Why did this guy contact me after 3 months of no talking?

So I met this guy from a dating site back in December. I felt comfortable with him, so I stayed the weekend with him though it wasn't intended as that at first. He even bought all my food that weekend even though I insisted I had money. I left and he told me to let him know when I'd be in town again cause I was planning on moving back to the area soon for a job. I didn't have a job at that point in the area, but I was looking (I ended up getting a job a month later). I didn't really hear from him much after that. He im'ed me briefly on Facebook and we talked for about 2 mins, and I told him not to be such a stranger. 3 months later he pokes me on Facebook. 3 months of no talking what-so-ever. No "hi, how are you doing?" Nothing. So I'm like, okay, wtf? I honestly thought I'd never hear from him again. I message him and say, long time no talk. He messages me back and says, "I know, what the hell! How's it been going?" so I reply and say surely he isn't surprised that it's been so long since we've talked cause he just kinda stopped talking to me. Then I told him how I was.

I noticed back in January this girl was leaving messages on his wall saying how she loved spending time with him and loved him, etc. I'm pretty sure it's his ex. Though his Facebook has said single the whole time.

I'm just not sure why he would decide to contact me after all this time. When I did visit him there was nothing sexual. Never kissed, held hands or anything. I even slept in the same bed as him and nothing happened. He had even offered to sleep on the couch. So no one can say "he wants a booty call" cause that's not the case. It's not even like we were super close friends and he wanted to get back in touch with me. I knew the dude for about 2-3 weeks. I expect most guys to just blow you off and never talk to you again, though his actions confuse me. So I'm sitting here thinking, why me?


Most Helpful Guy

  • If I'd spent the weekend with a girl...hell a guy for that matter, I would surely not wait for three days to have ANY kind of response "hey it was great", "let's do that again" or something like that..it's called basic politeness..And if it doesn't happen, at least I'd have a decent answer for if the girl is coming back at me first..

    Looks to me like the guy doesn't really know what he wants and/or very insecure (the whole couch thing doesn't mean...he's still a guy, but okay maybe he was too shy or even too respectful indeed towards you...*then*). I guess we all make mistakes but I'd wait it out (if you're interested in this guy) to see how he's approaching you the following days, but I would not show too much interest from your side at first.

    If he's shy, he'll be shy enough to in time show you he like to keep in touch

    If he's uninterested, he'll keep doing this for a couple of times just for the sake of the "hunting" part that we guys have..which makes me think it's better to keep a (small) distance from him to see how he reacts..

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      He had told me to text him when I got home, so I did. We sent a few texts back and forth, but nothing like our usual. Two or three days later I sent him a casual "Hey, I haven't really heard from you.." sort of text. He said he had been really busy. Then a few days later he im'ed me and we talked for like 2 mins. That was the last I heard from him til this week. To me it seems like I wasn't that interesting/important to not talk to for 3 months. Or that I was second rate.

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      Okay I may have been to extreme maybe earlier sorry bout that.

      Like you said though, it was nothing like the usual - now if that was the first real live meeting, that is pretty normal. Both you and he had to redraw their virtual picture of the other no matter how many pix are out there.Possibly he's rather sensitive and it may have blown him off a bit? I wouldn't go too far therefore yet to say you're not interesting, but if you think he's shy, tell him you're confused. And wait for a reaction