Why does she always starts her conversations with me in the same way?

There is a girl who I have known for three years now. She is very nice and kind but isn’t spontaneous or loud (is silent towards strangers but open with her friends). The only people who I have ever seen her start talks with are with her friends (all girls except one guy who only hangs with girls). Recently (couple of weeks), she started to come up to me and talk to me but the thing is I’M NOT her friend which I find weird since she only starts conversations with her friends. The only times she ever does starts talks with me though is when my friends aren’t near by and when her friends aren’t with her (otherwise, they’ll run up to this girl and start talking to her). Whenever we talk, she is always smiling (open smile which is a smile with teeth) but I think she smiles when she talks to anybody (from what I’ve seen in the last 3 years anyway). She also tends to giggle and laugh during our talks also but I don’t recall ever saying anything funny to her. But there is something bothering me though and that is the way she talks to me. SHE ALWAYS STARTS HER TALK IN THE SAME WAY WITH ME. Here how it is: she comes up to me and says “hi (my name)” and then I respond with something like “hey, (her name). Then she says “how’s it going?” and I respond with something like “great and you?” and she answers my question but that’s pretty much it. That’s the only stuff she ever says: “hi” and “how are you?” and then she stops and it’s like it’s my job to continue the talk with another question of my own. I’ve seen her talk to her friends and she DEFINETLY talks a lot more. Why is she like this with me ? Does she want something from me?

I have another question : why do you think she tries to talk to me if she hardly knows me?
I also realised somthing else. I think I am quite possibly one of the 2 guys she EVER talks to (one being her girly guy friend and me) but this is from what I've seen. I haven't seen her ever start a talk by herself with any other guy


Most Helpful Girl

  • im in the exact same situation and I'm just like the girl you described. So basically I talk to the guy because I think he's really cute and really nice and I want to get to know him better as a friend at least for right now. I wouldn't say no if the guy asked me out but I don't really like him in that way. So yeah I think this girl just wants to be your friend. She doesn't really have a guy friend she can talk to and it sounds like she wants you to be that guy friend. She isn't carrying on any deep conversations with you because she doesn't know you well enough to ask you anything personal and she doesn't want to say anything stupid. I am pretty sure that the guy I always talk to thinks I like him and I've been trying to show him that I don't see him as more than a friend but I don't think he gets it.

    And while were at it do you have any tips to make him understand that I don't like him that way?

    • If you did like this guy, would you have done anything while you were around him to show him you like him?

    • Show All
    • Wow...what a concidence! that just pretty much decribes the girl I like (very kind, nice to all. She is taller than me and she's a blonde too)

    • Haha that's so weird

What Girls Said 6

  • She wants to get to know you.

  • Well she's quite and especially she doesn't have any guy grinds so she doesn't know how I approach you. It worked once so she keeps doing that. She doesn't know really what to do after that, she's probably scared she'll say something stupid and it hoping you help get the conversation going. She introduces herself because she probably thinks you don't Even notice her (enough to commit her to memory). Just try approaching her once, ask her about herself. She seems she, so helping her by occasionally starting the conversation is great

  • i think she is interested in you nd is trying to subtly find out if you like her to.

    well if you do.talk ahead,and see what happens.maybe she'll open up then.i guess she is just nervous

  • yeaaa she's definitely interested in you. she's probably afraid or cautious of what to say next since she seems to be an introverted type of person. these people usually need to be pulled out of their shells to be open and talk into conversation. she probably has a little crush on you and wants to get to kno you better and just wants to be safe and have you guide the conversation. IF you like her, get talkative with her and ask her questions, her face will probably brighten up with that. if you have no interest in her what so ever.then possibly ask her straight up.'did you have to tell me something, or is there something uve been wanting to tell me'.

  • well you can always be direct and ask her what she wants from you. If I giggled and laughed around a guy it would most likely mean I liked him but to investigate this further, see I fyou can find anything else out from her friends to confirm this


What Guys Said 4

  • She's clearly an introvert, and she probably likes you. She's just not good at small talk and talking to strangers, and she's trying to get to know you but is probably afraid of saying something stupid. Be nice, try to slowly draw her out with questions of your own, and you might find something special. Once she gets to know you better, conversations will flow more naturally. She's just shy from the sound of things.

    I mean, you say you're "NOT her friend," but how do you think shy people make friends in the first place?

  • Updated:

    You know answer on that already man.

    It is quite understandable that she likes you. No doubt in it dude.

  • She is not good in small talk I quess then. For some people - if someone starts always with the same replic it starts turning from time to time more like into just ''hi''. If she would say same things to you but in different words you would react bit different at them.

    Well as far as I can see.

  • how did u meet her