How do I tell my parents about my black girlfriend when they are racist?

my mother and Father are from Ireland and Germany, so they kinda have "old ideals." They can't understand why I want to date black girls, My father said "if you ever bring a black girl home ill beat the life out of you." and my mother "why can't you find a nice white girl like your brothers?" Don't get me wrong I like white girls a lot, but black girls are so damn sexy I can't not stare at them lol. I know some are into the ghetto/thug thing, but there are so many sweet, beautiful, sexy black women all over the place! ah! back to the point, my Girlfriend is black, I've met her family and the women seemed to love me but the black guys were so angry and called me things I don't care to repeat, but we got through it and they accept us now. the next hurdle is my family, who I will get no support from at all but I don't care.

i need advice, how do I break it to them so that my family doesn't turn it into world war 3 over this?

oh and one last thing, I have read on here that many black girls think of themselves as ugly or unattractive. that is so not true black ladies you are BEAUTIFUL and I love you.


Most Helpful Girl

  • My dad is completely racist and my husband's mom is completely against her children dating or marrying outside of their race. I am white and my husband is Mexican American. Neither of us cared what our parents said about it because we love each other and we are going to be together despite what they have to say and now they are used to it. My dad said "I like him even though I really don't want to". At one point I was living in his parents house (without him there) while we were dating and his mom kicked me out. Now that I am pregnant with her granddaughter she has accepted the fact that no matter how much she doesn't like that I'm white, I'm not going anywhere. Sure I'd like my daughter to look like me and maybe she will you never know, but that doesn't change how much I love her and it doesn't say that she won't get an even mix of both races heritage. Also, she will most likely "act white" also (though I hate using that statement because I don't believe people really act as a race) because my husband "acts white" (he says that he is 'white washed') and I am white. If you love a person for who they are (race and all) then their or your parents shouldn't be able to choose who you are with. There is no need to even bring them into the relationship unless you truly want to. If you do, then sit them down and say that you understand their beliefs are one way but yours are another and you would hope that they are accepting of your decisions as their son. Tell them that your girlfriend is of another race and talk to them about it. We both know that you didn't pick the girl you are with just because of her race so explain that to them also. Tell them that if she was white you would still feel the same way about her but she is not and they should accept her for who she is. If they don't accept it then just don't bring her over to meet them. If you end up marrying her then they will have to accept it anyways.

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      A family member is supposed to show unconditional love especially if you choose to date outside of your race and if they shun you for that they are not showing and they are supposed to be there regardless.