Letting someone buy you drinks when you have a bf/gf, OK or not?

I'm just curious about how people feel about this.

If you are dating someone, we'll say relatively seriously (you consider them to be your boyfriend/girlfriend) and they are not at the bar/club with you, is it OK to accept drinks from other people?

Is it OK to go out for drinks with someone of the opposite sex, one-on-one if you are dating someone else?

Why or why not?

  • Absolutely fine
    14% (3)11% (2)13% (5)Vote
  • No, inappropriate
    38% (8)72% (13)54% (21)Vote
  • Depends
    48% (10)17% (3)33% (13)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Depends.

    For the first one, I think it would be okay if you notify them that you are in a relationship and are not open to anything. It's on them if they still want to buy you drinks and they shouldn't get mad when you leave the bar or club without them. If they wanted to pay money for guaranteed sex, they would have gone to a prostitute.

    I think the second one is okay if you have been platonic friends for a long time and/or if the other person is gay. Relationships shouldn't stop friendships and it's really insecure for a guy to care when his girlfriend is hanging out with a gay man.

    I say that because have a straight male friend who I hang out with all the time and we go to coffee and tea together (too young for alcohol) and sometimes even dinner. We've never been involved and we don't want to (we talked openly about it after a lot of speculation from others) but we genuinely enjoy each others' company and we pay for our own stuff when we go out. I've lost a few guys over it and he's lost a damn lot of girls. But if people are too insecure about our friendship then they're not right for either one of us.

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What Guys Said 10

  • I had a girl pull this stunt on me. She acted interested in the guiness pitcher that our group had and I offered her a drink, we talked and when I asked for her number she said she had a boyfriend. I feel sorry for this boyfriend of hers because what she did to me I consider to be playing games. She wanted a free drink. I can only imagine what she is using the boyfriend for and I feel that if this girl does this on a regular basis she is going to bump into a more aggressive guy.

    If you're accepting drinks from other people, it means you're willing to spend time with them and get to know them and that almost always means that it is checking to see if things can go further. It's way different from going with your friend and the drink was on them that time.

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  • Accepting a drink doesn't mean you're going home with them, but it does mean you're giving them a chance to get to know you better.

    Its like agreeing to a job interview. Good faith means there's a legitimate, even if small, chance.

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  • No it's not ok...doing that is reciprocating interest back to the guy.

    When you're taken and you're displaying interest in another guy...i doubt that girl's boyfriend would enjoy that, especially knowing WHY guys buy girls drinks in the first place at bars and such.

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  • no. accepting drinks from a stranger looks slutty even if you are not in a relationship. why would a guy who is a stranger at the club want to buy a drink for u? because he is attracted to u. he already have lot of fantasies going on in his mind. dirty fantasies. he or she should ask the partner if he or she is OK with that.

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  • Obviously wrong. You know the only reason they're doing it is to get into your pants or get to be more with you and if you're already with someone, accepting it is giving the wrong signal. Besides, buy your own damn drinks.

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  • Not okay in my book.

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  • Nobody buys a drink because of charity - let's be real

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    • There's that ex I knew decades ago, same age thus. We met last year, she's a widow, I'm happily married and since we met again, every few months she asks me to drink or eat something together. We pay each in turn. She'll pay next time) I suppose it can arrive that she's out of money one day. That day I'll pay.

      No charity, no "other intentions" either.

    • He means if you are at a club offering a girl a drink.

  • I'd say it's fine. As long as they know what is off limits.

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  • I wouldn't date a club girl to begin with, but no I wouldn't be okay with that. Giving a chance to be courted, really.

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  • Not OK, tell them you have a boyfriend. Then if they want to buy it, let them.

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    • This is EXACTLY what I did this past weekend. Guy came up to my friend and I asked if we wanted a drink was so damn loud so as we approcahed the bar (which was quieter) right away I said listen you do not have to buy me a drink I have a BF. He was fine w it said its OK we're not doing anything wrong but I appreciate you telling me. chit chatted then he bounced.

What Girls Said 11

  • I've had men and women buy me a driinks just because they had Fun with me, or enjoyed watching me dance and have fun. They Simply bought me a drink and left me alone.

    I've had men and women Buy me Drinks, and then Think that they OWNED me for the rest of the night. In situations like this, I'll give the drink back, or give them money back. Buying someone a drink does not mean that you own their genitals.

    I believe its the intent behind it. IF someone is touching you, and staring you up and down, and basically humping your leg, then NO you shouldn't accept the drink.

    IF someone buys you a drink just because, then I don't see the harm in accepting it. Its normally easy to tell what someones intentions are.

    But to be on the safe side you should always talk to your partner and see what they are going to find offensive. IF they have a problem with it, you shouldn't do it at all, even if it is harmless.

    I just had to add, anyone who buys someone a drink and expects sex, or physical "activity" is an idiot.

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  • It's pretty awkward when they offer and they don't know. If you say anything at that point they will usually laugh at you and say about how they are just buying a drink and that there is not other intention. The trick is to mention your partner in conversation early on.

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    • So then you feel that if they know, then it's alright?

    • yeah, I mean the guilt comes because you feel like you might be leading them on, but if they know you have a boyfriend then it's not your fault.

  • Unless its a friend buying the drink, it's not OK. When a stranger buys you a drink there is usually intention behind it. They want to get to know you, flirt, hook up etc and if you have a boyfriend or girlfriend you don't need that

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  • I think it's fine if they're aware that you're taken and aren't trying to steal you from your significant other

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  • Yes.. Nothing is wrong with it.

    Go ahead let them buy you drinks.. Rack up their bill... You know why... They CAN'T and WON'T take no for an answer.

    You're not cheating nor planning on it.

    You never guaranteed to do anything with him that indicates that you're going to go home with him. Most guys should know better.

    "Consider them to be your BF/GF" But have the both of you made it OFFICIAL?

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    • I'd say that if I trust my partner then I would trust them to be able to accept a drink with no implications. That is all.

  • My boyfriend said when I turn 21 I should get to the bar before him and sit down, and the drinks will be coming my way and then he doesn't have to buy me drinks when he gets there. I think he was joking though. But either way, I wouldn't do it. It is rude to the guy buying the drink, and rude to your bf.

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  • At the local bar in my town, everyone knew me and my ex were dating and they still offered to buy me drinks, and he was okay with it, he never complained, he actually thought it was awesome that I could get free drinks. :P

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  • Overall no, unless its a friend or relative.

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  • Anything goes in a club lol. It's like an adult playground

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  • I wouldn't allow it. I'd say thank you, but pay the bill myself. Most guys aren't buying drinks for a girl to be her friend, haha! And I don't want him to waste his money on someone he can't have.

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  • Any guy that approaches me I usually say right off the bat I am taken.

    They can proceed on their own terms after that.

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