I have been dating a guy since last August, approximately 6 months. I did not realize I was the rebound girl until someone pointed it out. How long do rebounds usually last? Can a rebound turn into a relationship or are they always doomed from the beginning?
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From my experience, the duration can greatly vary. I was the rebound with a girl I met in college, and we lasted for 10+ years. We worked out very well together.
The last relationship I just got out of (and am still dealing with the pain from) I turned out to be the rebound guy as well. I knew that I was, but still risked it. We didn't even make it to the one-year mark. She ended up dumping me a couple of months ago, and now I question if she was ever "in it", or just using me to get over the pain from her last bf.
There were big differences between the two girls and the two ex bf's. (and the reason for my examples are to pass on warning signs I have learned)
In the 10+-year relationship:
- the ex boyfriend was a lot like me. (overly nice guy, romantic, caring, etc..)
- she was completely over him. She never talked about him, compared me to him, or talked to him. (which I wouldn't have minded, he was a genuinely nice guy)
- we talked openly and honestly. I never felt like she was hiding anything from me, and no topic was taboo.
In the >1-year:
- the ex boyfriend was my complete opposite. (arrogant, selfish, treated her like crap, etc...)
- she was hung up on him. I didn't notice right away, but when he found out she was dating again, he contacted her all of the time. And she contacted him, telling him how much she missed him, needed him, etc... (they never did get back together, he was just stringing her along for his own ego...but she still kept after him)
- when I tried to talk about serious issues, she would get mad at me, cry and change the subject. I was never rude or raised my voice...I know how to talk in a calm and rational, but open manner. But she got upset no matter what.
Sorry for the lengthy post, I just really wanted to share a few things that I have learned to watch out for in my future relationships, and hope my ramblings can help you look for the same in your current situation.
I truly wish you the best. It sounds like you want to make it work. I really hope that you both can work through any issues that the rebound tag can bring.0