Today my boyfriend hit me...

We had gotten into an argument about my ex-boyfriend who recently began trying to contact me again. I, honestly, have been ignoring my ex's texts and calls because don't love him anymore and I truly do love my current boyfriend. however my current boyfriend did not believe me. we got into a heated argument and I got up to leave the room and he reared back his fist and punched me, I fell back and hit my head on the corner of the table and blacked, out, when I came to I was laying on the couch and he was sitting on the ottoman crying and when he saw that I was awake he stated apologizing like crazy. my head was bloody and my lip was split. I don't know what to make of this...advice?

Updates:
Thank you everyone for your wonderful advice. I'm pleased to say that I did report the incident and file charges and he was arrested. I am no longer with him and I opened up to close friends about the incident have gotten nothing but unconditional support
again, thank you

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Tell your family... get support from them and leave him... I know you love him but that isn't always the reason to stay. Be strong and stay strong... ditch your mobile phone number and get a new one... have other people answer any phones (he knows the number of) for them to tell him that you've gone away or something, and avoid seeing his face completely, get a trespass order, the pain and love will fade I promise you.. may take a while considering the time you have spent together... (usually half the time) People leave others even when they love them because it is not practical to stay... he needs to know never to hit another woman ever again, and if you are to stay that is not a lesson learned... he can do all the pleading he wants but that's only through the fear of losing you.. not because he didn't want to hurt you... if that was the case he would not of hit you in the first place. With love comes trust... and acceptance.

    Even if the chances were that you did still like you ex... so what?! He has got to learn how to deal with his emotions way better... he's got an iron fist and he should know when to use it and who to use it on... it's for protection not hitting your girlfriend when he gets that pinch of jealousy.

    99% chance it will happen again if you stay and you will feel the fool and it will kill your self esteem.

    Many woman don't leave and eventually destroys all or most of who they are.. don't be a sad statistic. Take it from me I have met these women and this is how it starts.

    I'm so sorry about it anyhow and it must have hurt emotionally and physically really bad.. you are not and don't feel protected by you boyfriend with obvious reasons.. no more pain... you can get the love you need from another and not get hurt like this. I am so sorry gal... it's hard... but please leave!

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    • Leave without warning... please don't tell him... it will only make things worse... he won't need an explanation... he will already know.

    • Well said.

What Guys Said 52

  • There's no excuse for hitting you. No excuse, no excuse. Dump him. This will happen again unless he gets therapy.

    I feel rreally bad because I flirted with a girl once and her boyfriend beat her up...not as badly as a punch in the face, but still...it was my fault, she couldn't help my flirting with her, but he was one of the 'I own you' types like yours.

    So please take my advice!

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  • DUMP HIM!

    Dump that moron asap and make sure that every girl in your world knows why you dumped that caveman.

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  • Here's what to make of it:

    With your ex boyfriend - If you want him to leave you alone, don't just ignore him; Tell him.

    - We men are very territorial when it's someone we care about. If you don't tell him, you're leaving the door open for jealousy issues and drama (But hopefully not physical violence)

    With your current boyfriend - Both you and him are scar'd for a while. Your bruises and trust are scar'd; but his trust and ego is damaged. No real man wants to hit his girlfriend; it's likely that this all happened due to the heated debate.

    With the situation: GET THE @#$% OUT OF THE HOUSE

    Look.. I'm not trying to "smash" on anyone; but sitting around is the same as patting him on the back: "I still love you john, it's okay"... Bullsh*t! The dude socked you in the face hard enough to make you black out.

    You may not be a fragile girl; I get that. But if you don't plant your foot down, no one will. He needs to realise in his head that this doesn't need to happen. Socking a wall is a better alternative. If the panzy wants to hit women, his ass should go to jail; no offence to your boyfriend - I just flat out don't tolerate it until certain "limits" have been met (Like if she has her hand around my kid's throat)

    Right now you need to think deeply - Are you gonna sit around and get smacked about just because you're avoiding your ex? It doesn't make a dime of sense to me and here you are still recovering from the crap probably to this month.

    I can only hope and pray that you're one of the smart women that find a new boyfriend.

    ~ ArtistBBoy

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    • Dud, she did try to leave. I don't balm her in thinking that wasn't successful. besides she did resolve it the right way in the end.

  • It's never about "leaving him" or "loving him too much." It's about loving yourself enough to not put yourself in situation of abuse.

    You can love him all you want, but if it's "okay" for someone to abuse you physically or mentally, then the real problem is how much you love yourself.

    We teach others how to treat us and by staying you're basically teaching him it's okay to repeat his abusive mistakes.

    Nobody can tell you what to do with your life, just realize that it's choices like THIS that will improve or devastate the rest of your life.

    Seek advice from a loving mature female mentor as fast as possible.

    ~ Robby

    My Blog ( link )

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  • If you don't react to this right now, he may think that you will never react to such physical acts.

    You have to react as fast as possible.

    Try not to talk to him for at least a week, not returning his calls, not texting him, etc.

    After a week, tell him that you are ready to forgive him.

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    • Tell him she's ready to forgive him? Are you f** serious?

    • Show All
    • NEVER give a second chance to wifebeaters! :@

    • Honey, my ex promised me & begged me to stay & said he would never do it again. don't believe him trust me I know from experience. don't be stupid.

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What Girls Said 92

  • Dump that piece of crap.. i've been beaten too by my ex

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  • I know both you and I know that he isn't a brute. He is probably the most loving man you have ever met. He takes care of you like no one else has and makes you feel safer than anyone else. That's because men who hit have a specific personality. He's a caring, loving, very insecure guy who has a slight streak of jealousy. But that jealousy starts to get a little out of control. In the relationship you can feel yourself getting a little less opinionate, a little more worried about his needs then you should, and a little more afraid of hurting him then you should but you just can't put your finger on why that is. The jealousy over old boyfriends turns into jealousy over any man. It turns into jealousy over friends and family. I truly believe you did ignore your ex cause that's what happens. You really have no desire to get into a fight with your boyfriend so you avoid anything that will do that.

    So the first time he hits you it's over something like this. Something where it seems he is just so full of passion for you. Something where both of you can convince yourself it was sort of understandable. Wrong, but understandable.

    But something happened when he hit you that you don't realize. He just taught himself that all those feelings of weakness and feeling less like a man go away when he hits you. He felt strong when lashing out at the source of his pain, you. After it's over, he immediately feels sick to his stomach. So he is going to cry and he is going to promise to never do it again. And he is going to be sincere, in that moment. But the problem is that he just learned that the quick fix is not to hit, but to dominate. So it's not always going to be hitting. And it's not always going to be over a man. It will be over money, over opinions, over sex, over decisions. It is going to be shoving, hair pulling, screaming, demeaning. All those things are going to give him a rush of testosterone and give him his power back. Watching you cower will make him feel strong. And he becomes addicted to that feeling.

    And what happens to you is you become a mouse. Any strength you have is gone. Because it is easier to take a hit then try and fight with him. Also, you will become addicted to the "honeymoon phase" after the hits. That's when you are the dominate one. He will grovel and beg and buy you things and you feel like a million bucks. That's why the cycle works so well. Cause after you are at your lowest point in pain, you are on top of a mountain feeling amazing. But that will end because he will forget, he will care a little less every time, and he will start thinking more and more "She made me do it!". Cause a man like that can only take groveling for so long. It builds resentment that he feels weak and the cycle starts again.

    I know this seems like a drastic response to just one punch but every woman who ends up in a hospital beaten half to death started with just one punch.

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    • SO, SO, SO glad to hear the update that you left him! It is good to see someone make such a wise choice when there are emotions involved.

  • I will quote what Oprah said

    "LOVE DOESN'T HURT".

    Please leave him instantly. For the sake of your well-being, all the people who answered you here will give you the definite support to do it. It's very difficult to do so, but you must and you will leave. Absolutely no one deserves to be treated like that. Also tell your family and friends about this to get support.

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  • It will just get worse...

    And he will always apologize.

    He has anger issues, and he needs help.

    You should talk to him about this.

    Tell him you love him and you care, but that you have to break up wtih him for your own safety. If he really loves you, he will understand and will try to get help to fix his anger problem. Let him know you will be there for him, as a friend. But until he is "healed" you have to leave him.

    Sticking with him, and waiting will not make things better. He will def do it again.

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  • It's an age old saying that if he hits you once he will again. I am really sorry about what happened to you no matter what you did it doesn't give him the right to lay his hands on you let alone to the point where you were blacked out. If you really truly are willing to make this relationship work then it is in the best interest for the both of you for him to seek counseling. He obviously has an anger and trust issue. I understand many people believe that if he does it once he'll do it again but I do believe that people like this need help and with enough time and counseling can get better. My advice to you would be to take a break from him until things cool down. Let him know that you think he should seek counseling but give him his space right now to get better and to think about his actions. I will keep you and him in my prayers and I hope everything works out for the best.

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