Why is it harder for men to work things out with a cheater?

[CelineBV]

I've never cheated on anyone and I'm not a forgiving woman either but I've noticed differences in the genders:

From a couple observations, it's almost impossible for the male to get past that. Even if he stays with her, he never really recovers. In women, some of them would want to work things as long as he doesn't admit loving the other woman more than her.

If a man cheats on a woman, he can do the BS of showering her with gifts, do his smooth talking technique and tried convincing her. He has a 50% chance she'll take him back. But if we cheat on a man, good luck trying to buy him an expensive liquor, cooking his favorite meal or using BS words. He won't listen to any of that BS. In his mind, nothing takes away the fact that she cheated and let another guy touch her. The woman probably has a 10-20% chance he'll take her back. If he actually walked in on her cheating, that greatly reduces it to a 1-3% chance.

I want to understand the male mind. Why is it harder for men (more than women) to work things out with a cheater?

Updates

1 y

Many people won't take back cheaters but even among the few people that reconcile with their cheating partner, more women than men are willing to work things out.

[abc3643]

This is an excellent question the actual answer would take a several thousand words to adequate explain, so you deserve better than what I am about to write.

====
The answer lies in what men really want and need in a woman.
Believe it or not, no, it's not sex.
It's safety and loyalty.

A man is evolved not to trust anyone really - especially other males.
In a sense, each man considers every other man as a potential enemy.
We do not reveal much information about ourselves and generally don't talk much or show weakness.

Now, when I man is in a relationship, he will BEGIN to lower his guard.
If a man is in complete total real love, he trusts his woman 100%.
She is his shelter from the storm.
She is the castle that enables him to rest and lower his stress from the constant stress of the "battles" of life outside the home.

So, when I woman cheats, it isn't so much that some other guy has his dick in her.
It's that she has been intimate with an enemy!
She likely has revealed information about her man to the other guy - information that can be used by that enemy to defeat him.
It is like she is a traitorous spy.

So, when a woman cheats and her man becomes aware of it, just move on.
She will NEVER regain his trust again. EVER.
She has become the enemy and, furthermore, he is angry at himself for being stupid enough to trust her AND being inadequate for her that she did that.

[abc3643]

I actually wrote a longer - but incomplete answer a day ago. I was busy all day today (it is 23:25 CDT 01 S OCT 2022, as I type) so I never got to adequately finish it.

If you have any questions, you are free to PM me.
Again, I am sorry that I could not give you a more elaborative answer here.

[CelineBV]

That's a great analogy to be honest. It makes sense.

[Jamie05rhs]

@abc3643 VERY well said, sir!

[abc3643]

@CelineBV

I just remembered: I do not write many MyTakes, but I did about 2 years ago about the male mind.

This is the MyTake which you should read because it elaborates on what I wrote above in attempting to answer your question.
MEN 101: Why men are quiet and do not easily reveal what they are thinking or feeling. ↗
In particular:
"Why cheating on a man is both bad and dangerous.

Suppose you cheat on your man.
You know why your man gets upset?
It's not another guy's dick in you.

It's that you shared a bed with another man and may have told that man intimate things about your man - the man you just cheated on. To your man, that other man may be the enemy! Or, at least a potential enemy... In fact, NOW he IS the enemy... and now that other man may have the information about your man that you gave to the other man - who may then use that information against your man.

You violated trustworthiness and loyalty that your man had with you and, in his mind, now you may have hastened his ruin. This is why loyalty and trustworthiness are paramount with men. Much more than sex.

This is exactly why crimes of passion in generations past when men killed their cheating wives and her lover were common and accepted and, often, not even punished. Men intuitively understand this concept even if they can't explain it in words. For some men, at an instinctive level, the only way to feel safe is to kill anyone who has information that can be used against him and that now includes his new enemies: his woman and the man she is cheating with."

[Jamie05rhs]

@abc3643 Maybe this is why most modern marriages don't have the intimacy that they could have. Because people just don't trust their partners. Because they know that they are not trustworthy.

[Anonymous]

I think there is truth in what MrOracle said (as usual). But I also think it comes down to some basic human instincts, and they're the same ones that also make men less forgiving of promiscuity in women. I've talked with a lot of guys about this and most have said some version of the same thing... we know in our bones that promiscuous women make poor mothers and mates, and real life statistics show that to be true.

It's no secret women have intuition in areas men don't understand. In this particular instance it is men who have intuition that women don't understand. We men get a lot of grief for valuing innocence and purity in women, but there is an evolutionary reason behind that. Ultimately we men are attracted to traits in women, both physical and otherwise, that make a woman a good mate and mother to our children. Promiscuity goes against that, whether it be a promiscuous past or cheating. We know deep in our souls that when a woman does those things, she is disqualified.

My question as a man is, why don't women hold men to the same standard men hold women?

[CelineBV]

I've also wondered about your question and is indeed a good one. Personally I don't understand the logic of some women taking back cheaters. I'd rather be poor and alone than be with a rich cheater. My own dignity and self-esteem is worth more to me than getting treated so poorly, than being with someone I can't trust.
It's sad women don't hold men to that same standard. It's logically and straight to the point, you cheat you're disqualified. The way they function is that as long as the man doesn't fall in love with the other woman or doesn't end up loving her more than his girlfriend/wife and wants to reconcile after cheating, then she considers forgiving him. Since we're base on bonding and emotions as a foundation of a relationship (to us generally there needs to be bonding to be involved with a man; we're not very good at doing sex free of feelings), a man not just cheating but also falling for another woman is a direct strike to her heart, to her ego and a blow they can't recover from. He killed her soul right there. More women than men tend to react badly to an emotional affair. That's more unforgivable to her than a physical affair. That's the only time no amount of buying her flowers and gifts will work. Since men are the gatekeepers of commitment, a man falling in love with another woman for us is the equivalent of how men feel when their woman (gatekeepers of sex) got intimate with another man.

Needless to say, I fail to understand that logic. For me if someone cheats, that to me is the equivalent of a worker that got caught stealing at his workplace. That worker already failed from during the trial period process. Same with a relationship... if they fail during a relationship, that's not someone I would want as the father of my kids. Then again, I'm straight to the point. My stance is ''You cheat, get lost, bye''.

[CelineBV]

That being said, I read about a case about a woman getting taken back. Even if the man tries forgiving, he never recovers and this is likely how it would be like:
www.talkaboutmarriage.com/.../
Apparently the woman is remorseful about it but still was that man an idiot?

[Opinion Owner]

I agree with all of that. If someone cheats, they are gone, and I think that should be true for both sexes. Anyone who cheats has character issues that disqualify them, period.

[Pinay_ako]

If and when a woman cheats, it’s usually emotional rather than just the physical. If and when a man cheats, it’s mostly physical. So when the woman does the deed, she’s into it body and soul. But I can’t speak for everyone else. I just don’t jump into bed just to fuck. I need to be in love with you or nothing.

[YourFutureEx]

⚠Caution⚠

Read this post only if you are willing to listen to truth and agree that what I write won't hurt your feelings because you posted a question to seek answers and not validation to your personal beliefs.

❗Disclaimer❕

Whatever I am writing is not meant to target any specific person or group of people. Whatever I write should not be taken as a universal fact because human beings are very complex creatures and they exhibit a wide variety of personalities and characteristics making each individual different. However, they're all subject to similar potential because of similar evolutionary path.

Furthermore, in no way, I'm encouraging or justifying cheating. In my opinion, it's an abhorrent act.

💬Answer💬

When a man cheats, he is not cheating because he doesn't love his woman. He is cheating for novelty. It is in our instincts to impregnate as many women as we can. That's why we're capable of producing so much amount of sperm, while women produce only one egg at a time. Therefore men get that urge. A man can cheat on his woman while still loving her

On the flip side, women cheat because they don't feel loved. When a woman cheats, it means she doesn't love her man anymore and has lost respect for him. Therefore, they get this motivation to seek a better man who can make her feel fulfilled and end up with a better choice.

Men are naturally demotivated to accept infidelity because cheating can involuntarily and unknowingly make them raise an illegitimate child. That's why they feel an incomparable disgust towards their cheating partner.

While women, "may" accept a cheating man because the man has been validated by other women to be good enough to have sex with. Approval of other women is a big factor in the overall attraction. Consciously, women will hate it, but subconsciously, somewhere deep down, that fulfills one of the criteria.

Personally, I have been cheated once and I felt a unique kind of disgust towards her. Not because of the aforementioned facts that I'll raise some illegitimate child. It was some natural response. I didn't even want to touch her hand, let alone being with her. I moved on, but I never managed to forgive/forget. We're just wired to be like that.

[CelineBV]

Very nicely explained. No matter what year is it and even if protective methods has long been created and the woman doesn't get pregnant, the instinct reminds the same. Some things never changed.
Good for leaving the cheater. I actually feel like laughing at the women taking back the cheater. Even if he was the last man on earth, I'd rather be alone than with bad company. Being alone is better than being with a cheater. Someone lacking integrity and honesty is enough for me to walk away.

[YourFutureEx]

Integrity is far more precious and better than marrying a cheater even if he's a billionaire Mr. World. You can get back pretty much anything except your integrity.

Hope you find a loyal and loving partner.
Thank you for the response.

[CelineBV]

Exactly and you're welcome.
Here is a story about a female cheater that got taken back. The guy later on still marries her. Was he an idiot:
www.talkaboutmarriage.com/.../

[YourFutureEx]

The wounds might heal, but the scars won't. It'll forever be visible in the relationship. Cheating leaves everlasting scars.

[YourFutureEx]

Check this out lol

www.instagram.com/.../?igshid=MDJmNzVkMjY=

[Dinklex3]

On the female side...

A friend of mine's boyfriend cheated.

He wanted to end things with her, but SHE BEGGED for him to take her back even though HE cheated on her.

The main reason was because her goal and main priority was to be married and become a wife. He was the only thing she'd brag about in her life and he was the only man she's been with. She "invested" years into the relationship with him and he took care of her financially. So she begged and catered to him for about a month and they were together again 🤷🏾‍♀️

[CelineBV]

Staying with a cheater just because you're afraid of being alone and your biological clock ticking is sad. Honestly, even if I were older and into my 30's, I'd rather be alone than with a cheater. Many other men that don't cheat are better than a cheater.

[Dinklex3]

It really is. She was 23 at the time.
And same. Everyone has different priorities though. She sadly had low self esteem as well and didn't think she could do better.
It's sad what people are willing to put up with just to have a partner.

[CelineBV]

How old is she now? Does she knows she's so far from getting proposed? If a woman has to invest years into a relationship, he's never going to marry her. She's wasting more time.

[Dinklex3]

She's turning 30. They're actually already engaged and are supposed to get married this year.
I agree though and doubt they'll get married.

[CelineBV]

I feel sorry for her. There is another trick some men will do to waste the woman's time, a prolonged engagement. They will propose but keep the woman as a fiancee for more than a year. Tell her not to fall for that either.

[Dinklex3]

She already knows that I hate him, lol (ever since he cheated.. before that actually).
I've already given her my thoughts on the subject because they were supposed to be married last year as well. 🤷🏾‍♀️
She's an adult and will learn and do whatever when she's ready.

[Jamie05rhs]

@Dinklex3 Wow

[CelineBV]

I guess she'll learn the hard way.

[MrOracle]

Here's why:

A lot of the time that men cheat (not EVERY case, obviously), he's cheating JUST for sex. This is especially true if he's not getting sex at home. He makes no commitment to the side chick, expends no resources on her, and may not even know her name. His dick is cheating, but his heart is not.

For women, the situation is the opposite - the vast majority of the time women cheat, they are emotionally involved, and the guy they are cheating with is a guy they plan to replace their current guy with. Again, not all cases, but most.

That's a major difference and is the biggest reason that men are far less likely to forgive cheating.

[CelineBV]

That seems logical. The equivalent of hurting a woman to the point she refuses to work it out would be if the man actually develops feelings for the other woman (if his cheating also included an emotional affair) or admits to loving her more than his girlfriend/wife. Then that would totally devastated the woman and likely feel the same as those men that don't forgive.

[MrOracle]

Right.

When a man is in love with a woman, his sex with her usually has an emotional component as it does for women, but men can have sex with women they have no feelings for, and THAT sex is merely a pleasurable experience that satisfies a need - like a midnight sandwich. Having sex in that situation usually means no emotional involvement at all.

Most women (and, yes, exceptions exist) cannot have emotion-free sex, even if they want to, and even if they try. And so it's harder for women to understand why men can - but it's true, we can. And many women DO realize this once they're forced to think about it.

On the other hand, the vast majority of men KNOW that women can't have emotion-free sex - when women have sex, it MEANS SOMETHING to her - and in most cases, it means she's lining up his replacement. That's a much deeper betrayal.

Again, I'm not saying that no men do this, because we know that some do (and they're overwhelmingly the hot/popular/high-status men), but it's still the exception for men.

[whiskeyontherocks]

I agree if a woman cheat’s there’s likely a emotional connection
Other factors that are less likely to cause men to give up…
it’s the risk of not knowing who’s child you’re raising if you decide to have kids.
There’s also the likelihood that she has neglected him while cheating.
It’s easier for a woman to cheat than a man
Probably a few I’m missing

[Jamie05rhs]

@MrOracle That's complete garbage. Your heart IS your dick! And if you misbehave with your dick and give it to someone else, you're breaking HER heart!!

[MrOracle]

@Jamie05rhs I was endorsing or excusing cheating. I agree with you that all cheating is always wrong. I've said this a thousand times here on GaG - and at least twice yesterday, so I didn't mention it again on this post.

But that's not the point of my reply. Rather, I was explaining that in most cases, men cheating and women cheating are quite different. For most men, it's JUST sex, and it doesn't mean he has any feelings for the girl he's cheating with. For most women, it means she has feelings for the guy she's cheating with. That's a very real difference.

That still doesn't justify cheating, but it DOES explain why women are more tolerant of cheating than men are - which was exactly the question asked.

[Jamie05rhs]

@MrOracle Even if it is "just sex," THAT DOESN'T MATTER. He is BETRAYING her!

[CelineBV]

@Jamie05rhs
Yeah for me it wouldn't make any difference. For me it would be the same end result: he lost me forever.
Though I understand his explanation. He was trying to explain the differences in reaction between the genders. The men have a harder time forgiving because the woman ends up having feelings for the other man most of the times (we're bad at having sex with no feelings) meanwhile more men are capable to separate sex from feelings.

[MrOracle]

@Jamie05rhs "Even if it is "just sex," THAT DOESN'T MATTER. He is BETRAYING her!"

Why do you think I disagree with this? I agree!

But that's not the question that was asked, was it? I was answering @CelineBV 's question, and clearly she was able to understand my answer. I'm not sure why you're having so much trouble.

[Jamie05rhs]

@CelineBV. I understand what you're saying. But I don't give a shit if she has feelings or not. To me it's exactly the same. Cheating is cheating.

[Chris_Morgan]

I think for me it was because I had been with her since we were 21 years old and she was basically my best friend. To find out that she cheated on me after being together for 15 years was quite shocking. Especially since we have a child together and it definitely wasn't something I was prepared for, or even thought was possible with her. To be honest it wasn't the cheating that was so hard to deal with (Sex is sex, and we were still having lots of sex) it was the fact that she lied to me about going on a work trip and she neglected our child when he was sick. She made things extremely difficult. I had to take our child to work with me while he had an ear infection and a terrible fever in the middle of winter because his mother took off with some loser. Things like that really made me see her as somebody not worth putting up with. she broke my heart and I didn't even trust her as a mother or even a friend anymore.

[CelineBV]

That's horrible and yes I don't blame you for feeling that way. She didn't just failed as your life partner but as a mother too. She failed to be with your child, the most important person in her life, for any mother.

[Chris_Morgan]

Yes, and she just became a total liar, and didn't want the responsibility of marriage or being a parent anymore. I felt disgusted laying beside her at night and I just couldn't believe that she of all people would do that to me. I basically grew up with her and we had been through everything together. I would've died for her and I thought she loved me more than that. With her that was a very deep betrayal in my eyes, but maybe I didn't know how to handle it either. Now I'm older and I think my future relationships are gonna be different. I'm not gonna expect anything from my girlfriends, I'm just gonna compete for her attention and may the best man win.

[CelineBV]

Try taking your time with another future relationship. Meanwhile still have standards, never place too much high expectations. If you don't expect too much, love will come your way and maybe you'll meet a good, faithful woman. We're still out there.

[Chris_Morgan]

I hope so too, I just don't think I can love with my guard down like I used to. I need a different approach.
I need to hope for the best and prepare for the worst next time.
I can't get so comfortable and busy, and just assume that rings and vows are forever. I need to stay on top of my relationships and make sure she's as happy 10 years into it as she was when we met.

[RiseofArtemis]

It's biological. A cheating wife or girlfriend could become pregnant by the one she cheated with and that would cause the Male she is primarily with to lose His ability to have his own children, His resources are waisted on someones bastard child. I Wish we could know just by the smell who our child really is that could fix a lot of the modern cheating whores to stop doing it. Male lions kill other lions cubs to have their own and man did I wish we would have that too biologicaly programmed in us.

Women are more likely to ignore cheating because their survival insticts are overriding their comon sense to search a better partner who is loyal and takes his time to find resources instead of running after other women. Both are not good and both should be punished heavily if they cheat, even with the death sentence.

[themoz]

Controversial take but it has to do with evolutionary mechanics of selection.

Women select based on protection.

Men select based on pride.

In modernity these are silly... but it's still somewhat engrained. It's why even though women under 35 have better careers than men still are looking for men to pay for things... even though it's completely illogical. We associate monetary value as safety the same way a primitive would be good with a club to fend off tigers.

So for a man, being cheated on is the ultimate insult. A dagger right in the pride muscle. We want love probably more than women do, and in some ways are more emotional.

[DavidRaul]

I don't think a cheater should ever be trusted, be it a man or woman. If they cheat once, they are gonna do it again. So women shouldn't try to reconcile their relationship, its gonna end the same way. Its that simple

[CelineBV]

Definitely agree to that. Even if they don't cheat ever again, the damage is already done. The relationship will ever be the same again.

[DavidRaul]

Exactly true

[virginloserguy]

Well, he is a winner. You would not want to date a loser. Just be happy he has the confidence to do it.

Confident guys are good men to date. It is why they are desired.

[CelineBV]

True. As a woman, I fail to understand the idiotic logic of some women taking back cheaters. It seems like you guys are actually straight to the point. Trying to BS a man with his favorite meal, a good expensive liquor or sweet words wouldn't convince him at all (the trick male cheaters do to win the woman back) and she'll likely get dumped and blocked.

In the rare case the male does takes her back, I believe this is what happens:
www.talkaboutmarriage.com/.../
Here is a woman's story of how her now husband took her back when he was her boyfriend.

[CelineBV]

In that story, she got caught cheating with the guy's friend, they broke up, they reconcile later on and got married. The supposedly forgave her and tried working it out but later on, he expresses his hatred towards her and likely cheated back in revenge.

[virginloserguy]

Well, that is what happens you try to get back together. You disturbed the flow and realized the honey period was over, and you could see your incompatibilities. They try to get back together, hoping it will be better, but the honey period does not return, and all passion is lost. People tend to just free float in emotion when looking for a relationship. One plays tennis, and another plays baseball. Both have nothing every day, and they hope to make it work. It

[CelineBV]

The cheating itself already destroyed the innocent, honey period. In act, cheating actually killed the previous relationship, the one that had no cheating. The relationship will obviously never be the same. I believe it's always better for anyone getting cheated on to move on.
I think all this ''but the relationship can get stronger than ever'', nope. I don't think it'll ever be as stronger as pre-cheating period.

[virginloserguy]

You are right. They were just agreeable at the beginning. They never showed each other true selves. They were always hiding things from each other to make themselves believe they had the perfect relationship. That is why it is always good to express your feelings and stop trying to impress others. Impress yourself and let the right person find you. If they are the right person, they will accept you.

[Anonymous]

Simply put, men are smarter.

Men know if a woman cheats on you SHE WILL DO IT AGAIN. It's only a matter of time.

Women conversely have bonding issues. Women deal with EVERYTHING through the prism of EMOTION. Guys know when a woman is bonded to her she'll have hard time breaking that bond. It's a biological thing that women have developed for the necessity of breeding. If women didn't bond to men they would toss them out everytime they did something really stupid. And we guys do a lot of stupid things to women. 🤣🤣🤣

[CelineBV]

I'm still laughing at the amount of women taking back cheaters to be honest. I was kind of a tomboy during my early years. I think that must be part of the reason my stance on a man cheating on me is an ''You cheat (I don't care if it was an emotional or physical affair, same results), you're out''.

Someone cheating to me is the same as a worker stealing from his workplace. He would get fired immediately.

Ok, I'm laughing at this story too... isn't that guy the definition of a simp:
www.talkaboutmarriage.com/.../
Basically whoever that girl is cheats with the guy's friend
They break up and then he takes her back
Then he still marries her years later and they have a child... LMAO

[CelineBV]

With the exception of those few simps, yes you men are simple creatures and straight to the point. There is no fixing cheating by buying them gifts or applying the idiotic logic of ''well as long as they don't fall in love with the other person, I'm going to work it out''.

[Opinion Owner]

I agree, I think cheating should be an automatic dismissal for both genders. When someone takes a cheater back I cannot respect them. Because I can't respect people who cannot respect themselves. And someone who takes a cheater back lacks self respect.

[Anonymous]

because the betrayal his feelings got hurt lack of loyalty and trust with a guy he pours his heart and soul into someone he loves just to see it betrayed and stomped on like she doesn't care she acts selfish especially if it's a repeated pattern of hers. when a guy loves a woman he loves her and when she betrays him that love and loyalty he had for her turns into hate anger resentment fear sadness depression all the hurt and pain his whole world gets shattered in a million pieces and all he wants to do is die at that point. he hates her but also loves her at the same time an oxymoron a huge contradiction but true

[CelineBV]

Like the man in this story:
www.talkaboutmarriage.com/.../
This is what happens if the woman literally gets caught cheating but still forgives.

[CelineBV]

While the woman got lucky she got taken back, but at what cost? The man never really recovered from that betrayal years later.

[Opinion Owner]

I still haven't and the more she does it the more it hurts

[ghstbade23]

People might think i am biased, but women tend to forgive men for their mistakes more because it is hard to find a man with stable income and a sense of security while a man that has been providing for the woman and protecting her would feel devastated and wouldn't look at her the same because of how long and hard they've worked to keep this couple going and to make her happy, (hard working and long part mostly works for couples without kids, if you do have a child and take care of it ALONE then that would be a different story since the woman would be staying at home with the child), mostly if said woman didn't give him emotional support or a reward after that long day of work and stress (like constantly rejecting sex and creating unnecessary arguments, which are two things that happen quite frequently in couples these days, rejecting sex once in a while for genuine pain or tiredness is acceptable of course).

[ghstbade23]

id like to add that women cheat for money or to feel wanted, they do not love that man if they do cheat, while men can cheat while still loving said woman. Id like to clarify that cheating is not okay in my book, wether its a man or woman it is never okay to cheat, leave the person if you want to cheat.

[CelineBV]

Personally I'd rather be alone than with a cheater. I believe integrity and honesty is far more important than wealth. I'll take a faithful poor man over a rich cheater any time.

That being said I wonder why this woman cheated:
www.talkaboutmarriage.com/.../
Do you agree this guy was an idiot to take her back?

[DermalPunch]

So how do you explain the droves of women taking back broke ass cheating liars?

[ghstbade23]

I agree its better to be alone than with a cheater. I agree with you, an honest poor man is way better than a cheating and lying rich man. Now i dont know why that woman cheated, she might not have felt wanted and didn't get enough attention from her man so she decided to go for his friend, that she might have been attracted to.
I personally would never take back a cheater, (thats my opinion tho some relationships work amazingly after infidelity but id rather not take the risk), wether it was because she was drunk or a mistake. She was the one that decided to drink and make herself vulnerable by drinking and mistakes aren't as grave as sleeping with the person or kissing, mistakes are usually flirting with the person or being too touchy.

[ghstbade23]

@DermalPunch I have no idea thats just being dumb, they might be attracted to the toxicity or dont want to be single. I genuinely can't find a reason these women dont just leave and find someone better.

[CelineBV]

Yeah I'm with you on that one. My stance if a man cheats on me is a simple ''You cheat, you're out, get lost'' straight to the point. I don't do the BS of ''but as long as it was just physical and you don't love the other woman more than me, I'll forgive'' NOPE.
Straight to the point, you cheat (regardless of whether it was a physical or emotional affair), you're out.

[ThinkFitness23]

A man cheats and a woman will be upset but she wants to know am I still your No.1 (in some cases).


A woman cheats and the men are hurt, male pride publicly damaged, ego in tatters and insecurities are heightened or born. He thinks about sex on average more than her and so is reminded of this constantly.

The answer to this is complex, the male brain in terms of sexual drive is 5 times larger than that of our female counterparts on average.

[HighValue]

Because men are more likely to actually love their partner so they get hurt more. Women are more likely to LIKE their partner and stay in a relationship because of what he provides for her and she isn't as hurt because she didn't actually love him.

[Jamie05rhs]

Because that's the one thing a woman is supposed to do in a relationship. Be faithful! If she can't even do that, them what is she good for? Why am I in a relationship with this person?

[CelineBV]

Good point. Men don't ask for too much requirements (unlike we; there is more in our list) except fidelity.
I'm wondering what this guy saw in her... he took the cheater back and years later even married her:
www.talkaboutmarriage.com/.../

[Jamie05rhs]

Thanks.

Hmm. Not sure. Let me look at the link.

[Jamie05rhs]

@CelineBV I think that dude probably got bad advice from some people who told him to give her another chance. The reality is that once a betrayal happens, there is no going back. Things will never ever be the same.

[CelineBV]

The bad news is that if he indeed cheated back on her or wants out, it's going to be tough with a child. He's going to lose whereas when they were just boyfriend and girlfriend, he could've left easily. Now it won't be easy for him to leave. He literally trapped himself.

[Jamie05rhs]

@CelineBV True.

[misogynistic_pig]

The man has to ensure his reproductive success, so if his wife has sex with another man, this threatens his reproductive success, that is why evolution made the man not tolerate the infidelity of the woman.

[CelineBV]

It was understood more centuries ago when protective methods didn't exist and a cheating woman meant she can get pregnant from someone else. Nowadays, protective methods are obviously available so if the cheater has protective sex and doesn't get pregnant, that's not really interrupting his reproductive success.

[YourFutureEx]

Scientific advancements do not change your instincts. Definitely not within a couple centuries.

[exitseven]

I don't know if that is entirely true. I know that if my girlfriend cheated on me I would dump har immediately but every girl I ever dated would do the same thing to me if they found out I was cheating.

[Kuroz090]

Because to men, it is a hit on their honor. A woman is usually their greatest asset hence. They feel like less of a man. Like trash after. It doesn't matter what you shower him with after, it won't compare. It may work 1% of the time maybe. But it'll be really really hard. Unless the guy is a cuck or whatever.

[DrewJohnson]

I wouldn't end my marriage because my wife found another dick. There might need to be some time to rebuild trust, but I would definitely work it out.

[ColdExtraction]

Instinct to protect your lineage, man don't want to be tricked into cuckoldry, wasting their live providing for a child that doesn't carry their genetic make up.