My boyfriend wants me to gain weight??
What is this?
I'm 5'4, 110 lbs with a waistline of 23 inches and I have a BMI of 17. I'm a 32C. I'm fairly fit, also. So not only am I thin, I'm athletic. And he wants me to gain weight. I'm confused. I've been with him for five years and in the past year or so he's been making subtle hints at wanting me to gain weight. I'm not a sack of bones, just so you know. I have a little fat below my bellybutton, but other than that, no. Like, I could lose maybe an inch or two in order to have a fully flat torso.
I went on a week long vacation to Europe and gained some weight due to not working out and the enlarged serving sizes. I mentioned to him that I needed to go for a jog or do some crunches when I got home because of it, and he said, "Ah well, it's more of you to love. A little more fat wouldn't be so bad for you, you know. It'd actually be good."
I'm naturally thin. I only work out to keep toned. I want him to be happy with me, but I physically cannot gain weight attractively. If I get above 117 lbs, I feel lethargic and unhappy. I tend to stay between 110 and 115.
Any thoughts as to why he might want me to weigh more? I've asked him and all he says is, "Eh, I don't know. Just do." and so that doesn't help.
I want him to be happy. Help?
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What Guys Said 7
i think it's probably how you carry your weight. you're pretty small as a whole so he probably feels like you could do well to gain a little more to fill you out. it's obviously not a major issue to him since he's not constantly nagging about it and besides that, it's not something you feel like you can do and stay energized. you have to do what keeps you feeling in best shape and I think as long as he knows you feel good, that's all he really cares about since he's your man. I doubt he has regrets ending up with a cute petite girl.
1) Do what keeps you happy. If extra weight makes you feel sad then don't do it.
2) Personally I want a little bit of fat tissue/extra muscle on a girl because I don't want to feel like I'm with a guy. Girls have always been like teddy bears to me, nice and soft. Maybe he just wants a little extra squish from you?
If he's been with you for five years it stands to reason he is pretty happy with your body the way it is. It's possible that he was afraid to sound in any way critical of your slight weight gain and overcompensated a little. He's lucky to have a girlfriend that cares about keeping fit. Don't tailor your lifestyle or your body to suit him.
What Girls Said 6
Well he either wants you to BULK up or he thinks the weight you gain (fat) is going to go into all his IDEAL places so that he can admire you like that. -_-
Since you're keeping fit, you've got the muscle and metabolism, if you want to increase in size you're just going to have to eat more and turn that into muscle in the places you want them but then you'd risk looking muscular (like too much). :P
Then on the other hand if you just eat more, I'm guessing most of the fat is going straight to your tummy and then wherever else fat tends to go for you.
If I put on weight (fat), it's not going to go to my assets first. I have a little fat on my tummy but I'm quite thin everywhere else. If I lose a few kg I will have a flat tummy for sure but then I will truly be thin because my frame is quite small. Then only will I agree with people calling me skinny.
I have people telling me to gain weight, but I find it annoying because when they say "gain weight" they're not really telling me to be HEALTHY. Just because I'm small doesn't mean my fat goes in all the 'right' places. If the bulk of it goes to my waistline and tummy, which it does, I'm sure as hell not listening to them.
The other option for me is to just gain muscle weight but I do not want to have muscular thighs and all that kind of stuff, so really, I'm just going to stay the way I am. It's ridiculous.
There are three things that should influence your weight goals:
1. What is a healthy body weight for you as an individual
2. What makes you feel good in your body, confident, and happy
3. What is a realistic expectation to have of yourself
If you feel unhappy or unhealthy when you gain weight, don't gain weight. You can always explain to your boyfriend that you have real reasons for not wanting to. He should understand, and he should value your happiness as well. Just make sure you aren't at risk of being underweight (talk to a doctor if there is any concern).
He might want you to have more meat on when he's having sex, men sometimes like that. Or that he's larger and wants you to be closer of what he is. Or that he sees guys looking at you and wants you a little less threatening? I know what you mean lathargic, caz that's how I am. I'm 5'3" and a half and I'm between 117 and 120. I like my face around 115 and I like my body around 120. so, don't know. Maybe it turns him on when your thicker. If I was a guy I'd want my woman around 123-125 lbs. funny but true.