Sex On the First Date -- Will I hear from him again?

I met a man via an online dating service about 2 months ago. We have chatted, texted, emailed and phoned each other weekly for this time period. Getting to know each other and to learn about our compatibility. We really got to know each other... likes/dislikes; family life; work; upbringing; expectations; ideas; etc. Great amount of self-disclosure and trust.

We live two hours away from each other and our work allows us to cross paths once every 1-2 months. So, that being said I was in his city on business and was able to setup an initial date last week.

Initially, we met for coffee...(he paid) and the sexual chemistry was apparent right out of the gate. I am 30 and he in his mid-forties so... we are adults... and really had no sense of expectation beyond the coffee (which we both discussed afterwards).

One thing lead to another and we wound up sleeping together. It was amazing to say the least. We spent the afternoon in each others arms, talking, cuddling, kissing... and really just discussing life. There was a huge amount of intimacy. To be honest, I haven't hit it off with anyone like that ever.

Afterwards, we chatted about future plans - and we both extended open invitations to see each other again the next time our schedules aligned. We both are recently divorced - and very career oriented so we discussed that we wanted there to be a FWB arrangement as the future direction (given our distance and other obligations).

We parted ways after we cuddled again at the door... where he asked who calls who first :) and offered to drive me to the train station. After I boarded the train I sent him a text saying it was fun and to take care (trying to be aloof). He responded right away saying he had a great time too.

So, as per the obligatory 2-day rule we emailed each other formally - where he he flirted with me and my "abilities", how he was hoping to repeat again when our paths next crossed - probably when he is in my city ... and that he was really looking forward to seeing me again. He also mentioned it was a lot of fun and that he had no regrets - which he assumes is a good sign.

I know, I know --- don't sleep with someone right away... but in this circumstance it was something we both openly discussed and there was a pretty huge communication build-up prior... so it wasn't like we were strangers.

I plan on letting him initiate contact. And I let him know that I wasn't going to ... as he is the guy (I am very direct). So essentially, the ball is in his court.

Should I expect him to call? Will I hear from him again? Is he really interested? Should I take things slow?

I am new to the dating scene - so any assistance would help!


Most Helpful Girl

  • Wow, for a FWB thing you sure are quite into it. I foresee a lot of problems here because you are gushing as if he were someone you are really starting to care about. Slow down here. He will call when he's ready for some action. And what's with this "Obligatory 2-day Rule"? I wouldn't listen to that if it were a dating situation or just a friends with benefits agreement.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Just don't ever have sex on the first date. It is a bad idea. Sex on the second or third or fourth date is also a bad idea. Build the relationship before you introduce sex. In fact, make sure that you are in a relationship that you and he are both committed to for the long haul before you have sex. Yes, I read that you have been chatting, etc., but that is too thin a foundation to introduce sex into a relationship.

  • ok my date are different I am still a virgin by chose tho my dates go well and I see that you are talking about when you say you hit it off well I believe he will call you and you might have something good going on well that what I think I hope this helped


What Girls Said 2

  • Probably not for a long time. This is a FWB thing it seems, not dating.

  • If you want a relationship or to see a guy again then the rule is not to sleep with them on the first date. By doing this you are giving them what they want with out the comittment and it means that they are not going to give you the respect that you deserve.

    Sorry to say this guy probably is not going to be contact again and if he does its only because he wants to sleep with you.