Today my boyfriend hit me...

[Anonymous]

We had gotten into an argument about my ex-boyfriend who recently began trying to contact me again. I, honestly, have been ignoring my ex's texts and calls because don't love him anymore and I truly do love my current boyfriend. however my current boyfriend did not believe me. we got into a heated argument and I got up to leave the room and he reared back his fist and punched me, I fell back and hit my head on the corner of the table and blacked, out, when I came to I was laying on the couch and he was sitting on the ottoman crying and when he saw that I was awake he stated apologizing like crazy. my head was bloody and my lip was split. I don't know what to make of this...advice?

Updates

+1 y

Thank you everyone for your wonderful advice. I'm pleased to say that I did report the incident and file charges and he was arrested. I am no longer with him and I opened up to close friends about the incident have gotten nothing but unconditional support

Updates

+1 y

again, thank you

[hisangel]

I know both you and I know that he isn't a brute. He is probably the most loving man you have ever met. He takes care of you like no one else has and makes you feel safer than anyone else. That's because men who hit have a specific personality. He's a caring, loving, very insecure guy who has a slight streak of jealousy. But that jealousy starts to get a little out of control. In the relationship you can feel yourself getting a little less opinionate, a little more worried about his needs then you should, and a little more afraid of hurting him then you should but you just can't put your finger on why that is. The jealousy over old boyfriends turns into jealousy over any man. It turns into jealousy over friends and family. I truly believe you did ignore your ex cause that's what happens. You really have no desire to get into a fight with your boyfriend so you avoid anything that will do that.

So the first time he hits you it's over something like this. Something where it seems he is just so full of passion for you. Something where both of you can convince yourself it was sort of understandable. Wrong, but understandable.

But something happened when he hit you that you don't realize. He just taught himself that all those feelings of weakness and feeling less like a man go away when he hits you. He felt strong when lashing out at the source of his pain, you. After it's over, he immediately feels sick to his stomach. So he is going to cry and he is going to promise to never do it again. And he is going to be sincere, in that moment. But the problem is that he just learned that the quick fix is not to hit, but to dominate. So it's not always going to be hitting. And it's not always going to be over a man. It will be over money, over opinions, over sex, over decisions. It is going to be shoving, hair pulling, screaming, demeaning. All those things are going to give him a rush of testosterone and give him his power back. Watching you cower will make him feel strong. And he becomes addicted to that feeling.

And what happens to you is you become a mouse. Any strength you have is gone. Because it is easier to take a hit then try and fight with him. Also, you will become addicted to the "honeymoon phase" after the hits. That's when you are the dominate one. He will grovel and beg and buy you things and you feel like a million bucks. That's why the cycle works so well. Cause after you are at your lowest point in pain, you are on top of a mountain feeling amazing. But that will end because he will forget, he will care a little less every time, and he will start thinking more and more "She made me do it!". Cause a man like that can only take groveling for so long. It builds resentment that he feels weak and the cycle starts again.

I know this seems like a drastic response to just one punch but every woman who ends up in a hospital beaten half to death started with just one punch.

[hisangel]

SO, SO, SO glad to hear the update that you left him! It is good to see someone make such a wise choice when there are emotions involved.

[Limpbiscit]

Tell your family... get support from them and leave him... I know you love him but that isn't always the reason to stay. Be strong and stay strong... ditch your mobile phone number and get a new one... have other people answer any phones (he knows the number of) for them to tell him that you've gone away or something, and avoid seeing his face completely, get a trespass order, the pain and love will fade I promise you.. may take a while considering the time you have spent together... (usually half the time) People leave others even when they love them because it is not practical to stay... he needs to know never to hit another woman ever again, and if you are to stay that is not a lesson learned... he can do all the pleading he wants but that's only through the fear of losing you.. not because he didn't want to hurt you... if that was the case he would not of hit you in the first place. With love comes trust... and acceptance.

Even if the chances were that you did still like you ex... so what?! He has got to learn how to deal with his emotions way better... he's got an iron fist and he should know when to use it and who to use it on... it's for protection not hitting your girlfriend when he gets that pinch of jealousy.

99% chance it will happen again if you stay and you will feel the fool and it will kill your self esteem.

Many woman don't leave and eventually destroys all or most of who they are.. don't be a sad statistic. Take it from me I have met these women and this is how it starts.

I'm so sorry about it anyhow and it must have hurt emotionally and physically really bad.. you are not and don't feel protected by you boyfriend with obvious reasons.. no more pain... you can get the love you need from another and not get hurt like this. I am so sorry gal... it's hard... but please leave!

[Limpbiscit]

Leave without warning... please don't tell him... it will only make things worse... he won't need an explanation... he will already know.

[Littletad]

Well said.

[Dragonlady]

hey I've been there, this could be an accident or a warning sign that he's abusive and controling ...one of my old bfs used to push me so hard id go flying back this is assault. I know how it feels especially if you love them. Just remember that if this keeps happening then its not OK to keep forgiving him. If he did it once he can do it again. You love him a lot so if you don't want t end it with him yet, all you can do is forgive him and move on. But if he does it again, it won't get better only worse the more you stay with him, I know from experience. And its tough the longer you stay guys like that don't tend to change, they have anger issues and can't resort to any other way then you unlease on their loved one. That type of relationship is dangerous, and many girl have ended up killed by their own boyfriend, accident of not. So pay close attention to him from now, and take note of any other warning signs that may come your way.

like

- how does he treat his parents, does he scream and yell at them often?

-is he controling has he ever grabbed you or forced you to do somthing you didn't want.?

-does he respect you free time or privacy? a controling guy won't care for your things he thinks he has the right to look through anything after all your his property and he thinks he owns you,

- has he had history of violence with his exs?

- when you decide to leave or go out does he try to start a fight to stop you?

a controling guy is munipulative and will start a fight over anything he doesn't want you to do, ending in him getting what he wants.

anyways I hope this helps.

[ArtistBboy]

Here's what to make of it:

With your ex boyfriend - If you want him to leave you alone, don't just ignore him; Tell him.

- We men are very territorial when it's someone we care about. If you don't tell him, you're leaving the door open for jealousy issues and drama (But hopefully not physical violence)

With your current boyfriend - Both you and him are scar'd for a while. Your bruises and trust are scar'd; but his trust and ego is damaged. No real man wants to hit his girlfriend; it's likely that this all happened due to the heated debate.

With the situation: GET THE @#$% OUT OF THE HOUSE

Look.. I'm not trying to "smash" on anyone; but sitting around is the same as patting him on the back: "I still love you john, it's okay"... Bullsh*t! The dude socked you in the face hard enough to make you black out.

You may not be a fragile girl; I get that. But if you don't plant your foot down, no one will. He needs to realise in his head that this doesn't need to happen. Socking a wall is a better alternative. If the panzy wants to hit women, his ass should go to jail; no offence to your boyfriend - I just flat out don't tolerate it until certain "limits" have been met (Like if she has her hand around my kid's throat)

Right now you need to think deeply - Are you gonna sit around and get smacked about just because you're avoiding your ex? It doesn't make a dime of sense to me and here you are still recovering from the crap probably to this month.

I can only hope and pray that you're one of the smart women that find a new boyfriend.

~ ArtistBBoy

[Pre-medStudent]

Dud, she did try to leave. I don't balm her in thinking that wasn't successful. besides she did resolve it the right way in the end.

[Bruce]

Let me tell you what to make of it. If he hit you once, he is going to hit you again...and again and again. I have told this same story on this site before and will do it again in the hopes it may sa ve your life.

I have stepped between thug, ass holes like your boy friend on too many occassions...and will have to really think about it before I do it again. My wife was furious for my doing it, when I was married, and also did it when I was a single, younger guy.

If you stay with this barbarian son of a b*&^%...you will need a body guard, and maybe a burial plot before you need more hospitalization insurance...

Not many men are willing to interfere in a domestic beating, and I am not sure I ever will again, because so many stupid, needy, gullible women go back to these ass holes when they cry and say they are sorry, my father was one of thos ass holes and had I been bigger when My day was abusing my mother...I would have killed the bastard.

Don't get some other guy or woman killed or injured when they try to protect you THE NEXT TIME he hits you ...and god damn it ,he will...

I can't be there to beat him to death...the next time he knocks you unconscous..and probably no one else will either...

Get the hell away from this ass hole, and stay away and stay alive.

Bruce

[swagger]

A lot of Females on here giving advice to "Leave him"., Yet I wonder what they would do if they were in a relationship and truly loved the person?

I'm guessing that about 50% of women would give the person another chance. I'm not saying this is the right thing to do but that's just how love can mix your mind up and assist in lousy decision making.

It's easy to give out advice and say leave him when you are not in that situation yourself. But you need to hold back and give advice.

What if it was the other way round. What advice would you give to a man who is getting hit on by the Woman? What does that make the woman?

Anyway; To the question asker. The advice I give to you is be very cautious whatever decision you make. If you decide to give him another chance you need to set certain rules of what you will and will not accept. You need to make a promise to yourself that if he crosses any of those barrieers then you leave him straight away.

If you decidde to leave him then do so with your head held high as it takes a really strong willed person to not let their head rule thier heart.

Good luck to you.

[jacquesvol]

NEVER give a second chance to wifebeaters! :@

[swagger]

I bet you you have a wifebeater in you Jaquesvol. You are also very repetative so perhaps you would do it again and again..

[toulouse]

"You can love him all you want, but if it's "okay" for someone to abuse you physically or mentally, then the real problem is how much you love yourself."

- IMPORTANT point... Well said Robby*

- It is not about him - SHE is the one writing SHE is the one threatened, & as far as all the second chance what ifs..., if someone acts subhuman, the do not deserve human chances.

Who cares if he is sorry, it shows that that is how he deals with his emotions.. Who said guys wee not emotional ^ ^

[strawberrysweet]

This is very true, it took me 5 years to leave the man that was hitting me & no one understood why I would go back to him, but I did love him. but I also learned the hard way . it never gets any better, I just had to figure it out for myself.

[Honest-Matt]

Everyone's being over dramatic in here... They are jumping the stereotypical conclusion that your boyfriend is no good and was upset in the end because he feared what you would do.

Yes this is a possibility...

But when I was younger I was rough and foolish. Whenever I hurt someone I wouldn't be upset thinking about what they'll do to me. I would be upset because I tell myself that I should have controlled myself, I should have been thinking properly.

I get upset because I see them injured and I regret it all and feel heavy remorse and wish it hadn't happened... But I have since changed because people CAN change no matter what anyone tells you. We all have our barriers to change though such like my father, but even he is changing...

It's your choice to assess your future in this relationship. But here is some advice to help your assessment.

- I would talk to him about what had happened. This topic is uncomfortable so establishing the comfort before talking about it is best. If he still refuses let it go and tell him that you'll talk about it another time.

- If you do get into the topic ask him why he was upset when you woke on the couch.

- Ask him what pushed him into hitting you.

- At the end I would tell him that you forgive him. Even if he doesn't have the stress of remorse which I'm sure he does, it will still help by doing so.

This is your choice, you can leave whenever you want or you can stay if you truly love him.

[Olivia9]

There is no excuse for hitting a woman ever.period. the end. Only spineless, weak, men hit women.How dare you imply that if she TRULY loves him she'll stay, and let him beat the living crap out of her! But then again maybe in your world happily ever after ends with the woman in a body bag huh.

[swagger]

To Olivia9

So what does that make Women who hit Men, knowing they can't hit them back?

[Thiezz]

It makes those women exceptions to the "don't hit women" rule ;)

[ALWAYSclassy]

This kind of thinking is why women and girls stay getting beat because people act like there is really a valid excuse for relationship violence. Who cares about him being "sorry"? she needs to think about herself first and foremost and make the best move for her.

[70sikitechie]

Even if she doesn forgive him eventually, she shouldn't just say it to smooth things over. total trust was lost here...it doesn't take an expalnation and an apology to get that back.

[jacquesvol]

NEVER give a second chance to a guy who hits a woman! :@

[Honest-Matt]

Every time I hear stories about men beating women I never hear about how they actually sat down with their boyfriend to talk about why and how the situation happened. It's always through arguments and for the lack of a better word, nagging.

All I was trying to tell her was to at least try to resolve and help each other understand the situation. I'm not saying hitting is ever a good thing but stopping it after the first time is possible. It's her life, not ours, it's her choice to stay or go.

[hisangel]

I'm sorry to say this but I'm glad you left a response because your words are textbook abuser thinking pattern.

There is remorse for not only the hit but for the loss of control (and probably the shame of feeling like your father).

Also, there is no "talking it out" with an abuser. You get to a point where all you do is praise him because anytime you open your mouth he gets hurt that you don't love, trust, respect him. There is no sharing your side of the story because they are even better

[hisangel]

At emotional manipulation then they are at hitting.

No one deserves being hit. Not a woman and not you. No matter how bad the sickness was in your father, you didn't deserve it either.

Yes they are humans that deserve love too. And we all have our sicknesses. But their sickness destroys the strength and heart of those around them. It completely changes them. There is no talking to that.

[Honest-Matt]

He hit her once, just once. He's not an abuser yet, I believe in second chances, thirds, not so much. Think what you want not all guys are the same.

[toulouse]

"So what does that make Women who hit Men, knowing they can't hit them back? - 5 days ago

"Thiezz" - It makes those women exceptions to the "don't hit women" rule ;) "

lol Excellent *

[bnwsmile]

If he'll hit you once he'll hit you a thousand times. You did nothing wrong for him to even justify hitting you (not that hitting a woman EVER needs justification). Don't be a victim to his abuse. You're young and you have you're entire life ahead of you. Do you really want to spend it being someone's punching bag when they cannot control their anger?

Let's play the if game.

IF you stay and IF he hits you again and IF you land on that corner just right and IF you're put into a coma, or worse, should he be able to just walk free?

No it's against the law.

Should you or would you stay with him after this happened?

My guess is no.

So why give him the chance to make things worse for you?

IF he LOVED YOU he wouldn't have hit you in the first place.

My advice is to leave him. If he hits you call the cops and get a restraining order.

Do not give him a second chance JUST because he felt bad about hitting you. I guarantee you he wasn't crying because he felt bad about hitting you. I know 100% it was more because he wasn't sure what he was going to do if you had a serious injury FROM him hitting you.

ALSO if it made you black out and HE DIDN'T CALL 911... yeah... pretty sure that says enough right there. He doesn't care enough for you to ensure your safety or to worry of your health. There is not matter here IF he hit you because he didn't care enough to get you medical attention when you should have had it. PLEASE do not stick around for this to "play out". Turn around and never look back. TRUE LOVE CAN FIGHT BACK THE URGE TO HIT SOMEONE YOU DO TRULY CARE ABOUT!

Best Wishes and I hope you get through this as smoothly as possible. If you need to talk just msg me on here. I know a lot regarding abuse and women simply shouldn't stand for it. You are worth more than an outlet for frustrations.

Take it easy.

~bnwsmile

[s33ker]

Ok... the thing is... you should probably leave this guy NOW. It will likely save you a ton of trouble. HOWEVER, if you do stick around... and it's likely you will... they all do for a while... you should seriously consider filing a complaint or taking some pictures etc. so that there is proof of the event. You need to tell him that you will leave him instantly with no talking or arguing if it happens again. And you need to stick to it. If this guy lays hands on you... pushing, slapping, hitting or ANYTHING you simply have to be done with it. No talks. Just move on.

It is possible for a young man to make this mistake and truly regret it, learn from it and not repeat it.

All that said... giving you a busted lip, knocking you into the table and causing you to black out is really dramatic. If he outright punched you in the face then he has some SERIOUS self control issues and he could be a danger to be around. So I know you probably won't, but please please please you must seriously consider just walking away NOW.

[sumina7]

Obviously this is all very confusing to you.

You would have never done this.

You do not know any one who would have done this.

Clearly, there must be some explanation.

May be you did something wrong? May be he misunderstood something? He was overcome by emotion? May be he loves you so much that he can not stand the thought of you thinking about your ex?

He was so apologetic and was crying. So, he must have lost control and needs to be forgiven and given a second chance.

These are the thoughts and explanations girls go through to try and understand and this leads to continuation of abuse. Violence followed by apology is what keeps the abused from leaving.

DO NOT MAKE THIS MISTAKE!

HE DESRVES TO BE ARRESTED AND LOCKED UP!

What if he had done this to some one on the street? Some one who does not know him? Would not police have been called and he arrested? Then why should he be allowed to get away because he did this to some one who he"loves"?

He does not love you. He wants to own you.

FILE A POLICE COMPLAINT. TELL EVERYONE YOU KNOW.

LEAVE!

[ZenSpace]

Wow.

This is serious. Only you can decide how to handle this, but I think this does not sound like a healthy relationship.

In his defense, it sounds like this guy does truly regret what he did, so he's not exactly some serial rapist who is stalking you, he's not like an evil monster or anything, he's a guy who got mad and did something he can't take back. On the other hand... damn. He hit you. He not only hit you, he hit you really hard.

Honestly I do not think there is any salvaging this relationship. He made a HUGE mistake, I mean if he can't control his anger now, do you trust him to control his anger in the future? Will you ever look at him the same again? Will you ever trust him again? Would you want to?

If you had been with this guy for 10 years, and this was the only time this ever happened, maybe give him ONE and only one more chance, if he ever hits you again leave immediately. But if you've only known this guy a few months, I don't think its worth it.

If I were talking to the guy, I'd say this: "How is punching your girlfriend even an option?" I mean no matter how angry I get I'd never do that. For me if I flat out completely lost control, I can imagine throwing things or breaking things I can imaging saying horrible stuff, yelling, but punching a girl is not something I'd do unless I was attacked and the girl was trying to kill me. I'd be worried that it even occurred to him to do that.

[Cluelesswithmen]

Rising your hand to a woman is just wrong. The only way I will justify this is if the man is in a physically abusive relationship as well and he hits her as self defensive (you can always just pick her up and throw her, if I was hitting you in the heat of the argument I would understand why you did it). On that note, this isn't a good sign if you two haven't been dating for long. Regardless of why he was upset it's the fact that you tried to walk away from the convo and that's how he stops you?...

The way I see it is it's like breaking the seal, it doesn't matter if this was the first time with you or the first time ever he has done this, if it was done once the chances of abuse continuing is probable. Don't be scared to tell him you won't stand for this and mean it! Then walk away from him (do you really want that in the back of your mind the next time you two have a heated argument? Being on the ground with a black eye? Then thinking of lies to tell others where it came from?) No one really benefits from a situation like this. The female lives scared and the man (who needs help) isn't getting that help and runs the possibility of hitting his future children from not being able to control his anger.

Sorry disrespectful in my books (I don't even let my father raise his hand to me, I'm sure as hell ain't gonna let any other man do that to me).

Good luck to you.

[FloppyBunny]

I'm so glad by the time I read this question, you've already done the right thing.

A man hitting a woman is NEVER right. there really is NO excuse. If he's frustrated with you, he can just walk off. Abusers are always the type of guys who act totally non-confrontational when dealing with other people but the moment they get home, they beat the crap out of their kids, wife, girlfriend, pets for the smallest of "infractions". These abusers basically imagine they're constantly getting wronged or getting slighted by their significant other. Even in your case, he hit you over nothing. And even if you DID have feelings for your Ex, SO WHAT? it still doesn't justify hitting a woman!

I hope lots of women in abusive relationships will see your question and realize they need to get away from the abuser!

abusers are weak, puny, pathetic excuse for a man! They only pick on those who are weaker and love them the most. Abusers are too much of a wuss to take on a real man in a fight so they go and attack those they should be protecting instead!

[bobair]

It's never about "leaving him" or "loving him too much." It's about loving yourself enough to not put yourself in situation of abuse.

You can love him all you want, but if it's "okay" for someone to abuse you physically or mentally, then the real problem is how much you love yourself.

We teach others how to treat us and by staying you're basically teaching him it's okay to repeat his abusive mistakes.

Nobody can tell you what to do with your life, just realize that it's choices like THIS that will improve or devastate the rest of your life.

Seek advice from a loving mature female mentor as fast as possible.

~ Robby

My Blog ( link )

[ArtistBboy]

Best answer. By far.

[Anonymous]

Ok, I didn't even read the whole thing.. LEAVE him now! Get out! He is manipulating you.. And someone who will hit you does NOT love you! Take it from someone who has been in a verbally abusive relationship and felt trapped.. IT doesn't matter if you feel you are in love with him, he's not for sure, and do you seriously want to be with someone who controls you in this manor and doesn't truly care about you. I know you may be reluctant.. but please, at least give yourself a few months break from this guy so you can see how bad he is for you!

Think about this, don't get into the situation like I did.. End up having his kid, have no one who can take you in when you finally realize how awful he is, no car since he made sure to not fix or replace your broken down car, and no one will hire you because you have to work day care hours.. That's what I've been through and he didn't beat me, but it was darn close to as bad as that.

Do you want to end up trapped one day, it can happen.. and will most likely if you stay in this relationship..

[Anonymous]

I am really sorry that this happened to you, really.

You know, when a man hits a woman, the best thing a woman should do is starting to keep her distance with him, break up although she doesn't want it from the bottom of her heart, even though he apologizes an infinite number of times, weeps, cries and begs for her forgiveness, but IF HE DID IT ONCE, BE SURE THAT IT WILL HAPPEN AGAIN.

Until now, I know four reasons for breaking up:

1. If one of the two doesn't want the relationship anymore (here there is some possibility in a future to hang out again).

2. Cheating

3. Being always possessive and harassing.

4. Physical, emotional abuse.

It's up to you to gain courage to tell him that you don't want to be with him, and you have the right to do it because of what had happened.

Tell him that you can pass his distrust to you, but ABSOLUTELY YOU CAN'T PASS HIS VIOLENT BEHAVIOUR, that the best thing to do is to part ways and move on.

I am sure that you have other people who loves you (family, close friends) and you can count on for support. Count on with people who REALLY LOVE YOU, TRUST YOU and can support you with him. Please, don't be afraid.

[Ivansanzana]

Two things:

If you love your current boyfriend you must cut off all communications with your ex-boyfriend, you have created a grey area and males don't like grey areas, they are just too open and flexible, you need to protect your relationship and give him confidence in you, after all it is the female who sets the boundries and if you create these grey areas other males will try to penetrate more than just your relationship.

Your current boyfriend reacted very poorly, he handled a situation with brute force, if you think about it, this would have never gone that far if proper boundries had been set by you with other males, be correct and clear about whom you want in your life, I believe it was him who punched you, I also believe it was him who picked you up, briught you to the couch and felt incredibly guilty and sorry for what he had done, you must also set boundries in your own relationship, hitting a woman or a man is not acceptable in a relationship, when things go down to that level there has clearly been a breakdown in communication.

Thisnk! if he was in contact with another woman and didn't want to cut it off and made you feel insecure, would you want to skin him alive?

There is an old saying, "The Golden Rule" "Do unto other as you would hvae others to do unto you"

Take a quiet moment and grow from this!

Good luck and all the best to you!

[Asker]

What part of I was ignoring the texts from my ex was unclear? communication is a two way street, I was not talking to my ex, my current boyfriend (now ex) assumedi was despite what I had told him there fore he was the one witht the trust/communication issues. there is NO excuse for what he did to me AT ALL and implying so is not only insulting, but irresponsible.

[Tamikaze]

Ugg, that is horrible advice. This is not about an ex or a breakdown in communication. This is about a person who has serious anger management issues.

[Ivansanzana]

I know the "Politically Correct" will hone in on the physical abuse and want you to call the police and have him arrested, OK! do it! this will not change or correct the problem, in your next relationship you will see that the same action will get a similar reaction, and after all if your boyfriend at the time doesn't react in a demonstrative manner, you will not think he loves you. All I'm saying is look within your self, and ask, what are you doing that causes that type of reaction in others.

[Asker]

You're a moron

[DanielleNeil]

Wow seriously how is it her fault at all that he didn't have the self control to handle things in a better way? I'm thinking you have probably done a little woman beating yourself to defend it so strongly! I think she did the right thing! some people have trust issues that have nothing to do with how their partner is acting at all! you should never give adivce in this catagory ever again!!!!!

[chocolatemilk]

First and foremost, no matter the situation, a REAL Man...will NEVER hit a woman. He will take the time to ask question and see what you have to say. One who will not result to hitting you just because he was upset that your ex starting texting you. I can understand that there may have been some kind of misunderstanding between that for him to do that. This may have been the first time, I don't know, yes he may have cried about it. Like I said, a REAL Man will never hit a woman. With that said, situations like these will only progress to a worse situation.

Secondly, if you really care about your boyfriend and want things to work, you need to go to psychologist. You two need to work through this and see if it worth saving the relationship. Keep in mind, that this threatens your physical safety and there is nothing worse than living in fear, with the one that you love.

Third, if you do plan on working this out, please keep some kind of record of this event. Write a journal about it and be as detailed about this as much as possible. Take a picture of your injuries and make sure that the date stamp is on the picture and give a copy of that to a trusted friend to keep. Also, to make sure that you didn't get any crucial head injuries...Go to the ER. You need to worry about yourself above all, if you're not happy with your life...who will make it that way.

Be safe and think about this as much as you can, for your own safety

[lovelygirl1024]

i have been in situations similar to this and 3 years later still never had the guts to break it off. I promise you that if you let this slide eventually it will happen again. after I ended my relationship with my madly-in-love, semi-abusive boyfriend I decided to work at a hotline for domestic violence. my ex was completely in love with me. I thought he would do anything in the world to make me happy. but he would still break into my house, wouldn't respect my wished when I asked him to leave or when I asked him to get off of me. if he wanted to talk I knew I didn't have the option. he would kidnap me in his car and start driving until I gave him what he was looking for. he would usually only damage my belongings and not me, but I promise you that is still an abusive relationship. every time he said he was sorry and he would make it up to me and it would never happen again. he deserved to get the cops called on him. you have to think about what your family would say? (that is if you're close to them) I can beg you all day to end it with this boy, but only you can make that decision. I promise you that this is the beginning of a very unhealthy relationship and suggest you think higher of yourself becuase you don't deserve that, and I don't even know you!

[Ephram]

It's not just bad that he hit you - he also did it for NO REASON WHATSOEVER!

He did it, because he DIDN'T EVEN BOTHER BELIEVING IN YOU!

He hit you, because he is such an ignorant BASTARD, that he even forgot how to trust his own girlfriend.

I'll understand if you want to give him another chance. But do consider, that if you stay with him on this one, the next time he does it, he will DEFINITELY think that you're just going to forgive him again. So he won't even feel sorry at all... There's a VERY high chance that he's just gonna repeat it the next time he gets p*ssed off for no reason.

Real men talk things out. Only pathetic imbecils like this one resort to hitting their girlfriends, because it's the only thing that makes sense in their tiny little brains

[tongakid]

OK, stay with the guy if you truly believe any of the following :

1) you deserved to get hit

2) being knocked unconscious by someone you love is an acceptable behaviour

3) love triumphs your own personal safety

Because THIS is what it comes down to.

Hitting your parter is UNACCEPTABLE UNDER EVERY CONDITION.

You will love other people, but you do not deserve to be hit under the threat of violence.

And then suggest that he seeks out anger management classes.

Also, call the police. Drop the charges later if you like, but he has to know without any confusion that YOU CANNOT DO THAT SHIT EVER.

For what it is worth, this site will not allow me to make the font bigger or bolder, so where you see all caps, assume I'm holding your arms and saying this very loudly to you.

[smentor991]

You wouldn't believe how many girls have that mentality

[tongakid]

@smentor991 - I know. It's a wonder how the douchebags of the world end up with wonderful women and how these wonderful women accept this 'fate'.

@question asker - I am proud of you. You did very much the correct thing in all cases.

[johnny_hustle]

You should stay with him, so that way if he gets jealous again he can lose his control and punch you again. Honestly, you should have him go to an anger management class. get himself together, and in the meantime, you need to say you need a "break" until he gets himself together. He will eventually say he has gotten himself together, rather its true or not. you should just go on with your life. and maybe find another guy you like before he gets "better" according to him. and obviously my first sentence was sarcasm

[stktder]

First of all, lets talk about your ex. If you truly have no feelings for him and he is bothering you, then you should have said something much earlier to your current boyfriend. It is your boyfriends business to be aware of any mis going ons with your ex's or else it might look as if you are running around behind his back. That said...in one way, you got what you deserved. I know it is horrible hearing that. The amount of emotional stress your boyfriend received all at one time as a surprise was probably over-whelming. As for the physical violence he showed on you...well that is unforgivable. In the future it will only get worse unless he gets help. I feel you both need to get help professionally if you care for each other, as I suspect.

[sweetnsassy23]

I would agree that you should leave anyone whose abusive even if its just in the heat of the moment..however you seem like you love him alot..so therapy is needed on both parts..as far as your ex..if you were truly tired of his texts you should have changed your # or blocked him to get the point across..for your relationships sake..it wouldve saved time and stress..

[theliteraryfeline]

I cannot believe you just told a victim of abuse she deserved it. I do not care what she did. You do not hit a woman. So what if he was under stress--real men can control themselves.

[Anna19]

No, she didn't deserve what she got. If it was just pulling her by the arm roughly or something, then yeah you could talk about that, but he even knocked her out!

[vmw2008]

No she did not get what she deserved. It's not like she shot his mother. An ex boyfriend was bothering her. I can't believe you'd even suggest she deserved that.

[saphirasilverwings]

All hitting stuff aside, it's not her boyfriend's business to know about her ex. If she still had feelings for her ex, of course the honest thing to do would be to leave her current boyfriend. But he's not her personal defender from exes. Having him involved would only create unnecessary drama and jealousy. She's capable of handling her exes for herself and there's no reason at all for him to be involved unless she asks for his assistance for some (legitimate and harmless) reason.

[KazeChan]

Um, look...once two people are in a relationship it becomes his problem too. Now if she wanted to keep it way from him so badly she should have kept her mouth shut, but when you love someone you tell them everything. Do you not? Unless you don't care to hid things from them. Either way he had rights to know. Specially if it stressed her out he could have helped instead of bringing more conflict. Also HITTING is a NO Go! Sometimes I think of hitting someone, a therapist is needed.

[heyyy]

How can you be so ignorant? NO one deservs to be treated like this,not even a man.Hit a girl and what if she would die falling on the tables corner? then what would you say as an outsider"Hmm I think she deserved it..:

[ALWAYSclassy]

I'm sorry but this is a bitch ass post. Only a bitch ass man will hit his girlfriend for a reason like that.

[-StillWater-]

WoW...I hope you get what you deserve... :)

[MrXYZI]

I think the obvious thing to do is to leave. As abusive relationships tend to only get worse. Personally, my dad hit my mom once, but she pushed his limits. He's never touch her since. That may or may not have been 5 years since. Nevertheless, I've stood up for her countless times. So that may or may not have been why it seized to exist.

But as a male, and a man of respect, you shouldn't have to endure such pain in anyway or form. There is better out there for you, trust me, some men would die to make you happy. You just may have looked passed them on countless occasions. Open your eyes and see them, or open your eyes and see this issue. That's all I can say, if you choose to stay, that is by all means your business. We as a community can only tell you what we think is best for your physical health. You as a an individual (risk taker) have to make the leap of faith.

By the way, how big is this guy; I mean, is he a body builder?

[Bruce]

I'm a body builder....................I would have to kill this C*&^ S*&^%$

[swagger]

Lol @ Bruce.... Body Builder= Invincible. .. I'm not so sure lad?

[Littletad]

In all my anger, in all my frustrations, I have never hit a girl before.

I understand he cried, but honey, no girl on earth deserves to be punched by her own boyfriend. No matter what she did or said. This is a dangerous precursor that I hope you notice. Leave him, and stay away from your ex too.

Your current boyfriend will cry and whine, but for the most part, he was crying cause he was afraid of what you would do to him. Please leave. Before it gets worse.

[Limpbiscit]

Hopes the poor gal stays sane enough to leave aye... we see eye to eye on this one.

[Littletad]

Oh? Something tells me you disagree with me a lot from your comment.