Can a rebound turn into something more?

I have been dating a guy since last August, approximately 6 months. I did not realize I was the rebound girl until someone pointed it out. How long do rebounds usually last? Can a rebound turn into a relationship or are they always doomed from the beginning?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • From my experience, the duration can greatly vary. I was the rebound with a girl I met in college, and we lasted for 10+ years. We worked out very well together.

    The last relationship I just got out of (and am still dealing with the pain from) I turned out to be the rebound guy as well. I knew that I was, but still risked it. We didn't even make it to the one-year mark. She ended up dumping me a couple of months ago, and now I question if she was ever "in it", or just using me to get over the pain from her last bf.

    There were big differences between the two girls and the two ex bf's. (and the reason for my examples are to pass on warning signs I have learned)

    In the 10+-year relationship:

    - the ex boyfriend was a lot like me. (overly nice guy, romantic, caring, etc..)

    - she was completely over him. She never talked about him, compared me to him, or talked to him. (which I wouldn't have minded, he was a genuinely nice guy)

    - we talked openly and honestly. I never felt like she was hiding anything from me, and no topic was taboo.

    In the >1-year:

    - the ex boyfriend was my complete opposite. (arrogant, selfish, treated her like crap, etc...)

    - she was hung up on him. I didn't notice right away, but when he found out she was dating again, he contacted her all of the time. And she contacted him, telling him how much she missed him, needed him, etc... (they never did get back together, he was just stringing her along for his own ego...but she still kept after him)

    - when I tried to talk about serious issues, she would get mad at me, cry and change the subject. I was never rude or raised my voice...I know how to talk in a calm and rational, but open manner. But she got upset no matter what.

    Sorry for the lengthy post, I just really wanted to share a few things that I have learned to watch out for in my future relationships, and hope my ramblings can help you look for the same in your current situation.

    I truly wish you the best. It sounds like you want to make it work. I really hope that you both can work through any issues that the rebound tag can bring.

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    • Thanks! My situation is kind of in between your two past relationships...My guy is still talking to her and I saw an e-mail not too long ago asking her is she ever still thought about "them." Apparently she was a really nice girl. I was upset with him and confronted him. I gave him the chance to opt out of what we had and he chose to stay with me. He said he likes everything about me. He just hopes that I understand that he is not quite over her since they were together for 6 years. staying +

What Guys Said 2

  • A rebound relationship is when you enter a relationship after breaking up from a serious relationship so that you don't feel so alone and depressed and whatnot. It's a normal thing. As to how long you'll last, there is no set amount of time.

    A rebound relationship really is an actual relationship, just created for different reasons sometimes. And rebounds can definitely turn into serious, long-term relationships under the right circumstances. If you both feel that you click and are good for each other, you fit well together and share the same feelings, then yeah it''s possible. It happens all the time. But if he really did just go out with you so he wasn't alone anymore and doesn't quite share the same feelings you do, then it won't last at all, either until he goes back to his ex or he feels like he'll be okay on his own without a significant other.

    Hope I helped, and good luck :)

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  • I'm engaged. I started out as a rebound guy for her.

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