My crush and I spent the night with each other and, went out to eat, but he has a girlfriend, what should I do?

[Anonymous]

Ok, so I first met my crush at an assembly at the beginning of the school year, I pretty much just walked up to him and got his number. We text each other a little during the first semester, and we revealed a lot about ourselves, I then found out he had a girlfriend, that explained why we didn't talk much, I didn't want to mess a happy home up. During Christmas break I text him "Happy holidays" and when we got back to school we started to text a little more then before. We always talked about meeting up but we never did, and we would just say a quick "hey" if we saw each other. This all changed after one party we went to. I acted as if he wasn't there and I danced with a lot of guys in front of him, my roommate said he was staring at me the whole time, and even when I gave a guy a fake number he came right up behind me and asked why I had done that. Eventually after I dance with a couple more people in front of him he just grabbed my arm and we started to dance, and after the one song ended I tried to move but he just kept holding me, holding my hands. Holding my waist and just not wanting me to go, I ended up dancing with him for the rest of the night. I thought he was just doing all of this because he was drunk but that same night he sent me a smiley face as soon as we left each other, we text all night and he was saying things that a guy with a girl shouldn't say. Then he asked to spend time with me the next night, I went over to his dorm and I played monopoly with his friends, and after his visitation ended he invited me to come back. I said yes so he had to sneak me back in and long story short I ended up spending the night with him, we cuddled and it was a little more intimate than just two good friends. We woke up the next morning and we had a good convo on the way back to my dorm,but we both ignored what happened that night.in the past weeks he has taken me out to eat, bought me a souvenir from his spring break trip, ask me to spend time with him and his friends again and he asked me to spend the night again. Also anytime I see him he is always very touchy, but he still has a girlfriend and they just made a year last month. Seriously I'm confused. Does he like me or are we really just "Friends", and if he does like me, do you think he might take it one step further and kiss me? And I really don't want to be the other girl, but at the same time I really like him, so what should I do?

[Anonymous]

I would stop seeing him. Sure, this attention feels all great now, but how could you ever have a healthy long term relationship with a guy who continues to cheat and lie to his girlfriend. Do you honestly think he won't continue that pattern with you? Worse, this is going to negatively impact your reputation. Guys talk and observe and it is obvious this guy is getting the benefits of fun with you without offering a relationship in return. It makes you look easy. Oh, and all this stands regardless of his Girlfriend cheating on him. Really, if she was that awful, why is he still with her? Two wrongs do not make a right.

As far as his intentions, this is all about getting you towards a casual sexual relationship. If it wasn't, he would have broken it off with Girlfriend by now. And, yes, I don't mean he has to be some jerky player who is purposely scheming to get you into bed, but it starts with cuddling and continues to move on from there and you know that.

I realize all this probably sounds harsh, but been there, done that. This all feels amazing until the party is over, he continues on with his girlfriend and you are left crushed with a crummy reputation. At the least, I would not see him again until he is done with his girlfriend. At the best, I wouldn't see him at all. This is just plan shady.

[hLovebughelp123]

Honestly, it's not worth it. He may like you or have some type of attraction but if there is another girl, then you shouldn't really get involved. It really sucks being one of the factors to a break up and like I always say and hear : "if he leaves his girl for you...what makes you think he's not going to leave you for someone else he finds interesting." You getting more and more involved with him only makes things more complicated and your just going to get drawn deeper into this...fling. He's probably going to continue flirting and hanging out because he has this idea willing to kinda take things a step further even though you know he has a girlfriend. You should kinda stay on the friendship zone until he breaks up with his girlfriend for normal relationship issues like : (she wasn't happy. not compatible enough. it wasn't working out) ...not because he's having some other physical connections with someone else (in this case: you). If he doesn't...then he's not the one...and there are other fish in the sea.

[Asker]

Well I really don't know how they are doing becuase he barely talks about her, but I do know that they have a long distance relationship and she cheated on him before, But everything you are saying makes a lot of sense, and I really don't want to be a cause of a break-up but should I just constantly turn him down when he invites me out?

[hLovebughelp123]

I mean guys don't really talk about their gfs when they are trying to sweet talk some one else lol. But at the same time, even though his girlfriend did all these things, the fact that he's still with her means something. You can talk to him about maybe try to bring his girlfriend up when he tries to sweet talk you. I'm not telling you not to be friends with him, but you should definitely lay the line. Remind him he has a girlfriend. you can hang out with him but when he is crossing that limit, stop him.

[Anonymous]

Your going to make it seem like its okay to be friend with benefits if you keep hooking up with him.Now you can still just be friends with him and hang out with his friends but that's it nothing more.It's been a year now that he's been with his girlfriend I don't think he's going to break up with her not matter how much hie likes you.Because they have a lot of history togeather and he would of done it a long time ago.

[Asker]

IDK what you mean by "hooking up" but we have never done anything but cuddle, and we only went out with just us two, once. any other time we were with a group of friends! we are no where near friends with benefits becuase neither of us receive benefits, but his actions confuse me I think he would leave her, but I'm not sure.

[Anonymous]

He wants to sleep with you

[riverboy]

agreed