What do girls REALLY prefer? Looks or personality...

I don't mean choose either one. But I'm confused...most girls seem to like a muscular guy because 'it makes her feel safe', yet many of you say 'beauty is only skin deep'...I just wanna know, do the majority of girls actually prefer a skinny guy with a nice personality?

I've come to realize we all prefer personality as no1 looks no2. Those who place looks first are probably shallow and immature, or interesting in linking up only, in which case yeah, its looks all the way...
Are you all being honest though? Cos it seems to me like some of you may be going for 'personality' because its the most valuable trait in a person, and totally overlooking looks/sexiness/charm etc which basically...are valuable too
Okay now I am beginning to understand why you women place personality as higher priority! Previously, as a typical guy I placed high value on a girl's physicality & sex-factor, but as the saying goes: 'reputation is for time; character is for eternity'.
It looks to me that women as a whole are definitely more personality driven, or deeper than that, character driven. Not sure what bearing that has on me though

What's Your Opinion?


Most Helpful Opinion

  • We prefer you, you big stud ;)

    • Lol, that was funny. I wish all women had that kind of wit.

What Girls Said 78

  • Personally, I dated a 280 lb slob a year ago, and our relationship lasted until he cheated on me (we were together a year and nine months) and I completely fell in adorement with his personality.Now, I'm dating a guy who has muscles, but a little layer of "fat" over his tummy muscles. So no, not everyone always cares about looks.However, if someone says "Looks don't matter to me," they're liars. Looks matter to everyone, just they matter to some people more than others. For example, my best friend will NOT date a guy if he doesn't have great arm muscles, but like I said, I dated a 280 lb slob ( I say that he's a slob now because we had problems after the breakup ).So if you have a good personality, and a great body, it's just a double plus.


  • you need looks to get me, but you need a personality to keep me around

    • they intimidate

    • Why?

    • overall appearance. but for the record, I hate muscles

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  • Okay. to tell you the honest truth, if all girls just thought personality is all that matters, we wouldn't be seeing all these really nice guys that are meh alright looking alone, and all these good-looking jerks getting every girl he wants. Most girls just don't want to be a bitch and admit it, but allot of us want a good-looking guy, just like guys want a good-looking girl, but the thing that girls get wrong is when they ONLY look for someone that they can show off too their friends and all that. because soon enough they are gonna get old and ugly like the rest of us, personality is what will keep people interested, so focus on your personality first off, but don't forget that you should still keep people "sexually attracted" to you, because that's also what keeps the relationship going

    • we hear you!

    • Amen to that!!1

    • Out of all the answers this is one of the best, and most realistic...

  • Lets be honest, looks are important first up but after that they're really not important. If a girl feels affection towards a guy and if they like a guy enough they will find something that they find physically attractive in the person, people see what they want to see. In my oppinion I couldn't care less if you have pimples on your forehead big muscles (personally I actually find that a turn off) as long as you genuinely care.

    • I like that 'if you like someone enough you will find something physically attractive in the person', I think that's true...

  • I love a good personality more than good looks I fell in love with my first boyfriend because of his personality not his looks.

  • Why do people keep asking that? Human beings with both qualities exist. You are implying that you only have one, you are implying insecurities but by looking at your icon, you are looking damn good...pardon my French.

    • Thank you. I wasn't trying give one priority over the other, its just that I had realised that girls seem to put more value on a man's character, than a his physical attributes or even personality, whereas in my experience guys focus more on what we can see. But since I first asked the question I have realised that its a pretty immature and close-minded way of looking at things.

  • In think it all depends on the person. Personally their has been a couple times where I wasn't physically attracted to somebody but fell in love with the person because of their amazing personality and how much we had in common. Yet, I have also only started dating a guy because I was physically attracted to him (I know shallow), and as the time went by I noticed that because of his looks he thought he was better than everyone, and he turned out to be a very evil person. Based on my experience I noticed that yes women do at first look at the persons physical attributes, but it the persons personality that makes you stick around. I have never heard somebody say that they stuck with a person for twenty years just because he or she was hot.

  • looks are what catch my eye but if your personality sucks I don't want anything to do with you...i'll take a person that I'm not phsyically attracted to with a great personality over a good looking person anyday

    • Thats easy enough to say...

  • you can have both, looks and personality, but I prefer to go for a guy whos attractive, but not overly like a model, they are usually the assholes, if you are avergare to above average looking lus have a personality you can get heaps of girls, as long as your not butt ugly.Personality is VERY important aswell as interests, life goals, morals. But you definately need chemistry and physical attraction - if I don't feel physical attraction you cannot kiss or get sexual with a guy, no matter how sweet he is, I feel guys go for looks first, then they will get to know you only after your good looking enough. I'm similar if I find a guy attractive then I get to know him and if he has what I'm looking for , cool, but I also keep myself open by talking to avergae guys that I meet or approach me, cos spark may fly or attraction can grow over time if you connect 100 % .

  • personality! looks always always fade :)

  • definitely personality. personally I can't find a guy physically attractive if he isn't a nice person.

  • Rating looks first is usually immaturity and has not lived reality. when you have to spend years together a sense of humor is my number one trait.


    • Um, why do you lie?

  • i prefer personality. if a guy has a really good personality, it makes them look better or seem more attractive in my opinion.

  • For women, personality and strength is what attracts us. Looks do matter, but with a confident, strong personality you can be just as attractive as someone who isn't conventionally good looking. I wrote a post about this, explaining in more detail, here: link

  • I like skinny guys with a little muscle. But hey, personality is number one. He should be HIDEOUS looking that's all. Normal or good looking, we always prefer the personality more even if we don't say it. I used to tell myself that the guy has to be gorgeous or I wouldn't date him but now I REALLY like two guys which aren't that good looking but are attractive in their own ways.

  • Im going to be honest because it seems to me people are putting personality because they feel that's what they should put.I think you need to be attracted to the person for anything to happen, I mean, if you walked past someone in the street you wouldn't stop and talk to them because of their personality because you haven't a clue about it so to some degree everyone notices looks first, but you can't have any relationship without a decent personality, so really; its both.I think personality is what keeps people hanging around, the looks just encourages people to first start talking :)(and just so you know I don't mean you have to be like Johnny Depp or w.e for someone to start talking to you; everyone has their own taste in men so someones bound to find you attractive xD)Hope this helped :)

    • In most cases of course it’s the looks. It is what pleases our eye and gives us urge to desire. I think both still matters.

    • Johnny depp was an example of a celebrity which a large group of women find attractive I could have said brad pitt or george clooney but I chose him, and I'm sure there are a few people out there which think he's good looking.

    • Johnny depp is ugly anyway, who would want to look like him?

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  • Personality is extremely important, if you're personality isn't very compatible to your other half (your partner) then there will be definite problems. Looks play a minor role in a relationship, the looks have you attracted but to me the personality is most intreguing.

  • Personality is important but I could never be without the looks.

    • I like ur view, nice & simple.

  • Looks only go so far, personality is the primary target, looks are just a bonus!

    • Best answer!

  • For me its personality...and while looks attract you to a person they DON'T keep you...lolAnd even if he wasn't "my type" or "cute" his personality may end up peeking my interests and make him sexy as hell in my eyes...

  • I like strong guys. They don't gotta be beefy, but I'd like to know I can be protected. It's reassuring. But it really all comes down to how much I like his personality because I won't be with a guy if I don't like how he acts.

  • Oh plz, I REALLY don't think that everyone is being honest about this question. Looks and sexiness are important to each individual person because its called ATTRACTION..thats how we are immediately drawn to each other! I've never ever ever ever ever, met a girl who says, oh look at that guys whos not good looking over there, I want to try and talk to him...as I said, looks are the thing that DRAWS a person in from the get go, and it has nothing to do with shallowness and immaturity, it has to do with HUMAN NATURE, and there is nothing wrong with it!

    • I think this is the best answer. I remember I saw Roseanne Barr on a tv sitcom, she was starring at a guy's bum at a bar and said "Oh, look at the personality of that guy!"

    • Boom Bang.

    • Once you get to no the person that's when you realize that its not all about looks... but to begin with, the interest level is sparked by whether YOU are attrated to them or not

  • i know that I'm being a thousand percent honest because I've had friends go... 'is that him?' and I'm like 'yeah.' and then they do the :/ face because they don't think he's all that cute.which is fine by me. men are already just sexy anyway. the way they smell, stand, walk, talk, and even drive are attractive to me. they give the best hugs and when I make a guy laugh, I feel this weird pride almost, haha. I really do dig the personality over the face. make me laugh, feel cared for and respected, and make me feel sexy by little affectionate gestures (i'm not that big on PDA). but you get my drift.besides, really hot guys have this cockiness to them. this air of arrogance and whether it's on purpose or subconscious, it's not attractive. you can be confident, but remain humble.

    • I'm glad you like it! and if any girl turns you down because she doesn't think you're attractive for some stupid reasosn, she's not worth your time anyway

    • Thats such a deep answer!

  • personality---looks get real old real quick if you'd rather be having a conversation with your wall than him.

  • For me, if I have a huge crush on someone, he will look unbelievably attractive to me. Physical attractiveness and muscle don't mean anything to me unless I am enamored by your intelligence, ambition, and personality.

  • honeslty looks won't do it for me, I don't care if your a model, if your a jackass I honestly just don't care. Personality first, and then looks. I don't like uber muscular guys I think its sort of gross. but I like it when guys are toned, it shows that they are athletic and strong but not vain.

  • I go 4 da PERSONALITYY :)

    • Kool.

    • Well da first thingg I look at is da personalityy then looks

    • I don't believe you :P so you don't care bout his looks at all?

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  • personality. id go out with the ugliest guy if he had a great personality

    • About to say...lol

    • Ok. Maybe not the ugliest...

    • Thats a huge commitment...

  • Honestly personality is number one for me I don't care how goodlooking his body or how good he looks I he got a messed up attitude and personality it's done for me.

  • Personality is key, for me even if there is a "hot" guy if I don't like or know his personality I will be able to see that logically he is "attractive" but I will not be attracted to him. If there is a physical trait that I can say I "like" its because I knew someone who's personality I liked and I thus over all liked who had that trait and it stood out, its not grounds for liking someone just a perk :P.

  • I am not shallow or immature. I do go for personality but lets be fair, we see you before we talk to you do you think your personality flies to us through the room? No of course not. We go for both. If a guy is hot and all but an ass I won't like you. If a "nerd" the "skinny guy" comes up to me and talks to me and is really nice chances are ill go out with him and give him a chance. The same with an average or hot guy. All I'm saying is we see you before we talk to you, so what attracts us first? But in saying that, I will never not go out with a really nice nerdy skinny guy because chances are he will be the best boyfriend ever :) But so could the hot guy, you don't know till you talk do you?

  • Sure girls talk about Hot guys everyday lol but to my opinion it doesn't matter! I'm actually attracted to guys just for who they are, if they happen to be attractive as well that would be cool lol but It doesn't matter in the long run.They tend to be more real. Girls who choose guys based on what they look like are just not worth it themselves honestly lol.

  • To know the guy you had to approach him and to approach him he had to be in a way good looking so they go together on a certain level. But personnality is 70% while looks is 30%

  • i like both a hot guy with a great personality but I had to choose I wld choose looks everytime!

  • Let's just put it this way: either one can make or break the whole deal. If I'm out at a club or something, obviously the only factors that can initiate interaction are really limited to physical observation. So, in that situation, I would choose who I approach based on looks. But if you're an ass or something, I'm done.If I'm at a smaller gathering or meeting a friend's set-up or something, I'm immediately going to pay attention to personality. Social abilities, conversation topics, and mannerisms (at least to me) are my focus. Then, over time, I'll start to take in the rest and analyze. The better the personality, the better I think it completes your attractiveness on the outside, too.I will pull the shallow card, however, and say that I do have my limits and standards. We can't help it. Biology hard-wires us to be sexually aroused or emotionally interested in certain people.

    • Nice answer :)

  • I prefer personality, but there has to a physical attraction on some level. And yes you will find people who are shallow and only go for people are good looking and whatnot, but that's just the way it is. I don't like guys who are as skinny as a rail, but I don't want a guy who is overly obese either. That might sound shallow, but like I said, there has to be some sort of physical attraction, but a good personality is a must.

  • I've dated average looking, good looking and hot men. Personality is the key. Looks always fade.

  • To me someone's personality makes up much of their beauty. I can't be attracted to someone who's personality I don't like. There's a lot of people I've met that I didn't think were that good looking, but once I talked to them and liked their personality then they actually got more physically attractive to. So..yah

    • Yeah I guess deep down we all prefer personality

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What Guys Said 18

  • what if you like a girl who prefers gold?

  • Girls prefer personality 100%, the thing is that there are not a lot of guys with "attractive" personalities so they sometimes are forced to focus on looks.

  • I know it's a question for girls, but I strongly believe girls would prefer personality more than looks.

  • The thing is if we speak biologically, looks(good genes) is a good indicator of health, so as humans we are attracted to people who can produce healthy offsprings, so looks will attract girls to you but you have to have the personality to keep them.

  • Personality. Looks don't matter, any penis will do the job

    • Haha real talk

  • Sexual attraction comes first. Sorry to say but if you don't appeal to a woman on a physical level she's not going to give you the time to charm her with your personality.

  • I don't think they can be seperated.Looks and personality go hand in hand to make someone unique and beautiful.

  • i know someone said it in here before me: but depending on the girl and guy and what he/shes looking for, at the particular time in his/her life (just sex or a serious relationship), it can be one or the other. Personally, 90 percent of the time, looks come first then personality. I will admit there are probably some rare occasional instances where two personalitites "click" really well and both people are genuine and mature enough to realize they would make a good couple regardless of any physical attraction. But in the real world, I think a relationship like that or any other wouldn't last because one or the other will move on to the "next best thing/fling." Its just human nature. I think people will come to realize they have to settle in the end. Lets not forget about money too. That's a major factor too! I think that would be an interesting poll between the three: looks personality or money?

  • You have to be physically attracted to the person initially, that's the first thing you obviously see..however I think too many people place too much emphasis on looks first..hence why so many people have a hard time finding and or meeting anyone.

  • Ah.. you have hit on the main difference between men and women. Men will choose the opposite. :-) and yes, we are shallow. But it is much like a woman who will pick the guy with the better job over the poor guy who would never look at another girl.Good Luck,James

  • Girls want a guy they feel safe with, who respects them, and someone who can make them laugh. Looks are on their list of things to consider, but it is not at the top like it is for us guys.Good LuckJames

    • Thanks sweetie.. :-) drop me a personal note if you ever want to chat.. I love new pen pals..

    • I like your answer!

  • Depends on their age. Young, stupid, and immature girls go after looks. That was severely evident when I was in high school; all the football jocks had nearly every girl in the school dreaming about them. Sad thing is, those football jocks didn't give a sh*t about them, while "average" guys like me with deep respect for women were passed off.However, with age, comes maturity, and WOMEN go after personality. I have noticed that I am like an item with older women; ironically, because 20 something year-olds have never given me the time of day (despite that I hear a lot of them talking about how they wished they had a knight in shining armor or a guy like Edward from Twilight). My girlfriend now is amazing, I love her so deeply. She is in her mid 20s, and unlike the rest, she is very mature, and loves my personality. Her co-workers, sisters, neighbors, (all in their 30s+ ) have crushes on me, and are jealous of her because of the way I treat her. This is not to say that guys aren't guilty of the same things either; I just happened to have matured very early and realized that the "pretty girls" were always stuck-up b*tches and thus, I find a girls' personality WAY more attractive than her looks.

  • usually girls go for the hot guys that are assholes

    • I dunno, most girls don't seem to mind - even really pretty girls seem to focus more on personality

    • ...and usually it's just the girls who are attractive looking and have bad personalities themselves.

  • In a way, there both one and the same.Your personality is portrayed in how you carry yourself, how you behave and the aura that you give out. It isn't really about what you look like superfically, on a deeper level, if you have a nice personality, girls will pick up on it, if you are confident enough in yourself to send out the right signals. Your appearance, is ultimately decided by you, it isn't about whether your skinny or muscular, Its about how you express yourself with what you got, that's what girls are picking up on, on either a conscious or sub conscious level.

  • Girls like good looking assholes trust me bro. They won't admit it but they do.

    • I think you're right bro. They settle for nice guys a lot of the time, but would never turn down a tall, strong, handsome badboy, face it ladies

    • Yup. I saw a post similar to this one and when I posted that girls like assholes, a bunch of girls replied saying that's not true. That same day I saw a post asking do girls prefer nice guys or bad boys and every single girls said like the bad boy asshole type. It was even some of the girls that had just poster on the other question saying they like nice guys! They just can't admit they like the assholes

    • Yeah, it would be dumb, but unfortunately most girls are built that way.

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  • Girls like looks and only looks.

    • If I looked better though I would have a girlfriend though.

    • Your confidence is the problem. The fact that you can't talk to girls is the bigger issue. Everyone likes an attractive partner but how can you get someone if you don't feel good about yourself? Girls don't like guys that are down on themselves.

    • You don't understand how hard girls are to talk to then. I am so scared of them.

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  • Looks. It is what it is.

    • I actually meant everything, from dating to f*cking

    • Lol wellllll I'm kinda sure that's what he was going for in his question....not positive but pretty sure

    • Who said anything about dating. ;)

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  • girls are very shallow even though they pretend to be not. there is nothing you can do about it.

    • You got that right.

    • Seeing as how guys are more visually stimulated than females, I'm going to say that males care more about thier partner's looks.

    • If dating someone that I'm attracted to is considered shallow, then yes... I suppose I am. But I'm attracted to a lot of different guys. I've dated short, tall, overweight, skinny, hick, prep, jock,red-haired, balding, pale, tanned, you name it... And they all had different personalities, temperment's and backgrounds. Now how am I considered shallow? Of course if you're younger you are likely to have silly ideals for a partner. Glad I'm over that, it's immature, and unrealistic.

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