What do girls REALLY prefer? Looks or personality...

I don't mean choose either one. But I'm confused...most girls seem to like a muscular guy because 'it makes her feel safe', yet many of you say 'beauty is only skin deep'...I just wanna know, do the majority of girls actually prefer a skinny guy with a nice personality?

Updates:
I've come to realize we all prefer personality as no1 looks no2. Those who place looks first are probably shallow and immature, or interesting in linking up only, in which case yeah, its looks all the way...
Are you all being honest though? Cos it seems to me like some of you may be going for 'personality' because its the most valuable trait in a person, and totally overlooking looks/sexiness/charm etc which basically...are valuable too
Okay now I am beginning to understand why you women place personality as higher priority! Previously, as a typical guy I placed high value on a girl's physicality & sex-factor, but as the saying goes: 'reputation is for time; character is for eternity'.
It looks to me that women as a whole are definitely more personality driven, or deeper than that, character driven. Not sure what bearing that has on me though

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Most Helpful Girl

  • We prefer you, you big stud ;)

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What Girls Said 79

  • Looks are what initially attracts you to someone for the most part (no not always depending how you meet, since I know someone will want to disagree with me). Then, if the personality fits and works right you're good to go. I don't ever say beauty is only skin deep...it's either you're attracted to that person or not. As far as being muscular, my personal answer is that the guy doesn't have to be muscular but I like a bigger body frame on a guy. Broad shoulders and taller than me, not obese but not skinny. Most girls just want a guy who is bigger than themselves because that's when we feel safe..and for the fact you look like a proportioned couple. Everyone is different though, little guys like big girls and big guys like little girls..vice versa!

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    • So its a case of looks first, personality second?

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    • Although you deny it, it must have hurt you. I was in a bad mood yesterday. I didn't mean what I said. sorry about that.

      btw, what is wrong with "germany"?

    • Strangers don't hurt my feelings...sorry

  • I don't really like a lot of bulk on guys as far as muscles go. I understand the bit about making a girl feel safe. I tend to be attracted to taller guys [rather than huge muscles] for this reason because it gives off the feeling of being bigger than me in general. I can take care of myself in most situations, but it's still a nice feeling. When girls say those things, it generally means, 'I'm attracted to ____, but not necessarily unattracted to someone not as ____.' Does that make sense?

    And I've never been interested in anyone I can't have an intelligent conversation with, or who can't make me laugh. So personality is indeed the most important thing overall.

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  • In think it all depends on the person. Personally their has been a couple times where I wasn't physically attracted to somebody but fell in love with the person because of their amazing personality and how much we had in common. Yet, I have also only started dating a guy because I was physically attracted to him (I know shallow), and as the time went by I noticed that because of his looks he thought he was better than everyone, and he turned out to be a very evil person. Based on my experience I noticed that yes women do at first look at the persons physical attributes, but it the persons personality that makes you stick around. I have never heard somebody say that they stuck with a person for twenty years just because he or she was hot.

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  • i would prefer a guy with good personality and character over a guy who only looks hot anytime! if he has a good personality and good looks, then good looks are a bonus!

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  • I say looks to get my attention, and the personality to keep it.

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  • A guy doesn't have to be muscular, he can be just as attractive otherwise.

    Personality has a lot to do with attraction. I've come across plenty of guys who I wasn't physically attracted to at first, but after getting to know them, that changed. I've also lost interest in attractive guys because they were jerks.

    There has to be a balance. You have to find someone physically appealing on some level in order to have a relationship with them, and that can grow as you get to know their personality. If a person has a bad personality, nothing can change that. In that case, your relationship most likely wouldn't be long term.

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  • i know that I'm being a thousand percent honest because I've had friends go... 'is that him?' and I'm like 'yeah.' and then they do the :/ face because they don't think he's all that cute.

    which is fine by me. men are already just sexy anyway. the way they smell, stand, walk, talk, and even drive are attractive to me. they give the best hugs and when I make a guy laugh, I feel this weird pride almost, haha. I really do dig the personality over the face. make me laugh, feel cared for and respected, and make me feel sexy by little affectionate gestures (i'm not that big on PDA). but you get my drift.

    besides, really hot guys have this cockiness to them. this air of arrogance and whether it's on purpose or subconscious, it's not attractive. you can be confident, but remain humble.

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    • Thats such a deep answer!

    • I'm glad you like it! and if any girl turns you down because she doesn't think you're attractive for some stupid reasosn, she's not worth your time anyway

  • nobody can be with somebody they're not attracted to even just a little bit. personality makes somebody more attractive anyway. all I have to do is love your smile or your eyes or your style or your hair and you're attractive to me as long as your personality and the way you treat me is amazing. your swag is also a key element to catching my eye. I tend to lean more towards shy guys so their lack of confidence and all that is a little annoying, but I find it endearing as well, haha. if you have a great sense of humor and a great deal of respect for me, then I'm down. just make your move.

    i've seen some girls suffer in horrible relationship just because the guy was hot, but that sh*t is not worth a pretty face.

    i think guys are more shallow than girls tho. guys will pass up on a wonderful woman with a great personality because she's not cute. you know the stereotype where someone asks "is she hot?'' and the person goes "she has a great personality'' and the reaction of men is 'she's a dog! muahahahaha'

    yeah.

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  • Beauty is only skin deep. But I'll be the first to admit I can't be with someone I'm not physically attracted to, but I couldn't be with someone who was the most good looking man on earth but was an asshole...know what I mean? No one else in the world has to think my husband is good looking, but as long as I do. I think certain aspects of someone's personality can also make them seem better looking. But if I don't think a guys is good looking TO ME, then I might not really think about dating him. But I'm not shallow enough to be like "I could NEVER date you". If that makes sense :D

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  • Let's just put it this way: either one can make or break the whole deal.

    If I'm out at a club or something, obviously the only factors that can initiate interaction are really limited to physical observation. So, in that situation, I would choose who I approach based on looks. But if you're an ass or something, I'm done.

    If I'm at a smaller gathering or meeting a friend's set-up or something, I'm immediately going to pay attention to personality. Social abilities, conversation topics, and mannerisms (at least to me) are my focus. Then, over time, I'll start to take in the rest and analyze. The better the personality, the better I think it completes your attractiveness on the outside, too.

    I will pull the shallow card, however, and say that I do have my limits and standards. We can't help it. Biology hard-wires us to be sexually aroused or emotionally interested in certain people.

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  • well you got the last part right at least - that girls prefer a slim guy with a great personality [though many I bet are into muscles too.]

    I also read on here a lot guys saying they don't really care about what a girl looks like but instead her personality...but I believe for most people it's a little bit of everything for a relationship - looks, personality, character, interests, etc...though of course there are exceptions like some people just go for looks, others just go for personality, etc.

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    • Tru tru, I agree (would pick this for best answer but I've already picked :) )

  • For me its personality...and while looks attract you to a person they DON'T keep you...lol

    And even if he wasn't "my type" or "cute" his personality may end up peeking my interests and make him sexy as hell in my eyes...

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  • Personality is key!

    Skinny is cute...to me ad least...

    If a guy is too muscular it just kinda makes me wanna gag!

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  • Alright, I'll admit, looks are the first thing I notice, as with almost anyone. But personality is what keeps me. However, as shady as this sounds, I couldn't be with anyone I wasn't attracted to physically. I wish I could, trust me. There are a few guys who are so sweet and amazing personality wise, but I just can't make myself like because they don't have the looks. So I think both are important to me. Because in my opinion, a relationship cannot thrive without both an emotional love and a physical desire.

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  • i think it depends on the balance between both. and the girl you ask. for me, there has to be a bit of a physical attraction, but I think that a WIDE variety of guys are attractive. I have found guys attractive that were a bit on the heavier side, as well as super skinny guys. I think that guys that look a little rough around the edges are attractive, as well as the preppy, clean cut guys. it all depends on who you're asking though. :)

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  • You have to be physically attracted to someone before dating. But beauty is also in the eye of the beholder. What I view attractive is very broad. I like cowboys, preps, average joe's, "teddy bears" as I call them (semi chubby and barrel chested) and guys that ride big bikes (not neccessarily "bikers" though.) others may see those as gross. But after the initial attraction, the looks fade. Ask people who have been married for a few decades, and they'll be the first to tell you that looks fade with time. I'd much rather date a guy that can make me laugh and make me feel good (and who is "average" looking) than to date a model wannabe or muscle freak.

    So in the end, it's personality... that lasts a lifetime.

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    • I saw that you updated your question. Define "skinny". There's nothing wrong with a guy that is slender, as long as he's not smaller framed than the girl he likes. Girls don't like to feel bigger or stronger than their guy. But in all reality, everyone has their own preferences. I know my friends and I differ on what we view as attractive.

  • Personality is key, for me even if there is a "hot" guy if I don't like or know his personality I will be able to see that logically he is "attractive" but I will not be attracted to him. If there is a physical trait that I can say I "like" its because I knew someone who's personality I liked and I thus over all liked who had that trait and it stood out, its not grounds for liking someone just a perk :P.

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  • Personality is important but I could never be without the looks.

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    • I like ur view, nice & simple.

  • personality. id go out with the ugliest guy if he had a great personality

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    • Thats a huge commitment...

    • Ok. Maybe not the ugliest...

    • About to say...lol

  • I know I'm in an older age bracket, but I"ve always been like this: for sure what a person notices first is appearance, but it's a rare guy or girl that is *everyone's* type. I don't like Brad Pitt, for example. But I have always found that a person's personality can make them seem more or less attractive. So a guy I might have initially found good-looking, if he's a jerk, seems less physcially attractive to me. And vice versa, if I guy is really great, he becomes more attractive.

    And guys who say that "nice guys" don't get girls are not usually talking about nice guys, in my experience. They talking about manipulative, passive-aggressive guys with a martyr complex who often don't even seem to like women, let alone respect them. Genuinely *kind* and *thoughtul* guys DO get the girls.

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  • Both. My crush is tall and skinny, and nice and caring. I honestly think that I am more attracted to his personality than his 'muscular' body. lol and he isn't very muscular because he's not athletic. he does do a lot of things though. . . anywho, I have to be physically attracted, but a guys personality holds more weight than looks.

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  • looks are what we're attracted to first, but if a guy's an asshole I don't care how hot he is. and sometimes a guy's personality will change the way I see him - if he's really cool and we have a lot in common then I'll start to look at him romantically and think he's really hot even when no one else does.

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  • I prefer the one I am attracted to, could be looks, could be personality or both. All the rules fail when attraction sets in.

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    • YOu're right, it could be either. depends on who the person is

    • Wow, what a great post said in only two sentences, especially the last one. I feel the same way about being attracted to girls. I've fallen for tons of girls that were attractive but not necessarily the best looking.

  • i think personality is most important looks do matter but not asmuch as personality in my opinion. a guy that I like can have a belly and I wodent care aslong as hw treats me right and with respects that is what matters to me.

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  • To me someone's personality makes up much of their beauty. I can't be attracted to someone who's personality I don't like. There's a lot of people I've met that I didn't think were that good looking, but once I talked to them and liked their personality then they actually got more physically attractive to. So..yah

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    • Yeah I guess deep down we all prefer personality

  • Both. You can't have one without the other. I'm not gonna want a guy with a nice personality that doesn't look good,nor would I want a good looking guy that had a bad personality.

    Body type doesn't determine your attractiveness. There are some girls who like skinny guys and think they are attractive just like there are ones who like muscular guys. The way you worded your question makes it seem like skinny guys can't be good looking

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    • Nah on the contrary I know some girls prefer that. I was just going for extremes so it would be easier to judge the answers

  • Looks, he has to be a 4/10... personality he has to be an 8/10.

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  • I like skinny guys with a little muscle. But hey, personality is number one. He should be HIDEOUS looking that's all. Normal or good looking, we always prefer the personality more even if we don't say it. I used to tell myself that the guy has to be gorgeous or I wouldn't date him but now I REALLY like two guys which aren't that good looking but are attractive in their own ways.

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  • I've dated average looking, good looking and hot men. Personality is the key. Looks always fade.

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  • i prefer personality. if a guy has a really good personality, it makes them look better or seem more attractive in my opinion.

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  • More from Girls
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What Guys Said 18

  • Sexual attraction comes first. Sorry to say but if you don't appeal to a woman on a physical level she's not going to give you the time to charm her with your personality.

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  • i know someone said it in here before me: but depending on the girl and guy and what he/shes looking for, at the particular time in his/her life (just sex or a serious relationship), it can be one or the other. Personally, 90 percent of the time, looks come first then personality. I will admit there are probably some rare occasional instances where two personalitites "click" really well and both people are genuine and mature enough to realize they would make a good couple regardless of any physical attraction. But in the real world, I think a relationship like that or any other wouldn't last because one or the other will move on to the "next best thing/fling." Its just human nature. I think people will come to realize they have to settle in the end. Lets not forget about money too. That's a major factor too! I think that would be an interesting poll between the three: looks personality or money?

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  • Ah.. you have hit on the main difference between men and women. Men will choose the opposite. :-) and yes, we are shallow. But it is much like a woman who will pick the guy with the better job over the poor guy who would never look at another girl.

    Good Luck,

    James

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  • Girls want a guy they feel safe with, who respects them, and someone who can make them laugh. Looks are on their list of things to consider, but it is not at the top like it is for us guys.

    Good Luck

    James

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    • I like your answer!

    • Thanks sweetie.. :-) drop me a personal note if you ever want to chat.. I love new pen pals..

  • In a way, there both one and the same.

    Your personality is portrayed in how you carry yourself, how you behave and the aura that you give out. It isn't really about what you look like superfically, on a deeper level, if you have a nice personality, girls will pick up on it, if you are confident enough in yourself to send out the right signals. Your appearance, is ultimately decided by you, it isn't about whether your skinny or muscular, Its about how you express yourself with what you got, that's what girls are picking up on, on either a conscious or sub conscious level.

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  • Girls like good looking assholes trust me bro. They won't admit it but they do.

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    • Because they radiate fake-confidence when all they really have is a mask disguising to be confident and girls miscontrue this for Real confidence+good looks= <3

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    • Yup. I saw a post similar to this one and when I posted that girls like assholes, a bunch of girls replied saying that's not true. That same day I saw a post asking do girls prefer nice guys or bad boys and every single girls said like the bad boy asshole type. It was even some of the girls that had just poster on the other question saying they like nice guys! They just can't admit they like the assholes

    • I think you're right bro. They settle for nice guys a lot of the time, but would never turn down a tall, strong, handsome badboy, face it ladies

  • Girls prefer personality 100%, the thing is that there are not a lot of guys with "attractive" personalities so they sometimes are forced to focus on looks.

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  • I know it's a question for girls, but I strongly believe girls would prefer personality more than looks.

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  • I don't think they can be seperated.

    Looks and personality go hand in hand to make someone unique and beautiful.

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  • girls are very shallow even though they pretend to be not. there is nothing you can do about it.

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    • Girls? It's not just girls, its guys too. You can't speak for all girls in general especially since you're a guy. I don't pretend anything, I'm straight up with people!

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    • Seeing as how guys are more visually stimulated than females, I'm going to say that males care more about thier partner's looks.

    • You got that right.

  • You have to be physically attracted to the person initially, that's the first thing you obviously see..however I think too many people place too much emphasis on looks first..hence why so many people have a hard time finding and or meeting anyone.

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  • usually girls go for the hot guys that are assholes

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    • ...and usually it's just the girls who are attractive looking and have bad personalities themselves.

    • I dunno, most girls don't seem to mind - even really pretty girls seem to focus more on personality

  • Looks. It is what it is.

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    • I don't know bruv...from these answers it looks like personality...and from my experience

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    • Lol wellllll I'm kinda sure that's what he was going for in his question....not positive but pretty sure

    • I actually meant everything, from dating to f*cking

  • The thing is if we speak biologically, looks(good genes) is a good indicator of health, so as humans we are attracted to people who can produce healthy offsprings, so looks will attract girls to you but you have to have the personality to keep them.

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  • what if you like a girl who prefers gold?

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  • Personality. Looks don't matter, any penis will do the job

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  • Depends on their age. Young, stupid, and immature girls go after looks. That was severely evident when I was in high school; all the football jocks had nearly every girl in the school dreaming about them. Sad thing is, those football jocks didn't give a sh*t about them, while "average" guys like me with deep respect for women were passed off.

    However, with age, comes maturity, and WOMEN go after personality. I have noticed that I am like an item with older women; ironically, because 20 something year-olds have never given me the time of day (despite that I hear a lot of them talking about how they wished they had a knight in shining armor or a guy like Edward from Twilight).

    My girlfriend now is amazing, I love her so deeply. She is in her mid 20s, and unlike the rest, she is very mature, and loves my personality. Her co-workers, sisters, neighbors, (all in their 30s+ ) have crushes on me, and are jealous of her because of the way I treat her.

    This is not to say that guys aren't guilty of the same things either; I just happened to have matured very early and realized that the "pretty girls" were always stuck-up b*tches and thus, I find a girls' personality WAY more attractive than her looks.

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  • Girls like looks and only looks.

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    • Ignorant much?

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    • Your confidence is the problem. The fact that you can't talk to girls is the bigger issue. Everyone likes an attractive partner but how can you get someone if you don't feel good about yourself? Girls don't like guys that are down on themselves.

    • If I looked better though I would have a girlfriend though.

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