Why do women rarely show any interest on guys even if they like them?

I notice this a lot, women who ignore guys even if they like them, or they never call or text first, or ask for a date, they don't flirt with them either or they even act cold sometimes. Which seems so confusing for men, because you don't even know if keep trying or move on.

Why people assume I don't make the first moves? I always make the first move! but sometimes I would really like if girls were more clear on what they wanted: That is do they like me or not? So I can keep trying. For instance there is girl that is just too hot and cold (likes me and then doesn't) she is too confusing I don't even know if she likes me or not. There are other who I chat seem friendly, into me, but if I don't talk to them, they don't talk to me.


Most Helpful Girl

  • A girl who ignores a guy she likes, hmmmm, how would you know she likes the guy? Maybe she doesn't? However...

    I can say that if a girl is really in to a guy she can become super nervous around him and not know what to do and freeze up or otherwise appear disinterested. Guys do that too.

    I see no reason to ask a guy out for a date or call or text him first. A guy who does not ask me out is not interested. I am approachable, I know how to send the signals that I like a guy and how to make it easy for him to talk to me.

    I have pursued a few guys when I was dating several years back and it only proved to me the truth. If a guy is not pursuing me, there is a reason for it. He either is seeing someone already, is not interested in me, is gay, or will be ever so happy to have casual sex with me, but has no interest in dating or pretending he wants a relationship.

    I left a note on a neighbor's car once to call me to go out. He was fun to talk to and he thought I was attractive. However, he kept cancelling our dates or not showing up, but then would apologize and invite me to hang at his place. I gave him the benefit of the doubt but finally recognized he was just trying for casual sex. I got him back real good. I invited him over to my place after he called me saying he was available to hang out. We had some wine, sat on the couch talking and then I told him I had to call it a night. When he got to the front door I gave him a big old kiss and said goodbye. Didn't answer any of his texts after that. Hilarious.

    • Thanks you just answered my question ...but another guy is trying to flirt with her what should I do?

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    • This answer is spot on. All a female really has to do is send availability signals. Any male with a significant amount of braincells will recognize a girl's signaled interest.

    • congratulations on proving what a b**ch you are!

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What Girls Said 40

  • Women do it because it feels safer. It's partly because of a double standard.

    If a man goes up to a girl and flirts it's perfectly normal and a male-like quality according to society. Even among classy men, if a man flirts with multiple women at once it's seen as being charming. If the girl rejects him, he can tell his friends and they laugh it off and make jokes about that girl being a bitch or how he can just try again with someone else. If a guy is asked out, the same idea occurs. He isn't expected to reject her if she's hot because that'd make him gay.

    If a girl goes up to a guy and flirts, it's labeled as being slutty. Since men typically don't reject women, if the girl is rejected she feels especially rejected (and remember, a girl's self esteem is more sensitive). If a girl is surrounded by a group of men and she's flirting with all of them she's a total whore. If a girl is asked out, unless she has already hinted at liking him for the right reasons, she will get labeled as easy if she accepts.

    You get the point.

    Women often feel like they should be the colder ones or that they should play hard to get because society supports the concept. We don't show interest because that can easily lead to a bad reputation if not carefully monitored. It sounds completely anti-feminist, but we're better off waiting for the men to try.

  • Well when guys are friendly and nice they are good guys but with us women its a slippery slope I mean if your very nice guys might think you are desperate it your too friendly you might be considered a whore men don't have to think like that, ever. Plus do they even know that you are single?

  • Fear. Pride. Usually both. We don't want to seem desperate or get hurt so we protect ourselves and you taking initiative shows us you care about us, which is good. It's not fair to you but we're human and it's how we deal with things sometimes. But if you like someone, you should go for it because it's what you want and give it your best shot, regardless of how others act, its your life and your actions you can control.

  • You know how you guys are always going on about being afraid to approach when shy and all that? Same reason.

    • no no no I am saying after I have done the approaching, I am not talking about approaching men. They just seem to be passive.

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    • Except you're excuse isn't valid, since you aren't encouraged to go after guys and experience as much rejection as we are expected to.

    • Excuse me, but who are you to tell me that this reason is invalid? There ARE girls out there who don't approach because they're too shy. JUST like how some guys are afraid to. Your little accusation doesn't make sense. Come back later when you have a better response because that one is so ridiculous, I'm not even sure where to start.

  • Fear of rejection or maybe thinking that she's misunderstood the situation ?

    there's nothing worse than finding out that someone just thought you were a great "friend" . I want to be sure it's something more than that , and it can be hard to tell sometimes.

    Basically that's why men and women aren't open and clear about the people they want to meet / date/ have a relationship with . They don't want to be rejected ...or have just plain got it wrong ; because of what they wanted it to be .

    • WHY can't women be straight forward as men about their intentions?

    • A lot of men aren't straight forward ... that's my point :)

      Some men and women are very straight forward , most aren't ( in my experience ).

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What Guys Said 22

  • most girls say fear of rejection...god, if I had fear of rejection then I'd never ask women for anything...

    do you realize how many times guys get rejected and rejected and rejected...does it make us not go after what you want?

    a majority of girls like to play hard to get and if they aren't gonna chase me then they think I'm not worth the chase...yada yada yada, YAWWWWWWWWWWWNNNN

    if you want us, let us know, stop playing retarded games...

    • if you stop being p******

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    • Yeah I know not all guys are like that who just want sex, so not all girls are like that and can't initiate. I have asked out guys before, yeah it was hard but I did it because I wanted to know whether or not he really liked me so I could finally put it to rest and stop wondering. I did it for me, not for anybody else. You'll get some shy people who can't do that, girls and guys. Exactly, don't judge!

    • On second thought.. This guy deserves the best answer.

  • I agree with you not all, but most girls do this as I have discovered. I have known girls that have liked me for sure but act exactly as you stated above. I think a lot of it stems from insecurity and uncertainty as most women are insecure about everything. In fact I have found the more beautiful a woman is the more insecure she is. No matter how beautiful I find a woman I can tell she is insecure by the way she acts and by her body language and there's the inevitable head games.

    My advice read the most fascinating book called the art of seduction by robert greene which really puts things in perspective. its a book that deals with how to seduce, make one fall in love, etc and the psychology of all of it backed up with historical examples. Just go to amazon the reviews speak for themselves but it is utterly fascinating and gives you a great deal into female psychology and how a woman thinks,etc.

    • " In fact I have found the more beautiful a woman is the more insecure she is. " I agree!

    • i agree too! I've been told I'm beautiful, really pretty etc. but I've never dated and I'm pretty sure that's contributed to my insecurities. I think "if I were really attractive I'd have a bf." Truth is, guys rarely ask out pretty girls, assuming they're taken. In turn, many of us are single, wonder why, and get insecure.

  • There scared too.

  • Why do women rarely show any interest on guys even if they like them?

    I'm no expert but my experience taught me that they (97% of women population) are scared sh$%@$% less of rejection. So much that they stop trying to get a guy to like them and start becoming bitter and bitchy about the success other girls get. As a result we men get the backlash of their shyness by trying to figure out by trial and error if the girl we have interest in is giving us signals of interest or is just sending us a friend invite. There's a distinction to both, signals meaning playing with hair (release of hormones camouflaged in scent/perfume/spicy), accidently dropping something so you look at her ass, etc... (seems random but believe me it's on purpose). As for the friend request is more when she talks to you plain and simple without the accidents.

    The scent of horny woman is easier to catch when she's close to her period = More aggressive with the signals. Also The special odor is easier for men who have sex regularly to catch (more awareness to opportunity.) When she's close to her period, the smell can sometimes be so present in the air that you get HOT and simply don't know why (horny woman close).

    Most Girls are aware of what they have to do to prevent a guy from getting sex. But they know ZERO about how to get the guy and actually keep him once they have him. (anxiety + anxiety = Stress). Similar on how we guys more often than we want, finish in the FriendZone as opposed to Boyfriend. (it's a matter of experience)

    One more thing experience taught me is that If a girls is nice to you. it's just that and nothing else. So guys keep walking, nice girl at 12 o'clock . Evasive maneuvers move at 2 or 10 o'clock and high five your guy pal at 9 or 3 o'clock.

    If she's interested she'll try again. For the time being she lacks experience in brackets (she's just shy).

  • We're guys, we'll never understand women. No matter how "knowledgeable" or "experienced" you claim to be.

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