Well I have tried to make plans with this girl countless times, but she has been very flaky with them and sometimes comes up with stupid excuses. Well I've reached my breaking point so to speak, she flaked on our plans for today, didn't give a reason, and suggested a date tomorrow. But I already have another lined up, I texted her like a dumbass saying sure, but I know she's just gonna flake again, or it will just be a normal date with me secretly being pissed. She isn't very experienced with dating, so I kinda want to tell her, instead of just dripping it and initiating radio silence.
This girl is amazing, and she seems to have genuine interest, but doesn't seem to respect my time, or see that it has value. How do I tell her she's a flake, and cancel tomorrows plans with her, without seeming like a whiny douche. Deep down I want to keep trying, because she seems like a girl that's worth it. But its just gotten to the point of me just looking so pathetic. Keep in mind, she isn't the only girl I've been talking to, I've been keeping my options open.
I do have something to ask though, she sent me this text last week ( link ), which to me seemed pretty out of character, perhaps her realizing she's been acting immature. What do you think?
We have not talked really since Sunday. I really just want to send her a text or a voice mail saying something like: "Hey, I just wanted to tell you that I like you, you have a great personality/etc blahblablah" I feel that will convey my intentions and give her a chance to reciprocate or reject me one last time, because I am sick of the flakiness, and don't want to set another date with her unless I am SURE that she's interested.
Do any of you think this would be a good idea
Most Helpful Girl
Confession from a fellow flake
I'm a terrible flake. I feel just awful about it, but then again - not really. This is going to make me sound like a horrible person but here it is. The thing is, there are about 4 people in the world I genuinely care about. These are people who's calls I always return, who's messages I always reply to within an hour, and people I always make an effort to see at least once a week.
These people are: my mom, my dad, my brother, & my boyfriend of 4 years
Aside from these people, I have a gazillion "friends". I have my roommates, a couple best girlfriends with whom I shared every single secret when I was single (and have tried to continue to do despite the distance), my friends that I see every day in class, the people I meet for dinner on Tuesdays, the people I hang out with on Friday nights, the people I get coffee with on a regular basis, the people with whom I exchange long emails about the meaning of the universe at 3am, and the people who's FB statuses I like regularly to give them popularity boosts.
From the outside, I might seem like one of the most social people in the world. Yet, I'm actually an introvert and would MUCH rather stay in by myself reading or writing a book than be out partying. In fact, people are exhausting to me in general. I regularly screen my calls, do not return messages (either because I am more interested in what I'm doing at the moment or am trying to get the person to stop contacting me so much)
I have been known to cancel going to the party of the year last minute because I'm more interested in staying in to drink tea and hang out with my boyfriend or go out to dinner with my parents and brother. I have been known to tell friends that "we should hang out sometime next weekend" only to ignore their resended texts asking when I want to hang out...because I'm more interested in cleaning my bathroom or baking cookies or practicing piano than I am in going out to a movie with them.
Sometimes, I will randomly go weeks without checking my FB or email, because I just don't care to deal with responding to everything. Even though I really do like my friends, think they're wonderful people, and want to make them happy - I'm very selfish when it comes to my stamina for dealing with them.
I'm not proud of it, but that's how I am. I genuinely get overwhelmed by people and need a lot of quiet time to recharge. I feel guilty about needing this, and thus constantly underestimate the amount of time I actually need, so I end up having to cancel plans.
I've almost lost several really good friends this way, so I try not to do it. I do it lots to my guy friends, because guys tend to be more bossy about saying "We are going to hang out this weekend, no excuses", and I just don't like being bossed around.
My advice to you is to just make the time that you DO spend with/talking to this girl as efficient and fun as possible. That's how my boyfriend got me to see time with him as recharging, not draining :)0