Going on the third date and I haven't kissed her yet?

So, I'm a somewhat shy guy at initiating physical contact. I went on a coffee date last week. We didn't hug or kiss. Last night we went on our second date. I was going to try and hold her hand while walking in and out of the restaurant but she was switching arms with her purses or carrying her to-go etc. I walked her to her door at the end of the night, and gave reached in for a simple hug. She gave me one and we parted ways. (Keep in mind please, it's below zero outside. Doesn't make standing around a possibility).

I want to ask her on a third date but I'm worried I might be seen as moving too slow. I am relaxed around her the rest of the time, just not with that stuff. My last girlfriend I hugged at the end of our first date, nothing at the end of the second, and kissed her on the cheek (An extreme inner push was required to do this) at the end of the third. She told me in between the third and forth date that had I not made that move, she would have lost interest, but she could tell I was shy and trying to go slow, and was attracted to her by making that kiss.

So, if I get to the third date with this girl, I should push myself right? Hold her hand, arm around her if we do a movie or something, and definitely go in for a kiss at the end of the night? I'm 26 and haven't dated all that much (Honestly, this is only my 2nd REAL second date, so I don't wanna screw it up by seeming too slow or unattracted).

Should I tell her that I might not always read signs of chemistry and attraction the right way?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • No don't tell her that you might not always read signs of chemistry/attraction the right way. I think you should definitely kiss her on the third date because like every girl else she will expect you to do it, so why not? I understand that you are shy and stuff but you should make that move SOMEHOW, but you also need to feel relaxed and don't think about it too much.Good luck on that !

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    • Yesterday and today she has to work extra hours. Normally she leaves around 4 PM, but these days, 7. I sent her a simple text last night saying I hope things at work were going well, and she texted me back that they were, but it was a long day.

      I was thinking I would leave today alone as I know Fridays are stressful for her. Saturday I'd call and ask her out again. If she says Yes, maybe bring some flowers when we go out?

    • Awww flowers! That's sweet and also a great idea. I'm sure she will be very happy about that.

What Girls Said 3

  • Dont tell her that unless she says something about why you haven't kissed her or why it took so long to kiss her.

    and YESSSSS you need to show her affection otherwise you are headed STRAIGHT for the friend zone. Def. hold her hand or put your arm around her, one of the two not both. then try to kiss he rat the end of the night.

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    • I'm going to call and ask her out again in the morning. If she says yes, the on the third date I'll probably bring some flowers and try to be a lot more affectionate. It's a terrifying hurdle for me to clear the first time and I don't know why. Once I'm past that, I'm OK lol

  • You don't need to tell her that. I give my guy friends girl advice all the time so here are some tips that always work. When you first pick her up for the date say this " wow... You look beautiful!" Every girl wants to hear this but you must sound sincere. Look in her eyes when you say this. If she is holding a heavy purse, offer to carry it. Don't be embarrassed to do this. You get major brownie points for just asking this question even if she says no. If you are too afraid to hold her hand substitute with eye contact. Before the date you should think of questions you can ask her about herself on that date, so you don't run out of things to talk about. You can tell if she wants to kiss you if when you touch her cheek she looks down then looks into your eyes and leans in slightly. If she doesn't, she could be nervous too. The best thing about doing this is if she isn't ready yet you can play it off as brushing back a stray hair. Good luck! I know you will do well. Guys like you are a rare find!

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  • You're going to have to make something happen cause if I were that woman, I would put you in the friendzone. Don't tell her that you don't read signs and pick up hints unless you want her to move on.

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