28, Never had a girlfriend before...Am I single forever?

[Anonymous]

I feel old. Like life has passed me by, several times, in fact. The boat came, but it did not stop to pick me up. It rescued everyone except me.

I know that I'm not that old. I'm not yet 30, and on top of that, I still look pretty healthy and youthful for my age. I don't feel at all like I'm 28, except for the fact that I'm already starting to lose hair.

And that I have a much more horrible secret, which is that I've never had a girlfriend in my life, much less even a fling.

Of course, I'm not looking for a hook-up, which is why I don't tell people my horrible secret, because that's what they'll assume. I'm a socially conservative guy, and I still don't believe in sex before marriage.

But that just makes me even more of a freak, and makes it harder for me to find someone who I can "click" with. I feel like I'm out-of-touch with everyone.

I look at people younger than me, and they have ten times as much relationship experience as I do. Some are even married.

I don't have any of that, and I feel like it shows, even though I try to hide it. And I feel that there must be something wrong with me, because no matter what I try, I can't find a girl who will even give me a chance.

Thoughts?

[indelible]

Are you a Christian or have some religious views that support your no sex before marriage view? If so, you could try meet some people at church or a similar place. They often have social type gatherings in a low-key environment in which you might meet somebody special.

Look at why you are still single. Try something different. Make an effort to be a bit more social and take some social risks (meeting others and putting yourself out there). Of course this is easier said than done. Thing is - if you want it enough, you will try something different.

I think there's always a chance for you. It's never too late to have a girlfriend. Some girl out there will like you for not sleeping around and having heaps more 'experience'. Just find a way to connect with females you might hit it off with. Think of your interests and passions.

[Asker]

I have tried many different things. All have ended in failure. I am Christian, although even most Christians don't seem to still believe waiting until marriage. I also don't smoke, and don't drink very much. Part of the problem may be that most people I know (99%) have very different values, and so they don't understand me. The other part of the problem is probably something else about how I come off. I don't know.

[indelible]

I think it's mainly to do with your beliefs and values. There are Christian groups out there that are more devout than others.

If you think there's something in the equation about your impression that has a negative impact on your chances then maybe you want to ask some of your friends or people close to you that might know.

Another way of finding good people is to get lost in a passion. If you're really into something, that's infectious and others like seeing your joy in pursuing it.

[sportdistant]

i give enormous about of props for sticking to your beliefs and values, but it sounds like you may need to loosen up a bit. try and have some fun or something, quit looking at your singleness as a horrible secret. the more you don't give a f*** about certain things, and appear to have a fun and awesome life, the more women would want to be apart of it.

[Anonymous]

hey don't feel so bad about yourself. I've had my share of what I thought were meaningful relationships only to find out the joke was on me. and I too have been through the "what in the hell is wrong with me" stage of being single. turned out I had different plans in life that didn't involve anyone else (ie. university degree) that seriously left me with no time for a relationship. so just hang in there and try to find activities that you like to do with like minded people. networking and making new friends opens up a whole new world of opportunity to meet a nice girl or maybe even a few to pick from :o)

ps. I have a new boyfriend who has the same conservatie values as you do and if anything that makes him more attractive

[Asker]

But is your boyfriend also as inexperienced as I am? When it comes to my conservative values, it's very hard to find like minded people, because all the girls I know are very very liberal and don't understand that.

[Opinion Owner]

well I can't really answer whether he's as inexperienced as you say you are. he is a little self conscious about his experience and told me he's a little worried about not meeting my expectations. so yeah we're taking things slow and getting to know each other as friends first which is so cool. oh and by the way I think everyone gets self conscious about the whole sex department thing... seriously :o)

[Iceangel08]

Don't let it get to u. You said that you are Christian so if that is so you should know that you believe in god to send you a woman who will love you and be what makes you whole then you will one day meet her. And I agree about the no sex before marriage. I waited and glad I did. I never had a boyfriend until is was almost 19 but I prayed that god would send me someone who would love me and be the one that made me whole. I know I am not as old as you but in all due time you will know

What god wants for you but in his time not urs. :) keep it head up!

[Anonymous]

It's hard to pin point why you aren't successful with women, but I would suggest you get a dating coach to evaluate your situation. Or, get a non biased opinion from someone you know to help you with the do's and don'ts of dating, and/or possibly any dating flaws that you might have. The boat is always coming in, if you missed the last one it doesn't mean you have to miss the next one.

[Asker]

Thanks for the optimism!

I've talked to my friends, and tried some of their advice, but it seems that what worked for them won't work for me.

[Opinion Owner]

That's why I suggest getting a professional dating coach, so they can help your personal situation.

[moviedude714]

it's definetley not the norm, but if a guy your age is still single, as in always been, it's not as surprising compared to a girl who has always been single at your age

[Hades]

Well...do you approach women? You have to approach them if you want to get a girlfriend. Out of curiosity, how tall are you?

[Asker]

That's obvious. I do try, although I will admit I am a bit shy. I'm 6'1.

[Hades]

What in the azure blue f*ck? I've never heard of a guy over 6 feet tall having trouble with women before. Well, it'll make things a hell of a lot easier, at least. Where do you approach women? Do you have any friends who could introduce you to some women?

[Asker]

6 feet is not that tall, at least in the U.S. Anyway, I don't believe that height is what women look for. I mostly approach women I meet through school/work. I'm a PhD student. Unfortunately, I don't have any friends who could introduce me to any women I don't already know.

[Hades]

6'1 and a PhD, you say? Hmmmm...have you tried dating sites? One of my friends met his girlfriend on one, he's similar to you 'cept for the PhD.

[Asker]

How old was he?

[Hades]

Same as me, 21.

[Anonymous]

wow THATS VERY LATE IN THE GAME?..

[Asker]

I know.

[Kain6th]

Soooooo?

[Opinion Owner]

WOW I GOT SO MANY RATINGS!...and p.s KAIN6TH SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YOUR ON MY FRIENDS LIST :)