"Women always find something wrong with a good man, but always find something good in a f**ked up one"...

Question

...how much truth, in your opinion, is in the statement stated above?

I frankly believe there is a lot of truth to this statement.

There are plenty of times that I've noticed a female date a guy, that was obviously & genuinely "bad"...yet she get involved with, & stays with, him because of some imaginative "goodness" that NOBODY else she knows ever seems to see.

On the flipside, I've seen a female date a guy that is a overall good-looking dude, and is the idealistic boyfriend in all ways. However, I've seen the female in question:

1) randomly get "cold feet" about the relationship, when there are no glaring problems within it

2) she intensely searches for serious flaws in the guy's personality/character, when there are non there

3) she picks fights over very small stuff (or the "created" traits "found" in #2) to "create" problems in the relationship

Share your thoughts, please. Since this subject can be, um, touchy...anonym answers are allowed.

Thanks for your input. :)

zombiefood · Accepted Answer

Liking bad guys, or seeing the good in bad guys is a phase that some girls go through. Yes, girls, because it's an immature phase and until they get out of it they can't possibly be considered women, regardless of their age.

There's all kinds of reasons and psychology behind it that I always talk about but I'm tired, and sick of this same question. The few should not give the whole a bad name.

As for her habits while in a relationship-

1) When I start to get close to someone and open up I start go get cold feet, too. It's daunting, intimidating and scary to be honest. I don't like opening up and it makes me nervous and uncomfortable. When I start to get too comfortable and let my defenses down I also have periods of backing away because I get freaked out.

2) A lot of people believe that relationships can't be perfect, it's just not possible. There's got to be something wrong, and until that something is found you're just living in a dream land. If you find it soon you can prepare for it, you won't be so deep in love, it's easier to back out.

3) I don't think she picks them on purpose. I know sometimes I pick fights because I'm in a bad mood or because I don't understand what's going on so I mistake something my boyfriend said or did. I doubt she tries to create problems. And if she is trying to create problems then maybe it's because she believes that no relationship can be so perfect, so easy, so simple. A lot of people don't. We've seen and heard so many times that movies are fake and that love isn't real and that you have to try and work to have good relationships and a lot of people believe it.

xobrowneyedbeauty · Accepted Answer

there are flaws in everyone and good things in everyone. it's impossible not to notice these things. the difference is how big of a deal she makes out of it. no one is perfect.

elements · Accepted Answer

Yes, I think it's true, but not for ALL women. That's the only thing I don't agree with -- the generalization of all women.

PsychedelicZebra · Accepted Answer

This situation, as you describe "Women always find something wrong with a good man, but always find something good in a f**ked up one", is only true when women are dating men who don't have a backbone.

In a healthy relationship, both partners have a backbone / opinion, and this leads to the occasional argument because people's opinions tend to differ.

"Nice guys" tend to give the impression that they are trying to hard. Women are people, and people like a challenge, so the "bad" guys that you describe... are a challenge for women to change.

Of course, any woman who's in tune with reality, knows that you can't change in man.

As a "bad boy" (as gay as that sounds), I can tell you that I always treat women with respect. Just because I don't believe in society's stupid laws and conventions, doesn't mean that I can value a woman for who she is and how she completes me.

Women look for flaws in a man the same way that men look for flaws in a woman. It may seem shallow, but people have to be picky in order to find a meaningful relationship. Marriage should be forever, it's one of the biggest decisions you'll make, so you're best to be cautious about it.

If a girl picks petty fights with a guy, she's just testing his love and patience. Girls, like guys, need to feel loved. So, both genders pick fights from time to time, just to get a feel for how the other person really feels about them.

BCRanger10 · Accepted Answer

I would agree with this, as I have personally experienced it.  My question is, though, what is the dating history of this "female in question"?  If it's full of dirtbags, she's probably in sort of a "it's quiet, too quiet" stage.  Things are going very well, but she's expecting to get blindsided at any moment, so she's preparing herself.  Your argument does make sense though, that she either invents or blows out of proportion a personality flaw this good guy has and likewise with the jerk, she invents or blows out of proportion some redeeming trait he may have.  Again, I agree with you.

Phoenix1991 · Answer

I think that is true, Without sounding too cocky, I consider myself a decent guy in a relationship terms. I wouldn't say I'm a Saint, but I do have layers of insecurities and flaws that I may try to hide and when someone tries to get a bit aggressive on certain topics, Examples are I have a hard time dealing with emotions, not always willing to bend over backwards for the relationship 24/7,etc. I mean us men and women are humans, so of course there is a flaw in each one of us, doesn't mean its always going to be something that makes you go " HOLY F***king $#!T " but you never know.

With that being said, I do believe that most women tend to over analyze things a bit too much, Not that I truly find that to be an issue, but it can be one eventually. Not all guys have hidden agendas, most men are actually straight forward, you can figure a guy within 2 weeks of being with him hands down, if its not through his words, its his actions. IF there is a bad trait / attribute within a person and you find out, it can be a deciding factor in a relationship. For example, they have a flirty nature, history of doing drugs/crime, issues with cheating in the past, etc. Those are the basic ones that might be a big red flag, but usually the small crap can be excused and accepted =). My opinion of course.

Anonymous · Answer

So true. My friend (girl) was dating a guy and she broke it off, and then she told me "He's great in every respect, but, I think I'm attracted to taller men". As a polite, physically fit, open minded, educated, shorter male, I ripped into her.

Then, when she dated a taller dude, she told me she was having second thoughts about them moving across states together ( she got a new job) . She defended her choice with "But he's different..." and when she looked at me while saying that, she trailed off and changed the subject. She broke up with him a few months later.

Lots of truth, but it's not necessarily the rule.

AltTech · Answer

Very very true.  Also for men.  I've seen both guys and girls mess up really good relationships for no reason.  And then get engaged to a person who is a total pile of garbage.  Blows my mind, personally.

Anonymous · Answer

Agree I'm in a practically perfect relationship and I'm looking for a way out.. It's got to be too good to be true, I' want to cut my loses before I fall too much.  I'm crazy

Anonymous · Answer

Tis true. But there are also things wrong with bad boys.

Ezmotts · Answer

Wow, you sir, have read my mind.

TheGodEmperorLeto · Answer

So f***ing true.

Hades · Answer

Totally true.

"Women always find something wrong with a good man, but always find something good in a f**ked up one"...

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