a date. keep it someware like starbuck for a coffee, just an hour nothing majour, keep the talk funny and light, (be like jim carry, you want to be like the class clown) after this wait another 7 days and ask her out again, you keep this up and she will start to fall for you as long as your cock, flirt, funny and light on your feet

    Good Luck

    -Chris

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  • keep trying really, really hard. you won't find an answer from women - trust me all the advice I've had from them has just led me astray. I think that, although women are great once they are in a relationship, the effort for even the least attractive most unpersonal woman to find a man is essentially zero compared to what we must do, so they don't really know a thing about what its like for us, even though its them that cast our lot. that's just our end of the deal - its not all sweetness and pie for them either (think childbirth if you are doubtful they have anything hard - so many men seem to be that way), but starting out we definately have the bum end of the deal. I expect 1 in 1000 women I try it on with to kiss me - 1 in 2000 will lead to a girlfriend, and that's the real figures from my life rounded down to the nearest 1000s.

    maybe you will have it better, you are at least reasonably slim, fashionable and sociable - I am not - I'm a little overweight, I'm too poor to be fashionable and a terrible childhood has made socialising extremely difficult for me - I'd like to hope you can experience some less soul destroying figures.

    On the flipside 1 in 2 women I approach treat me as if I'm not even attractive enough to talk to, let alone treat me with respect or anything better... in total what that means is that almost every single attempt results in a knock to the confidence, and about half of those are severe knocks. Just suck it up and keep going...

    good luck

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  • I'm 22 and never had a girlfriend, it is so damn frustrating, I hate how us guys always have to initiate.

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