Have you ever had a crush on your boyfriend/girlfriend's best friend?

I have a crush on my boyfriend's best friend (Let's call him J). All three of us (J, me, my boyfriend) hang out a lot together and I've gotten to know J pretty well. I drunkenly texted J at a party a few weeks ago suggesting that my boyfriend, J and I all have some fun together. He seemed interested in hooking up with me with my boyfriend's permission. But my I broke up with my boyfriend for about a week and now he cares for me too much to ever share me with J.

Last night, after mini golfing with my boyfriend, J and some of my boyfriend's other friends, we were hanging out at a friend's apartment and J randomly left. So my boyfriend and I went home separately because my boyfriend had to be up early. I couldn't sleep, and J texted me saying that he left because he didn't like some of the people at the apartment. We kept texting for 2 hours about random things, and eventually got into talking about how we're both bad with relationships, our insomnia, etc.

J then sent me a text and said he was walking by my house, and if I wanted to chill we could. So we took a walk and talked, went to get some food and ended up talking for 4 hours and staying up until after 7am. My boyfriend, as far as I know, doesn't know J and I hung out alone.

I just feel torn because I like my boyfriend a lot, but I also am attracted to his best friend J who I can never have. J knows that he could never do anything with me because he would never betray his best friend and it just makes me sad.

I think that J likes me too though because he tries to make me laugh, I see him look at me a lot, he notices little things about me, etc. And awhile back, he asked if I wanted to chill with him and some of our mutual friends, but I told him I had no makeup on and was in PJs, so I'd rather not give him nightmares. He replied that I didn't need makeup and asked if I ever realized that maybe he'd like to see me without makeup.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • i did. my friend's girlfriend. we liked each other and got to talk a lot cause my friend was/is a huge stoner and would drop anything to go smoke. we'd sneak off to kiss and stuff. then one day I went over to her house and we made out. as I leave and kiss her one last time and open the door, my friend is standing right there. yup. it eventually blew over and we kept being friends. I'm still friends with her too. they've been broken up for a long time now but me and her never pursued anything with each other. my friend moved away and I haven't talked to him in like two years,

    now I understand that what I did was horrible to my friend but I also understand that the temptation to do it and get away with it is kinda fun. buts its never the best choice to make.

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What Guys Said 5

  • To me it sound like you like your bf's friend so much that you're taking the emotional focus away from your bf.

    U probably don't wanna hear this...you're emotionally CHEATING on your boyfriend, and I think that you'really doing all this because you love soaking in the attention that this guy gives u.

    What you should do is tell "J" that you don't want anything from him, then cut out ALL contact from him except in emergency/extreme situations.

    P.S. Is there a reason why the attention from your BOYFRIEND isn't enough for u, that you whore (yes, I said whore) attention from his friend?

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    • I'm not emotionally cheating or whoring attention lol... It's a crush.

  • I have not but I'm not saying it couldn't happen.

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  • I sure haven't.

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  • Yeah I have, I kept it to myself.

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  • yea and I took his girlfriend, had sex with her then dumped her-true story and no I am not an a hole anymore

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What Girls Said 1

  • me thinks you should may not be with your boyfriend if you have a crush on someone else : /

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