How to get people to text you first?

I'm a 17 year old guy and I have to initiate every single texting conversation with almost all of my friends all the time. I want to talk to them that's why I text them "hey" or "what's up" a couple times a week. The thing is some of them NEVER reply to me through text but when were in person they walk up and just start talking. And try are all pretty much addicted to there phones(there always checking and sending messages). But just not from me(these are guys and girls btw). So about a month ago I decided to "test" my "friends" to see how many of them would think/care about me enough to text me. So I didn't send out any messages for almost a whole month(still going), and only 2/10 of my "friends" texted me :(. And I've known all of them for years and its not like we see each other very day(maybe once or twice a week). If a person can go almost a month without talking to you, and doesn't even ask why you aren't texting them do they even care? Would you call them friends? What can I do?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I totally know how you feel. The fact that 2 of your friends texted you is actually pretty good. If you think about the average person, they don't necessarily want to text everyone in the whole world. The way cliques work is that there's a hierarchy of friends that rank in importance. The average person texts probably the top 3-6 people on their hierarchy, because those people are their "best" friends. They are the first people they want to talk to. They continue to have good friends up to 15, but they don't generally want to talk to all of them. Kind of like clothing. Say you have 15 shirts. It's not like you're going to wear each of them in order on a loop so as not to wear any of the shirts twice in a 15 day period. You'll generally have your favorite shirt that you wear every 4 days, and your 4 other favorites that you wear when you feel like it. Months later, you'll be looking for something to wear, and you go, "Hey, I like this shirt! Why don't I ever wear this?"

    I don't necessarily approve of this method, which means that I get caught on the wrong end of things. I text all my friends, because I have a circle and not a hierarchy. My friends don't text me because they have hierarchies. It doesn't mean they're bad friends, it just means you're a better friend. I say keep close to the 2 that reached out, and be there for the others, because someday they'll realize what they're missing out on.

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What Girls Said 1

  • ignore them

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    • You must not have read the question.

    • i read the question...just not what's underneath it. lol. grrr. fine I'll read it since I'm already here. lol. well some people care more than others. Sometimes I text people regularly but those are really close people who I do text reg and others..meh if they text they text and I don't really care. If they wanna do something or if I do then I just call em or they send mi a message and sometimes I don't read em or I may not get em. =/ So if you wanna do something or know what's up then you should call

What Guys Said 2

  • You have started doing the right thing for yourself. Learn to value you time and effort. All relationships should be 50/50. Anything outside of that is a high maintenance relationship. Limit your efforts with those people. Some of them may come around.

    It is a bit of supply and demand. If you constantly give your time( supply ) the result is a depreciated value of it( demand). It may be difficult but you will find your true friends and develop stronger relations with them.

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  • Tell then in person "Hey a**hole why don't you text me"?

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