Why do guys ignore me in clubs/bars?

I am a tall, skinny, blonde...I'm really into hair/clothes/etc...So I'm almost always really put together. People are always telling me I'm beautiful and I get checked out/hit on all the time throughout the day.

So I know that guys notice me, but whenever I get to bars or clubs...guys may sort of check me out but they definitelyyyy don't approach.

I just find it weird that guys hit on me throughout the day, but when I finally get to a club - a place DESIGNATED for meeting the opposite gender and sparking connections - no guy seems to give me the time of day.

For example, yesterday while I was shopping 3 total strangers went on about how beautiful I am and two guys hit on me...so I was feeling pretty good about going out that night...I get to the bar...NO one says a word to me.

Whats the deal?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Do you dress up more when you hit the bars? If you do, maybe your outfits make you appear very high-maintenance, guys dread that.

    • I usually am pretty dressed up...that's a turn off? Actually that's what one of the guys who talked to me yesterday afternoon mentioned ...he kept commenting on how I was really dressed up and I looked really nice, ect. ...So maybe that could be it? My friend always wears a simple shirt, jeans, and high heels and she gets way more attention even though she's less fixed up.

    • Yes I think that could be the cause. Girls who are very dressed up can be intimidating for guys. So I suggest trying to dress down a little, but keep it feminine. Maybe you'll have more success that way.

What Guys Said 7

  • What are you complaining about, if people hit on you during day time, you are way ahead than girls that won't be aprouched on anytime. Be greatful, and maybe you should make your moves, be social, intelegent and spontanius. Be social and friendly with everyone so then guys know that you re not the daddy's little girl nor a slut, you are a friend not a barbie.

    • I don't get that either? The same woman in the light of day is two notches above the bar chick ..

    • I guess this is how I think of it...It's kind of like the kid who is good at a class, but every time he takes a test he does poorly. I'm good at the classwork and the basic knowledge...aka - having guys attention during the day and flirting with them then, ect. ..But when it comes to the test - aka- the bar...(the time I need to prove myself and pick up the guys/take them home)...nothing happens+then I feel like a failure/pathetic. I just want to find a guy to date...I don't know why its so hard.

  • Wouldn't you rather have guys talking to you during the day? I thought girls didn't like meeting guys at the bar because they (wrongly) think they only want one thing.

  • A lot of guys know that girls are harder to approach at clubs and bars, and easier to approach at school, during the day, etc.

  • Manshopping in aisle 2 ...

    Maybe you should roll with the punches and bring guys home with the groceries =)

  • You know.. normally guys don't keep hitting on every girl in sight.. yes - that's a revelation! ..as it's still widely believed that we are still cavemen who are happy with any woman as long as she got pĆ¼ssy.

    Maybe you've put up too much make-up/too much preppy clothes and you got obviously 'fake' look - now, I may get crap for saying this as being a "hypocrite", but to be real, many guys automatically skip such chicks as long as they spot that her 'beauty' is waaay too much dependent on something else.. they assume that she may not be that or any pretty while naked and after washing it all off.

    Or you're just too used of receiving attention, and the moment you don't receive it you think something is wrong.

    And bars are not single-men lairs, even married men visit them. Can't say the same about clubs though.

  • Rock to the music and bend over. A man will be appear behind you magically. It will be David Copafeel.


What Girls Said 3

  • Do you go with friends? Are you standing in the corner or sitting at some table? Get on the dance floor and try to have fun! Works like a charm! PS Smiling always helps too!

  • Maybe you are too hot and they are intimidated? Maybe you keep going to gay bars? Maybe you come off as snotty or full of yourself because you know you're hot. That's a super turn-off.

  • Maybe there's something about your vibe that turns them off.

    I've seen gorgeous girls get turned away guys because of the way they behave. I would say that they may just be intimidated by your beauty, but I know that can't be true. One of my friends is very beautiful and has practically identical situations happen, but she gets hit on even in clubs. So I think maybe you present yourself as stuck up or something.