Why is my girlfriend always jealous?

[Anonymous]

My girlfriend (Julie) and I have been together for about 5 months. For the most part we get along very well and have fun together. We are both 23.

The only problem is that she is super jealous.

We both have platonic friends of the opposite gender, but if I hang out with a female friend of mine my girlfriend Julie gets super mad/upset at me. I don't really mind if she hangs out with a guy friend of hers. I trust her and I know her guy friends are good people.

For example: her closest friend is Chris. Chris has a girlfriend and has been friends with Julie for a few years. Julie was home last week to see her family so her and Chris hung out. That same night I got together with my best friend, Rebecca. Julie got super pissed at me, saying I "replaced" her and what not. It was crazy. Rebecca has a boyfriend and has been one of my closest friends since college. Basically, what Julie told me is that she can be friends with Chris, but I can't be friends with Rebecca.

Furthermore, last week I got together with my friend Andrew, who brought his friend Samantha along. I have never met Samantha and didn't know I was meeting her until the night of. When I talked to my girlfriend that night she yelled at me and hung up the phone because I was about to hang out with another girl.

I think it's unfair.

I like my girlfriend a lot and I don't want to date anyone else and my female friends are just friends and that's all. I tell her all this and she basically tells me she can be jealous and I have to "deal with it." Relationships should be a two way street, in my opinion.

I don't care if she hangs out with male friends. I have never got mad or jealous, even if her male friends are with us and we all hung out.

Another female friend of mine is coming to town with her boyfriend next week. I asked Julie if she wanted to get together with them. She basically said "I'll see what I am doing." I know she doesn't want to go because a female friend of mine (who has a boyfriend!) will be there.

What should I do?

I have never been unfaithful or do anything to her that would make her think I wasn't trustworthy.

Thank you!

[Mr187canada]

You should tell her it's bothering you. That's the first step be a man. The next thing you should do is tell her there just your friends. You don't plan to cheat or do anything with them. You should even remind her she should come along and have a good time. They have a boyfriend and if she really has trust problems with them than she can come along and meet them herself. But to be honest I've dealt only with a girl like that once and I ended up dumping her like a month later. It was way to much fighting every time I went to to a party (even if its a guy friend of mine) or came home late from work (even if I got a reason) she was bitching at me about it. Asking me if I am seeing another girl and such.

It's up to you if you really, I say confront her and remind her that you can't take the drama over nothing. You have a life that she's just a part of. Not 100 percent of. And yeah I say if it keeps up after confronting her about it, I would leave her. But all honestly its up to you and if you think the drama is worth it or not.

[Anonymous]

You answered it yourself: "She is super jealous."

That could just be her personality. Or...

One of the reasons could be because she really likes you (maybe even love).

Another reason could be that she has no trust, either in you, or in the girl(s) you hang out with.

No trust in a relationship is a bad sign. Go talk to her and clarify it.

Ask her how she feels and tell her how you feel. Maybe she doesn't completely understand why you're doing what you're doing. Just talk to her about it and mention how she should do the same for you when you don't get mad or jealous at her for hanging out with other guys.

To be honest though, it's healthy to have some jealousy in a relationship sometimes :)

It shows that you care about him/her enough that you get worried/upset/aggravated if they were taken away from you.