What should I do about my girlfriend who seems to like attention from other guys?

[dude91]

we have been going out for about 2 years now and it seems like to me she likes it when guys flirt because she likes the attention but she isn't the type that would cheat. Her longest relationship before me was 3 months. It will get to a point were these guys she works with will try to talk dirty to her and these guys do it all the time yet she just kinda lets it go. When I confronted her about it and I told her that I don't approve of it, she said that she'll change but then it seemed like she wasn't changing I confronted her again and she told me that I can't control her to tell these guys off. What do I do in this situation?

[pinknonsense]

Hello!

Well first of all. How are you finding out about these guys from her work? Some people like to get attention from other people regardless if its negative or positive attention...It’ss STILL ATTENTION. If you have spoken to her in a non-confrontational way and explained your reasons as to why you think it’s inappropriate for her to flirt and she still continues maybe you should pull back a bit and let her learn her lesson. If you have been together for 2 years she probably finds it routine to be in the same relationship and other male attention is a bit “of fresh air” in a sense. It disrespectful no doubt but ultimately is up to you to set your boundaries and put your foot down. IT’s not a matter of being controlling or manipulative your simply stating facts. She flirts with other men and it bothers you. Playing games or doing the same to her will only p*ss her off and she will catch on right away but then again you have nothing to loose. Give her a taste of her own medicine. I'm sure she would spit it right out and wouldn’t like it.

[Eiffelgirl21]

Well, from what I have seen...girls who like attention from guys have insecurity issues.

They think that something is wrong with them..and they need attention to constantly remind them, that not only she (if she even considers herself pretty) likes her looks, but others do too, so she cannot be demented if she is getting all this extra attention.

Here seems to always be an easy fix..Put her in your shoes. Start flirting with girls..or even fake it..whatever, just make her feel what you are feeling. It is HER job to tell these guys they are acting inappropriate. Not your job. And, it is not hard to do so...

'I have a boyfriend, and I don't think he would appreciate it if you talked to me that way'

That is not hard! and, she is lying if she said that she has said it..because once a guy is rejected and put in his place, he usually stops!

Best wishes xx

[Kalyani22226]

She is right she gave extra answer

[slipslender]

that's annoying. but she hasn't cheated or anything... I guess she likes the self-affirmation that she's attractive or whatever. if I were you, I'd sit down with her and really tell her how much it bothers you. don't demand her to shut down the other guys- giving her the impression that you want to control her will backfire. instead, let her know that it worries you and that it's pretty important to you that she understand where you're coming from. if she STILL won't tell those guys to lay off... then I guess she isn't worth the time. it's alright to want attention, everyone does. but to let it go to talking dirty is crossing the line. it's disrespectful to you and if she doesn't see that, she's got some major issues. best of luck.

[slipslender]

thanks for BA :)

[chettah-two]

Honestly 9 out 10 girls that behave like that have cheated.

You can't change someone, if I was me I would dump her, but some people are okay with it.

It won't get easier for you, but what will happen if she can't get the attention she wants.

[fjs07470]

I agree... in my opinion, they still want to play the field if they are constantly seeking attention from other guys.

[Xx_DRE_xX]

Sure she can't control what a guy says to her but she can tell him off. Your right She just likes attention to get other confirmation that she's beautiful,sexy or whatever. I say Drop her.

[phl321]

I am somewhat similar to your girlfriend and I've recently done the flirting like your girlfriend has. I told my boyfriend about it and he wasn't happy but we both put our boundaries down. If she does not understand the boundaries, then you should try changing it up because it is getting too routine for her. Do some activity or just something different together that's out of the blue, something unexpected; it will give your relationship some new life. That's what kept my relationship stronger and now we're doing much better.

[Msputiton]

It's simple, talk to her tell her how you feel, and if it bothers you, and she isn't willing to change.

You have 2 options. Learn to except it, or leave her.

Since i know something like this bothering you will not magically go away it is best to part ways.

Why? You can't make her stop allowing this, and she can't make you learn how to accept it

Find a girlfriend who fits what you want, instead of find a girlfriend, and expecting her to change for your benefits.

It never works out in the long run. Eventually she will get tired of living a lie and leave you

[fjs07470]

Very well stated... I would just go in peace.

[Anonymous]

You can't controll her to do that. Everyone likes attention, as long as she doesn't do something to hurt you (like cheating, but she said she's not the type) it's better to be a bit jealous and enjoy the attention you're getting from other girls as well.

[OlderAndWiser]

"She would be a perfect girlfriend if only she would change this one thing about herself!"

Dude, what s the usual advice to people who want a boyfriend or girlfriend to change?

[Thoughtso]

it seems like she wants the best of both worlds...

think long term...you will find your answer.

[Hades]

Leave her and move on?